Grandparents say it’s too expensive to have Grandchildren to stay

Why are they having your children to stay, @Overtherainbow89 ? Do they ask you for this to start? Do you ask them? How many days at a time/how often?

Who says she can't be arsed to look after them?

It depends on the purpose of the visit...if it is for childcare, why dont you offer to pay any expenses for the visit as it is grandparents preference to take them out . I remember when mine were small, it was easier in some ways to have them out and about doing stuff and I can see why in this weather grandparents may not want to do outdoorsy activities

If the visit is to spend time together, just invite the grandparents round to yours, where your kids have all of their toys and belongings and can spend time with grandparents without the pressure of them feeling like they have to entertain them

Grandparents financial situation and holidays is totally irrelevant...they obviously dont want to spend money on this and feel it is too expensive

It's not about the money. They're saying they don't want to do it. Perhaps they find it too hard.
How long and how often are the DGC staying with them?
Can't you ask for shorter bouts of babysitting if they're up for having them stay?

Another 'I'm going to post and fuck-off' post

OP do you provide any money for them to go out and do stuff? How often do they have your kids?

This. They have said no. You do not get a say. The context wasn't at all relevant. Put them in paid for childvcarE.

Can you provide lots of colouring pencils, paper, games, lego etc for them to do at GPs.

This! Or I at least offered to pay - my offer was always declined but there was no way I'd be expecting my parents to foot the bill for taking my kids out when they're already doing me a favour with free childcare.

I paid for all outings when my parents had my kids. The free childcare was enough for me.

I'm going to also say it's probably not just the money.

It could be (a combination of)
their behaviour at GP's home if they're e.g. unused to entertaining themselves quietly without a screen.
GP's genuinely finding everything more expensive now the Dc are getting older and wanting to do more expensive activities. Do the DC have similar interests?
GP's no longer want to drive in the dark and going out for the day invariably means returning home in the dark.
GP's feeling like they ought to be doing fun stuff when e.g. baking would suffice.
GP's not wanting their morning routine to be disturbed.
They genuinely don't want to because the DC's are too tiring.

If you see grandparentiñg as a responsibility then you should expect them to have rights too. They shouldn't be micro managed and told exactly what to do. It's more like a communal upbringing.

In my culture that's how it is. Children are seen and Children of the extended family and anyone can tell your child off. In the UK, grandparents are expected to stfu and the kids will be kept from them at any minor infraction. You can't have it both ways.

I guess they worry about having to entertain them or else they may be messing around or play on screens all day. I don’t blame them. Do you offer to pay? They raised their kids and now want their free time which is fair enough.

Why should we have thoughts about it?. It is their perogative. Why are you trying to force them to do what you want?. They have told you what they are comfortable with!

It sounds like they don't want your children, which is fair enough. If you need to rely on them, have an adult conversation, tell them you're in a bind and would appreciate help, ask them what their boundaries are (eg number of hours etc) and offer to pay what you can. At the moment it sounds like relying on them for free childcare and tbh, they're within their rights to say no to that for any reason

Can you give them some money for a few days out? Assume they are going whilst you work? Obviously you don’t want to give too much or you could just pay holiday care, but enough for a few soft play entrance etc. They probably struggle with them indoors all day, kids get bored.

It's a big ask to expect older people to have children to stay as a right. I think you should respect their decision just to have them in the warmer weather. I agree that it's very probably just about money. How long are these visits.

How long are you wanting the GPs to have them for? Tea after school once or twice a week or whole days and nights and full on childcare?

Your comment about holidays and not being on the breadline is rather scornful, they don’t have to justify their holiday to you. The reason they’ve given sounds like an attempt at a tactful excuse and that there’s more to it. Also could the behaviour of the children be a factor?

Maybe they’re just not up to it and you’re pushing for too much

It’s their way of saying they don’t want to. They are willing to tolerate a few days in the summer only.

It’s a shame but I would stop asking them.

Probably just don't want to do it, which is their perogative. It's arrogant to assume they want to care for their grandchildren not everyone enjoys having their grandchildren left with them all day / every week / at night.

Presumably as grandparents either you or the father of the children know them well enough to know whether this is an excuse or not.

I think the OP was genuinely giving context about money and nothing more.

My MIL was in her early 50’s when her first set of grandkids were born and she was very hand on (FIL still worked very long shifts). By the time mine came along she was in her 70’s. It would be very unreasonable imo to ask her to take them for me for a few days. She’s a great granny, she doesn’t have to provide childcare to be a good grandmother and I wouldn’t resent her having help just because she didn’t babysit for me.

They don’t want to do it, respect that.

How many times or where they holiday is none of your business, they can give all their money to a cats home it is nothing to do with you

I presume you don't want to pay for childcare or want 'time off' otherwise what would your problem be?

OP, why do you need your children to stay at their grandparents' and how long is a typical stay?

Converse with your parents about whether they find looking after the kids in Winter more challenging for other reasons too.
Listen and learn their issues.

Offer to pay (generously) for extra entrance fees, library, pool memberships, hot chips and food when out.
Make a list of free things to do indoors within 5 miles of their home.
Train your children to play quiet indoor games and to independently read chapter books, knit, crochet, draw, write stories and enjoy puzzles.

Send them to your parents with books, craft kit, jigsaw puzzle etc.
Send the kids with a box of food for their pantry including a couple of packet cakes and eggs.
Remind them that indoor running and shouting is never an option

Your parents would find it tiresome to entertain kids who are cooped up inside on rainy, cold days.

Apart from discussing cost and things to do, inquire whether they'd like a break from child care altogether in Winter, or rather the kids stay for half the time etc.

Be prepared for honest answers and to be flexible.