For texting fighting neighbours?

If you hear it again you could message asking if they'd mind turning their TV down a bit as you can hear it over yours and don't want to turn yours up as your little one is a sleep.

I think you’re doing the right thing.

A couple of times I would let slide but if it becomes a regular thing then putting it in the group chat sounds like a good idea- I would be VERY careful how you word it though.

Of course, they can be, however, the statistics are clear this is more usually a male perpetrator. And I personally am rather afraid of angry men, but less so of women, so if I was going to talk to either of them I would talk to the woman.

I know women can be, statistically it’s more likely that a man is an abuser of a woman, that’s all I was thinking, didn’t explain it too well.

No I didn’t mean that at all. I just meant that rather than assume it’s ‘equal’ arguing I would be concerned there is abuse and statistically that’s more likely to be a man abusing a woman.

For your general consensus, OP:

I can't believe you'd even consider putting this in a group chat! That would be absolutely awful!

It sounds like your neighbours are having a really tough time so you could offer support or you could raise the volume nicely in case they don’t realise you can hear everything.

Telling them their behaviour is unacceptable in a group chat is just judging them publicly which isn’t constructive. If they’re rowing like that, they’ve lost control so they’re not thinking about what’s acceptable or how you and your husband conduct yourselves.

My next door neighbours conduct themselves loudly. One night a fight was so bad I called the police. They did take him away but as I asked to be anonymous (I didn't see anything & they obviously had evidence) I don't know the outcome. It was very quiet over the summer so maybe he got jail, I can live in hope.
Anyway, if you don't want a confrontation and they are loud and aggressive can I suggest calling the police anonymously. You have no idea of the damage being done to one or the other, but there's at least one child in there.

No I wouldn’t text.

It’s done and texting will do nothing for your sons sleep now.

If it happens again, then I would consider texting whilst it’s happening or knocking on the wall/door.

Gently, I doubt they will care about your sons sleep pattern.

If you think the shouting is getting too much, then call the non emergency police who will go and have a chat to them.
They will be a bit embarrassed and will hopefully keep it down in the future and it may knock some sense into them about how they can’t continue the way they’re going.

If you think it’s getting aggressive then of course ring 999.

Women cannot be abusers?

@Notchangingnameagain agree
But obviously the previous poster believes a woman couldn't be the aggressor (ps anyone seen the documentary on Netflix , has also been on terrestrial tv before)

FFS don’t put this on a group chat. Have a word face to,face with them if necessary but - arguments aside - 8pm is unreasonable to expect silence next door.

What? What a ridiculous comment.

Only if hetero? Really do no other kind of relationships warrant support? Obviously there is no DV in lesbian/ gay relationships?!?!?

Maybe try the school group chat?!
No, not really. Speak to one or both of them and say they are disturbing you.

If it’s a heterosexual couple I would ask the woman what is going on, she may need some support.

If it’s really extreme then you ring 999. This is how loads of domestic violence gets reported- neighbours that are sick of the noise and are a bit worried.

Are you sure it’s not abuse? Because my ex would abuse me and scream and shout at me to the point where my neighbours had to observe when he was leaving to be able to come and knock to check I was ok. He somehow found out that my neighbour knocked (I think he had another neighbour he was friends with keep watch on me) and I got so much crap for my neighbour speaking to me.

so if it’s abuse and you put in the group chat, you don’t know if that’s a risk if it is abuse. Also, if it’s a group chat for all neighbours, I don’t see how this is fair to spread their business also. Have a private word, you’re obviously trying to embarrass them.

again, you don’t know the ins and outs, it’s not ideal living there but as stated, it could be an abusive relationship or just generally having their marriage break down is hard enough without other people making it harder

Not in the group chat. Ask one of them if everything is OK face to face, if they ask why then give them a vague answer, they will put two and two together that their arguments are so loud the neighbours are worried about them

Absolutely not a good idea.

Absolutely do not say anything at all in the group chat.

If you do anything then a quiet, private word with one of them will do.

Definitely do not put it on a group chat. How embarrassing would that be!!! How about you take a more caring approach and ask if all is okay and do it face to face. I think the noise is the least of the things to be worried about.

Should you send a message on the group chat about their arguments? Hell no.

Should you try and address it privately with the wife? Yes. Complete reasonable.

Certainly do not put it into the group chat. If you know them well enough maybe check with one of them is all ok. I feel sorry for their kids.