to have not lost my rag at ward sister

I have just read this properly, I am absolutely gobsmacked that you have insinuated I would harm patients. I would be more careful about what you write on here if I were you, that is absolutely insane! If you actually knew me, you would be very embarrassed.

There's some righteous arseholes on this thread and the OP isn't one of them.

Are you a young man? That would go some way towards explaining your general attitude, and why you're unable to understand the nuances of being a small vulnerable distressed female in precarious situation with someone holding power over you.

Oh FGS, OP, you sound like an arsehole. You're the one close to losing the rag at someone, not the PP you're referring to. You're the dangerous one in this situation if you were considering flying oof the handle, and cane on here wanting praise for not doing so?! Most of us can keep our tempers no problem, and we don't blame "being a small vulnerable woman" for any anger problems.

We were in A&E for over 24 hours after my partner had an accident, and on informing the staff he was diabetic, they offered sandwiches and tea once they’d established he would not need surgery. Most vending machines in hospital only offer sweets and drinks - not really suitable.

And if he's elderly/diabetic vending machine options might not be suitable
E. G. MIL had to have a soft diet after her stroke and would have been unable to swallow anything from a vending machine without choking.

Given his issues she may well have been advised not to until he'd been evaluated and I don't know if you've ever tried to find food in a hospital outside public restaurant opening hours but it's usually crisps or a chocolate bar if the vending machine is actually working which it often isn't. Or it takes cash/card only and as you've come out in an emergency you only have card/cash.

He hadn't eaten for 20 hours and they said they would get him some food.

Did you not get him anything to eat in 20 hours? Why on earth not? You wouldn't even get him something from a vending machine? Why?

Distress/ anxiety/ fear/ neuro diversity and MH problems can cause people to lose the ability to filter or maintain social customs
Nurses are trained to empathise and understand, to deescalate and treat with compassion.
This was appalling, bullying and she's the ward sister.
Look at the NMC guidelines

The nurse was being rude to you. How dare she say that to you. I’d complain about her reception of you. You’re not at school. She’s not in charge of you. What a nasty piece of work she is. Keep a check on how she does her job

@WriteAPaperNow I wonder if some people aren't even bothering to read the title properly and think it says "lost my rag" rather than "not lost my rag"?

Some people - probably those who have never been on the receiving end of very poor treatment or watched a love one endure it - also seem to idolise the NHS a bit. But it's an organisation made up of humans, some wonderful, some awful, lots in between, just like any other group of people on the planet.

Do you really believe what you are saying?

The OP was tired and worried and asked a nurse where her dad was, without a smiling hello. Did that justify a professional saying, "what happened to hello, didn't your parents teach you any manners?"’

I would be furious if my resident doctors spoke to any relative like that and it would be discussed robustly in supervision. I would call the relative and apologise. It’s also a personal question that has the potential to upset; people whose parents have died, were abusive etc.

I can’t believe how many people think this nurse was reasonable.

If this was considered rude by the nurse, I dread to think how she would cope in A and E or similar environments. She would be delivering sermons to every drunk person that crossed the threshold.

Distress doesn't have to mean rudeness. Saying hello whilst making eye contact before asking for a service is what we teach toddlers. People should also do the same in shops.

Saying hello (and OP does think she said hi) is ideal but it's very far from rude or abusive. It's certainly not the place of hospital staff to pull up another adult for it.
OP also had the sense and grace to apologise simply to diffuse the situation and get to her ill dad, so she's clearly not a rude or argumentative person.
But shame on that nurse.

I was a nurse forr 25 years and I recently lost my shit in hospital after being totally neglected for my whole stay an treated like a piece of meat. I put a formal complaint in too.

TheTidyBear, expert are you?

so sorry to hear this. We had a similar experience with my 87 year old father in law. Left in a corridor on a trolley all night with blood dripping from his knee. Asked for a sandwich as he is diabetic and got shouted at. Picked him up to go home and was shocked at the corridor full of mainly old people on trolleys in various states of undress just left to it really.
nothing surprises me either.

That woman was a bully to a distressed relative, it's inexcusable behaviour and I'm glad OP will be putting in a complaint
Distress doesn't have to mean rudeness. Saying hello whilst making eye contact before asking for a service is what we teach toddlers. People should also do the same in shops.

Sadly people have become so self centered nowadays, feeling that they are the most important person in their environment and that their needs is above those of everyone else, too many have forgotten what good manners are. That nurse only tried to remind OP of it.

That really says it all if you think this is comparable. Nurses looked after your dad, they are not there to sell you merchandise so the company can make a profit. You are not nurses'patient, let alone customer.

You've got this completely backwards. People visiting a shop are not going to be distressed, frightened, exhausted or bereaved, all the states of mind likely in hospitals.
That woman was a bully to a distressed relative, it's inexcusable behaviour and I'm glad OP will be putting in a complaint.

Why would it be a joke? Other people are entitled to be in A&E regardless of the cause of their illness.

It's people just like you that get too many nurses saying they love their job but can't deal with the public who treat them like they are servants.

That's interesting, in my customer facing role I don't take it personally when someone asks me a question without saying hello
That really says it all if you think this is comparable. Nurses looked after your dad, they are not there to sell you merchandise so the company can make a profit. You are not nurses'patient, let alone customer.

You were rude, treating her like she was there to serve you. Good on her for putting you right. It sounds like you fully deserve it.

As for the rest yes the NHS is on its knees and have more important things to do in A&E but to serve dinners when their family members are there with them. Didn't you know?

I don't actually think that failure to say Hello is treating someone like crap. In most cases, in a stressful situation it just doesn't appear on people's radar.

Not only is it incredibly rude and unprofessional but also its an abuse of power and trust.
Patients and visitors are often vulnerable, even if it's temporary and its the worst type of power imbalance/ abuse.
Hey you know this as a doctor but it really upsets me if I witness it, it cuts deep
38 years in the NHS and counting !