AIBU to be hurt that my partner is taking Fridays off work, while I take Mondays?

I can just imagine the thread If he'd chosen Mondays too "AIBU to want to murder my dh, he's taken over my lovely peaceful solo day"

I think it's fine. I personally would much prefer a day to myself than a day off with DH. It would be more enjoyable and refreshing to have a whole day alone than another day doing things with DH. No offence to DH (I love him and I love being with him) but I get no time to myself. Time alone is precious and valuable and I understand his reasoning of not wanting you to be a golf widow. Let him enjoy it and don't guilt trip him.

I work PT and have Mondays off- I would be miffed if my DH started having the same day off 😂 I like having time to do my own thing.

I think the problem here is that it wasn't discussed. Had you both talked about it, he would have suggested it with the reasons why, you would have gone through discussing the pros and cons to each of you, and then you would have come to a conclusion, which I'm sure would be him taking Fridays off because you would have understood why it was the best option. That way you wouldn't be feeling how you do now and having to ask advice. So I think talk to him about it to understand his thinking.

I have Wednesday and hubby has Friday.
We both like a day to chill, do our own thing and then have the weekends together.

Late to the party on this one but I totally agree about having a different day off. DH has a Wednesday off for childcare reasons and kept it like that long after we needed childcare, as an aside on a 4 day week Wed is a great day to have as you are never more than 2 days from a day off.

Now we are both retired we’ve just booked a cottage for a holiday in January. We are going to have half a week each with a day together in the middle.

OP means she gets that proportion of the BH allowance added to her leave to take another day. It’s quite good if you’re part time to take Monday off then you get to use your share of bank holidays whenever you want.

I think let him have his own day off alone and be happy for him!

My time to myself is so so precious. I would be so enraged if DP wanted to muscle in on that!! We both work part time and generally I do my own thing on a Tuesday morning and a Friday morning. Its my sacred time for myself and I love it. We see enough of each other in the evenings and weekends. We also go on separate short break holidays. I love time together but I am a person who needs a fair bit of space too.

YABVU.

They get given back to you on pro rata basis so you can take the holiday when you want, not forced into the bank holiday. I loved not working Mondays

I think you’ll enjoy each others company more for having your own time apart. It’s good for you. Pre DC DH spent a lot of time together (moved abroad). We have less time by ourselves now and really value it.

Yeah, I think it's weird too. I can't imagine me having Mondays off, (and working Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday,) and DH, working Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday... and then him deciding to drop to 4 days too, but having Fridays off! (When I'm at work all day.)
It doesn't seem very couply. It suggests he wants a lot of time on his own. He sounds like a typical golfing man. They are really selfish. Even when/if you go on to have children, he will still want his 12-16 hours a week of golfing.
I'm definitely going against the grain here ... I think it's really odd that he's dropped to 4 days and is picking a different day off to his wife. That really suggests it's not a very close relationship to me. If my. husband did this, I'd question the marriage to be honest.

Yet you are the only person amongst the 74 replies, who thinks that.

Being married to someone doesn't mean you have to be joined at the hip. The OP and her dh already both work at home together all week, and already spend evenings and weekends together.
I think people having their own space, and own interests is a lot healthier than being "couply" {shudder} 24/7.
It is nothing to do with being "a typical golfing man" as everyone else on this thread has also said they would prefer some time off separate from their dh, and only one of those people has said they play golf.

I work compressed hours over 4 days (Mon-Thu). DH works Saturdays so I have two days to myself ,and I love having that time to potter about. We have Sundays off together.

He has a midweek day off and I always make sure I'm in the office that day rather than WFH, so he can enjoy a day of pottering, too.

This is what happens when two extreme introverts live together. We love the bones of each other but we're even antisocial within our marriage 😅

I would be hurt that there was no prior discussion. But otherwise my preference would be offset days off if you have weekends together

YABU he wants a day to himself - like you’ve had for years.

YABU. You have had 5 years of a day a week to yourself, why should he also have a day a week to himself? If you did have the same day off how soon before you say he can’t do golf etc etc as you want to lunch!

leave him be

Why would he feel guilty though. That's weird. It would make way more sense to me to both have the same day off. Do your own thing sometimes but then you have the opportunity to have long weekends away sometimes too.

No one has to feel guilty for doing things in their own.

On the other side it's nice if you have different days off so each can do a bit more domestic drudgery and have dinner ready on that day for the other. Golf doesn't take up the whole day as you say OP so he and you could use a couple of hours each on your days off to do some domestic chores so your weekends are free. I'm pretty sure you do this anyway

YABU.

We do this for childcare reasons, but even so it's really nice to have a separate day each with our son and not have to worry about what works for everyone.

He can book a day off with you if he wants.

A hobby day is a great idea - it will clash LESS with your life!

I’d be really annoyed if I dropped a day and dh promptly dropped the same day. I’d be like ‘you had better go out a lot!! I didn’t drop a day at work to have other people in the house!!’

I play golf regularly on a particular day of the week because it’s when the women’s competitions run. It does take most of the day - I get there at least half an hour early to warm up and meet up with my playing partners, then up to 4 hours to go round, then a drink and chat afterwards as the other groups come in. I think it’s quite sensible for your DH to do this on a day when you’re at work. The alternative is for him to play first thing and go straight home, which does mean him missing out on the social aspect of the game, or to play at the weekend, which is more disruptive in my experience.

It suggests he'd like 8 hours of time to spend as he wishes, not that he wants 'a lot of time on his own'. They still have all their evenings and the weekend together - I don't think a marriage that would require you to spend all of your free time together, especially when you already have plenty, would be particularly healthy tbh. When do you and your DH get time to do your own thing, hobbies, just generally having some time alone!?

That sounds amazing! I'd love a day to just go for a mooch or do what I want with zero pressure on having someone else in the house

If he did he’d be at golf whilst u sat at home!

Yes, give the man a little breathing space here! You say you can feel easily rejected but he's your husband so he's there by choice woman!