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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be hurt that my partner is taking Fridays off work, while I take Mondays?

87 replies

carlottavaldes · 18/11/2024 21:58

My partner and I are in ours 40s, childfree by choice, and we both work from home.

I don't work Mondays and haven't for the past 5 years. My partner recently decided that he's also going to go down to 4 days at work - and take Fridays off.

I feel hurt that he didn't decide to also take Mondays, so that we could have an extra day together. I like my Mondays, doing my own thing, so it's not like I'd want us to be joined at the hip, but it would've been nice to have the option of going for lunch together, or going away for the weekend with no pressure to get back before Monday.

He says he chose Fridays because he's going to play golf, on his own, and he doesn't want me to be a "golf widow", but that seems like a non reason, as he wouldn't be playing the entire day.

I know that separateness is as important as togetherness in relationships, and I have my own life, but I still feel hurt that we didn't even discuss which day he'd take off. AIBU?

OP posts:
Bunniemalone · 18/11/2024 22:45

Yes it should have been discussed. However sounds perfect to me, I used to have Friday's, DH had Tuesdays. Then we could each do our own thing. Id have been furious if he'd hijacked my day to myself.

Thecatspjymas · 18/11/2024 22:45

I have Fridays off and DH doesn't... I'd hate it if he did 🤣

BertieBotts · 18/11/2024 22:42

This sounds great - you get Saturday and Sunday together, each have a day totally to yourself and 4 days at work.

I think you are being a little bit U :) Did you discuss your Monday off with him?

steff13 · 18/11/2024 22:42

Are you not both off Saturday and Sunday?

TenderChicken · 18/11/2024 22:40

YABU, It sounds wonderful to have a day that no one is going to intrude upon (even people you like!)

Skepticgal · 18/11/2024 22:40

I would prefer this, two days together, a day each to do your own thing. Sounds ideal to me.

EveryOtherNameTaken · 18/11/2024 22:38

Sounds ideal to me. If you don't have kids, you get 2 days together at the weekend and one each of your own.

Abracadabra12345 · 18/11/2024 22:35

Alalalala · 18/11/2024 22:28

Well, you have no kids, both work at home, so are in each others space a great deal - it’s really healthy he can have his alone day. It will probably help your relationship continue on in a positive vein.

That's what I thought. How much more in each other's space can you be - BOTH working from home. (Ye gods, how the world has changed since I worked in an office, TG wfh wasn't a thing when my DH was at work 😱 lol (old person's grumble))

Good for him to show that actually HE needs his own space and hobby, just as you've been doing, and you have lunchtimes and breakfast time and dinners and Saturdays and Sundays..so much time to be together

JustinThyme · 18/11/2024 22:33

I can understand why you’d be hurt. However, it’s still a win - you each get to do what you like in your respective days off.

Ponderingwindow · 18/11/2024 22:32

I also wouldn’t choose Monday as my day off because of bank holidays.

ReadWithScepticism · 18/11/2024 22:31

If it was me, I would feel very relieved that his extra workfree day was different from mine. In fact, I would have felt furious and intruded-on if he was suddenly at home on 'my' workfree day.

Your arrangement seems to offer the best of both worlds: two proper weekend days together, and a day each for the 'me myself I' celebrated by Joan Armatrading.

Alalalala · 18/11/2024 22:28

Well, you have no kids, both work at home, so are in each others space a great deal - it’s really healthy he can have his alone day. It will probably help your relationship continue on in a positive vein.

MyJadeFinch · 18/11/2024 22:26

I have to admit it’s nice to have a little space sometimes! Nice to have time together but also to potter around on their own. Friday makes sense to take off too. Sounds like a great idea for both of you to have this opportunity.

I have a couple of hours to myself one day a week when DC is in daycare and I’m not working. I really enjoy being alone for a bit (but am usually doing errands for some of it). Understandably some people have personalities where they feel recharged being with people. Not me, but everyone is different so no right or wrong there.

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 18/11/2024 22:26

TwinklyAmberOrca · 18/11/2024 22:21

YABU!

Separate days sounds fab. Enjoy the ME time then you'll appreciate each other even more at the weekend.

I'd be SO pissed off if my DH had the same day off as me in that scenario!

Absolutely this

TunipTheVegimal24 · 18/11/2024 22:24

I'm so envious of both of you! Four days working, two together, one for yourself - how lovely!

If I was in position re feeling jealous, I'd probably want to make sure my day off, was better than his day off though 😉

betterangels · 18/11/2024 22:22

SatansBobbleheadedDashboardOrnament · 18/11/2024 22:19

Sounds like a really good idea to me. Not having a day to yourself to just unwind and think probably fucks up a lot of relationships.

Agree. I think it's a good idea. You still have the weekend if you want to do things together.

TwinklyAmberOrca · 18/11/2024 22:21

YABU!

Separate days sounds fab. Enjoy the ME time then you'll appreciate each other even more at the weekend.

I'd be SO pissed off if my DH had the same day off as me in that scenario!

OriginalUsername2 · 18/11/2024 22:20

Sounds like the perfect set-up to me!

SatansBobbleheadedDashboardOrnament · 18/11/2024 22:19

Sounds like a really good idea to me. Not having a day to yourself to just unwind and think probably fucks up a lot of relationships.

ComtesseDeSpair · 18/11/2024 22:18

You can go for lunch together on Saturdays and Sundays; and realistically, how often are you likely to take spontaneous long weekends away that one of you using a day of annual leave for it wouldn’t work just as well?

Sometimes it’s just nice to have time - and the house - alone to yourself to do anything you want or nothing in, without having to think about what your partner wants. Its a different dynamic to a day off at the same time. I don’t think it’s wrong of him at all to feel this way. A “discussion” would have been pointless really: you’d have made it clear you wanted him to take Mondays off.

pictoosh · 18/11/2024 22:15

Oh my...one day a week to yourself, what a rare and wonderful luxury.
Think yabu.

Onelifeonly22 · 18/11/2024 22:15

he may find it less stressful to take Fridays off as often work is less busy and he will probably find more people to join him to play golf. I used to have a day off and moved it from Monday to Friday as I felt I was starting the week off on the wrong foot. 2 days off together and one to do your own thing sounds ideal!

TheDowagerCountessofPembroke · 18/11/2024 22:14

Years ago we both worked in various jobs where we both had Sunday and one other day off. We made certain to have different days off. We now both work in, not only, a Monday to Friday job, but education so we both have exactly the same time off. I’d love a day on my own.

ThinWomansBrain · 18/11/2024 22:14

Fridays more sensible - gets to chose when to take Bank Holiday time.

roastiepotato · 18/11/2024 22:13

It's fine you have Saturday and Sunday together??

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