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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be hurt that my partner is taking Fridays off work, while I take Mondays?

87 replies

carlottavaldes · 18/11/2024 21:58

My partner and I are in ours 40s, childfree by choice, and we both work from home.

I don't work Mondays and haven't for the past 5 years. My partner recently decided that he's also going to go down to 4 days at work - and take Fridays off.

I feel hurt that he didn't decide to also take Mondays, so that we could have an extra day together. I like my Mondays, doing my own thing, so it's not like I'd want us to be joined at the hip, but it would've been nice to have the option of going for lunch together, or going away for the weekend with no pressure to get back before Monday.

He says he chose Fridays because he's going to play golf, on his own, and he doesn't want me to be a "golf widow", but that seems like a non reason, as he wouldn't be playing the entire day.

I know that separateness is as important as togetherness in relationships, and I have my own life, but I still feel hurt that we didn't even discuss which day he'd take off. AIBU?

OP posts:
doodleschnoodle · 18/11/2024 22:12

I do think it's weird it wasn't mentioned beforehand though, it's the kind of subject DH and I would talk about, not in an asking permission sense but just a life update kind of sense and we like to get the other's opinion on stuff.

TomatoSandwiches · 18/11/2024 22:12

Yabu.

doodleschnoodle · 18/11/2024 22:11

I think it sounds great, sorry! I imagine that you are able to spend a lot of time together as it's just the two of you, so some time of your own to pursue your own hobbies separately sounds bliss to me!

Iwrotethelyricstoaxlf · 18/11/2024 22:11

Hmm I’d love to have my day off by myself.

The other half WFH all the time so my day off doesn’t feel like a day off as I can’t just crank the tunes up and crack on with what I want to be doing.

So I think YABU

AhBiscuits · 18/11/2024 22:09

I think YABU. The best thing about 4 days is having a day to yourself.

Whatamitodonow · 18/11/2024 22:09

So he takes Monday off, plays golf, and you get pissed off because he isn’t spending time with you, going for lunch, weekends away etc.

he wants to do stuff he won’t do without you, and he wants to do it without feeling guilty that he should be spending your free day together.

seems reasonable to me.

Itisjustmyopinion · 18/11/2024 22:08

YABU. I think it’s quite healthy to have a day of your own to do your own hobbies if you have the luxury to do so and then your weekend can be quality time together

NewName24 · 18/11/2024 22:07

I think that's quite logical actually.

I mean, I think any big changes in your life should probably be discussed before they are made, but I think, particularly as you say I like my Mondays, doing my own thing, so it's not like I'd want us to be joined at the hip having different days to do your own thing isn't strange or unreasonable.

Rugbyballhead · 18/11/2024 22:07

It would have been nice if he had talked it through with you first, yes.
I do understand him wanting to go and play golf on a Friday while you're at work though. It does mean you'd actually be spending more time together if he would otherwise have played at the weekend.

Noseybookworm · 18/11/2024 22:07

I think it's fine for him to choose a Friday if that's what suits him. You have weekends and evenings together and presumably he could take a Monday off if you were to go away for the weekend.

maybein2022 · 18/11/2024 22:06

Gently, I think YABU. If you have no kids, presumably you spend lots of the weekend together? I think it’s fine- and if I had no kids I’d LOVE a day just for me! I wouldn’t overthink this one OP.

OolongTeaDrinker · 18/11/2024 22:05

You've had a day to yourself for the past 5 years, and he's probably seen how much that enhances your life so is doing the same himself. I don't see the problem here - you still have the weekends together and he gets to play golf without impacting your life..

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