AIBU to be hurt that my partner is taking Fridays off work, while I take Mondays?

How do you get more days off if you don’t work mondays?

if you don’t work on a Friday, on the bank holiday week you would get the Monday and the Friday off.

if you don’t work on a Monday and get the day in lieu off (and say book it for the Friday), you would get the Monday and the Friday off too?

He wants some space and that's okay! You've enjoyed your own space and he'd like that too. If you wanted the same day off you could discuss with him that maybe your day moves to Friday but have stipulations he can go play golf and you generally leave each other be on a Friday so you both get space! No pressure for lunch out etc (do that on a weekend) but you can still wake up together a bit more relaxed if you both have day off and then go about your own thing.

But honestly maybe the Monday and Friday set up is good for you both. If you are both WFH and spend all weekend together space might be what you need. Distance makes the heart grow fonder my Mum used to say!

Good for you OP.
Enjoy it all and each other. xx

Good response OP. I've been planning to drop a day, Friday (but I take your point about Mondays)....and dh was a bit upset when I suggested he didn't need to drop a Friday too.

Glad you've seen the light OP! I've had a day off in the week for years but my partner wfh / for himself so we have the option to be flexible if he's not snowed under. Rarely use it though. I like being able to do my own thing. Now my children are grown up, I book lots of meet ups with friends. And sometimes just chill out at home doing whatever I feel like. I feel no guilt for not doing chores unless I want to, since we also have the weekends to catch up. I just like time to myself with no obligation to others (having not had it for years).

Oh my god. A thread unicorn when OP takes YABU on a chin and is reasonable!

Good on you OP! Like really!

I wonder if it is partly a work requirement - and that Monday is not an option.

Also Friday may work better from a golf perspective in terms of other players being available then.

I'd say he has chosen this day purely from a practical point of view, certainly not to avoid you!!! If you feel that you don't spend enough quality time together, I would raise that, but as a separate issue.

Ha ha. We have this exact situation, but I'm pleased. I don't work Mondays. Dh last week said he is dropping down to 4 days, he'll take Friday. I'm thrilled. For him. We spend plenty of time together anyway. This'll mean we also get our own free time.

I love dh deeply, but I would be a bit horrified if I had become used to having a day to use as I see fit and suddenly he was always there too.

You can love someone a great deal but still need time to yourself. Not everything has to be couply.

YABU

Yeah, I think it's weird too. I can't imagine me having Mondays off, (and working Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday,) and DH, working Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday... and then him deciding to drop to 4 days too, but having Fridays off! (When I'm at work all day.)

It doesn't seem very couply. It suggests he wants a lot of time on his own. He sounds like a typical golfing man. They are really selfish. Even when/if you go on to have children, he will still want his 12-16 hours a week of golfing.

I'm definitely going against the grain here ... I think it's really odd that he's dropped to 4 days and is picking a different day off to his wife. That really suggests it's not a very close relationship to me. If my. husband did this, I'd question the marriage to be honest.

YANBU @carlottavaldes I would be hurt too. It makes sense to have the same day off together. As you say, you can both do your own thing on that day sometimes, and do stuff together other times. My DH and I have the same days off. Well, I work Monday and Tuesday, and he works, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and every second Thursday - so 3.5 days a week. So every other week we get Thursday and Friday together. And on the alternate weeks we get Thursday afternoon and Friday together (as well as Saturday and Sunday of course.)

It would never occur to either of us to have different days off.

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YANBU @carlottavaldes

YANBU @carlottavaldes

You get one day each to do your own thing, 2 days together and 3 working if you want a weekend away book a holiday.....as most bank holidays are a Monday I'd choose Friday too.

Separate days sounds totally fine to me. You've had Mondays off to yourself for all these years.

YABU.

Maybe he didn’t mention it to you because he knew what you response would be and he was avoiding an argument

some people like to have time to themselves, it has nothing to do with how they feel about others

don’t over think it and enjoy your days to yourself to do just as you please

YABU you've enjoyed 5 years of Mondays to yourself. Friday is the superior day to have off and he wants this day to himself guilt free.

No I’m with you op! Dh works 4 days a week and if I went down to 4 I’d be having the same day as him.

YABU & extremely controlling behaviour on your part.

I think YABU - he'll have 4 days working, 2 weekend days to spend with you, and 1 day to himself (as you've had for the last few years). Seems like a nice balance to me - you'll have the same amount of quality time together as you do now, only he also gets the benefit of a day to himself!

If it was going to be the only day a week you'd see each other I'd say you were right, but you live together, both WFH, don't have kids - presumably you see a LOT of each other and have plenty of quality time whenever you want it, including the evenings and weekends. Let the fella have a day to himself.

Yabu

God it sounds ideal! Each got a day to yourself, 2 days together at the weekend. Perfect!

PS, if you want a weekend away, you can always do a 4-day one now and only use one day of holiday each - sounds perfect.

Plus, one other issue with taking Monday as a regular day off is what your contract says about bank holidays. It might be that yours says something different to his. There are four bank holidays in the UK which always take place on a Monday, and only one Friday (Good Friday). So Monday as a regular day off is a little bit worse than Friday for that reason.