is this an interrogation ?!

35 replies

fliptothefloptotheflip · 19/11/2024 16:48

Friend asked if I can go somewhere with them. I said sure but probably have to be next week if they want me to go with them as I am busy this week (i.e. working) and all this weekend. Their immediate response was ''what are you doing this weekend then'' ?

It just feels like an interrogation and that I need to justify my whereabouts for the weekend. I do not feel like it is a friendly curious question being asked out of showing an interest, especially as given this message exchange all took place on Monday, a whole week away from the weekend.

I will probably get flamed and accused of over thinking this and being a shitty friend for someone who was just trying to show an interest.

OP posts:

AuntieStella · 19/11/2024 17:16

I'd just take it as friendly interest - an ordinary follow on to keep conversation going.

Unless there's a massive back story, or she had adopted the tones of a Spanish Inquisitor

MereDintofPandiculation · 19/11/2024 17:10

Are you not able to see her at the weekend or do you just not want to? If the latter, is that colouring your understanding of her meaning?

MumOfOneAllAlone · 19/11/2024 17:08

You sound like you're being really unreasonable, but maybe, as has been said, the tone was off

SalsaLights · 19/11/2024 17:06

Tone is everything. None of us were there so we don't know. But there's a difference between a friendly 'what are you doing this weekend' from someone being interested. Vs it being said but in a shitty tone of voice that suggests that you're a cow for not being immediately available at their beck and call.

If it's the latter, then I'd be disinclined to do your friend much of a favour.

BobbyBiscuits · 19/11/2024 16:59

It's literally the use of the word 'then' that makes it sound as if she doesn't believe you or accept your answer. I could easily ask out of interest, and if I was you I'd probably say up front 'oh, I can't at the weekend as I'm doing xyz'. It's the phrasing that sounds off. Which may or may not be intentional. At best take it as a sign she really wants to see you and is a bit disappointed you're not free sooner. Better than her saying I don't want to go anywhere with you! Presuming you actually do like her?

XWKD · 19/11/2024 16:59

I've been called nosey for being a bit like this, when in truth I was just trying to appear interested. It's ok when I explain that the answer would go I once ear and out the other, as I don't really care where someone is going and what they're doing there. 🤣

FOJN · 19/11/2024 16:58

No one here can know your friends motives for asking, maybe it is just a friendly enquiry, maybe she's being nosy or maybe she wants to know so she can negotiate for her wants to be prioritised but you are overthinking it. Just tell her you're busy and ask what day suits her for next week.

HousedInMySoul · 19/11/2024 16:57

I don't think it's a terrible thing to ask a friend, is it?
She was just asking what you are doing at the weekend 🤷
I suppose you could tell her to fuck off if you really object to it, but it could cause offence 😂

username358 · 19/11/2024 16:54

I'm assuming this is out of character or you wouldn't be friends. Perhaps she felt you were making up excuses and really wanted some support. Perhaps you've let her down before and she's tired of it.

It's difficult to tell given the lack of detail in the OP. Often the best thing to do is talk to her to work out why she gave that response. Maybe she's going through something you're not aware of.

Or you can just tell her to fuck off as advised.

Chowtime · 19/11/2024 16:50

Tell her to fuck right off the nosy cow. That'll teach her.

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