Birthday present

IcyCritic · 2024-11-19T13:58:02+00:00

Hi everyone, I need opinions on this situation. so it’s coming up to my sons 6th birthday he wrote a birthday list with family he asked for a pet chicken. Family are considering this as a present and calling me unreasonable for not wanting this a present, 1 I have a small garden, 2 don’t know the first thing about keeping a pet chicken 3 I’m not wanting to take responsibility for having to look after it. Family have responded with You wouldn’t want to put yourself out for your child’s happiness.

MinnieMountain · 20/11/2024 06:13

The only child I know who has been given a chicken, the family already has them. Otherwise it’s a ridiculous idea.

Eenameenadeeka · 20/11/2024 06:08

Nope. I think it's annoying to buy a pet that someone else will have to be responsible for. My mil bought my son tadpoles. He was 3. And had expressed no interest in them either. Annoying.

Ilikemymenlikeilikemycoffee · 19/11/2024 18:43

Not everyone gets what they ask for! What if it was a horse or a Lamborghini?! This is ridiculous! Stand your ground.

ChildrenOfTheQuorn · 19/11/2024 18:40

You can't just buy (or even better, rescue) one chicken. They're not cats or dogs, they need company.

Suet99 · 19/11/2024 17:34

I genuinely think you need to distance yourself from these utterly toxic-sounding people, OP.

TwinklyAmberOrca · 19/11/2024 17:16

IcyCritic · 19/11/2024 17:07

At first I responded with oh that would be nice wouldn’t it, but said about the space and all the things I would need to do, but no was called unreasonable and that I could make it work if I wanted to and then the next was of course you wouldn’t want to put yourself out for you child’s happiness.

What sort of family member would say something like that?!?!

It's emotional blackmail, and I wouldn't want my kids near anyone who promoted that sort of attitude.

Arrange for your son to go to a chicken sanctuary for a day and sponsor a chicken.

Kids need to learn NO, and that they can't always have what they want. Very important lesson!!

Outbatshat · 19/11/2024 17:14

I've read your updates. Stop doubting yourself.

Your child's happiness (and yours) will be vastly improved by not having to associate with such stupid people.

Just tell them to fuck off.

Original poster

IcyCritic · 19/11/2024 17:07

At first I responded with oh that would be nice wouldn’t it, but said about the space and all the things I would need to do, but no was called unreasonable and that I could make it work if I wanted to and then the next was of course you wouldn’t want to put yourself out for you child’s happiness.

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Rocknrollstar · 19/11/2024 17:04

Tell them to find a cuddly stuffed chicken made of fabric.

Mill3nnial · 19/11/2024 17:02

That's actually so weird of them OP

Are they winding you up?

Id just say you wouldn't be able to give them enough space but happy for any of them to get chickens for DS at their house 😄 with suitable emoji indicating you are NOT wound up

MereDintofPandiculation · 19/11/2024 16:55

You can't keep a chicken unless it's protected at night from foxes. Insist they also buy a modern chicken house. About £400. Plus timing mechanism for the door if you're not available to lock the door at dusk 365 days a year. That should cool their ardour.

Or they can sponsor a chicken on his behalf.

Sponsor a hen | British Hen Welfare Trust

When you sign up for Sponsor a Hen you can choose from three options as to how we send your pack; postal, digital or digital plus. By choosing from the table

https://www.bhwt.org.uk/get-involved/sponsor-a-hen/

Original poster

IcyCritic · 19/11/2024 16:44

They laughed at me and told me I was selfish and a bad parent for not allowing my son to be happy
I get what you are saying and have been in many situations like this and tried all ways of getting round it and it just comes back to self doubt that am I being unreasonable and should I be allowing this

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BeachRide · 19/11/2024 16:30

My three year old asked for a real bear trap (to keep his baby sister out of his room). I said no to that. Let the family sulk, and be a parent.

RhiWrites · 19/11/2024 16:27

My sister had chickens and a fox killed them all despite nets, deterrents, etc. Don’t set him up for heartbreak.

Catza · 19/11/2024 16:20

IcyCritic · 19/11/2024 14:13

I have said no, and now they are saying I won’t do it for my child’s happiness! Making me feel guilty. I don’t do what they say but they know how to guilt trip me into thinking I’m a bad mother or a bad person if I don’t do certain things.
If I don’t take my children to there house I’m stopping them from seeing the family, I have made a point of they can come to my house when ever they want to but they are always to busy got things to do at home so can’t leave and I have responsibilities and things that I need to do but that doesn’t matter.

When people say it to you, the only reasonable response that shuts them up is "No, I won't do it for my child's happiness". Not many will be able to come up with a counter-argument. The only reason they can make you feel guilty is because you let them. When you own your boundaries and are not scared to say it like it is, you remove all their ammunition.

Suet99 · 19/11/2024 14:44

Family sound insane. Stop allowing them to guilt-trip you like this — you’re an adult! If DS asked for a horse should you buy him one “for his happiness” too? Madness. Just buy him a toy chicken and be done with it.

Floranan · 19/11/2024 14:43

I would tell them you’ve checked and you aren’t allowed one where you live a lot of places don’t allow them.

they are hard work. And need to be registered you can’t just get one and stick it in the garden. Also one chicken just wouldn’t be happy you need friends for it.

honestly I’ve kept chicken for years yes they can be lovely, the eggs are amazing, but they are hard work and not cheap to keep.

just say it’s on the deeds of the house - no live stock ( it’s on my deeds too )

Original poster

IcyCritic · 19/11/2024 14:37

Because of course don’t want to look after them just the same as me really but I should for his happiness

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GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 19/11/2024 14:34

Why don’t they get chickens to keep at their own house if they’re so bothered and then your DS can visit “his” chickens?

Original poster

IcyCritic · 19/11/2024 14:27

Great shout
I don’t believe he’s really that interested
he loves cows and has a highland cow teddy but has never been bothered by chicken he just says things randomly
he also asked for a real car for his birthday but the chicken is what stuck and now I’m the bad one

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TipsyKoala · 19/11/2024 14:22

They’re being ridiculous. I love chickens but you need the right space. They’re noisy which is not great with near neighbours, and they scratch up the garden. Get him one of these www.amazon.co.uk/Little-Live-Pets-Surprise-Chick/dp/B0BRXZLJX6#aw-udpv3-customer-reviews_feature_div

purser25 · 19/11/2024 14:22

Could you buy him a life sized model of a chicken it would sit in the garden no cleaning to do. He could carry it around even take it to bed

Original poster

IcyCritic · 19/11/2024 14:18

i am to I would never gift an animal to anyone unless they asked or wanted it. Even then I still don’t think I would.
A pet is down to its owner.
I live in a row of 5 attached houses with a garage compound on the back, I do believe there are no restrictions but I don’t know that for sure.

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Original poster

IcyCritic · 19/11/2024 14:15

I agree and don’t want to be looking after more than I can take on
I work full time along with 2 children looking after chickens is not on my to do list.

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Original poster

IcyCritic · 19/11/2024 14:13

I have said no, and now they are saying I won’t do it for my child’s happiness! Making me feel guilty. I don’t do what they say but they know how to guilt trip me into thinking I’m a bad mother or a bad person if I don’t do certain things.
If I don’t take my children to there house I’m stopping them from seeing the family, I have made a point of they can come to my house when ever they want to but they are always to busy got things to do at home so can’t leave and I have responsibilities and things that I need to do but that doesn’t matter.

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