to have not lost my rag at ward sister

I hated the clapping. My family and friends were banned from doing so ;-) It made me cringe so much. So performative and meaningless. It was a horrendous time but we were just doing our jobs.

Exactly. People were clapping 4 years ago- people have short memories.
Honestly if you've got time to complain about a less than friendly greeting from a nurse you need to find a hobby.

Never once clapped, that was a fucking stupid thing to do.

As a doctor who remains professional, polite and kind, despite how stressed I sometimes feel inside, and who works with colleagues who are thankfully mostly the same, I have zero tolerance of rude hcps.

We are not heroes or saints. We have chosen a job in a caring industry that requires us to be polite and professional and have empathy for others. We should also not have to tolerate abusive behaviour, but there are other ways of managing that than being rude back.

If a member of staff has been rude like the nurse in the OP, please complain. It’s only through complaints that the message can get through to some people.

Some of the stories here make me furious for patients and relatives. I don’t feel remotely annoyed or defensive of the nhs when I read these. Because I know that I deliver good care and the criticism is not aimed at me personally. Any hcp defending this kind of behaviour should leave their role.

Why shouldn’t patients complain about rude nurses and doctors? As a hospital consultant, I cannot bear rude and unkind and unprofessional behaviour in colleagues.

I have worked in the NHS for 30 years and would never behave like that nurse did. Do you think it’s acceptable to give rude patronising lectures to relatives? I hope we never work together.

Your flippant reply shows how little you understand about the NHS. You did that for one day for a relative- you want thanks for that?

She probably just wants a bit of courtesy and kindness from the staff.

Nurses do it day in & out for people they don't know from Adam. Honestly you are in danger of losing any moral high ground you might have had ..

That's really kind of them to do that for free. Or are they paid, because it's, you know, their job? And might it perhaps not be as emotionally harrowing and stressful for them because it's not their own elderly parent they are dealing with?

Your flippant reply shows how little you understand about the NHS. You did that for one day for a relative- you want thanks for that?

Nurses do it day in & out for people they don't know from Adam. Honestly you are in danger of losing any moral high ground you might have had ..

From reading AIBU, it's clear that a percentage of people are complete sociopaths.

No you hadn't. What a ridiculous statement.

I think it's a fair statement actually. I mean unless you want to ignore everything OP has been through because it inconveniences you putting the boot in.

I had done an 18 hour unpaid shift in an A&E corridor

No you hadn't. What a ridiculous statement.

Exactly. People were clapping 4 years ago- people have short memories.
Honestly if you've got time to complain about a less than friendly greeting from a nurse you need to find a hobby.

That nurse was probably on shift for 12-13 hours, maybe not had a drink or eaten or had a break. Probably has ignored the need for toilet breaks. The ward is probably short staffed, under resourced. High levels of very dependent, confused patients needing total care. Sh*tty salary and abusive patients, family members and the public. They do this day in & day out.

The levels of aggression towards NHS staff is off the scale. So forgive me if you've got hurty feelings by someone being a bit brusque.
Trust me- it is HELL in the NHS at the mo. Be grateful she even showed up for work.

Well, if you look at some of the experiences described by quite a few posters it isn't unreasonable. Feel free to look at just my posts for several appalling examples.

Yanbu to feel stressed, tired and on your last nerve. Yanbu to not necessarily feel like saying a friendly hello to the ward sister.
However, your fathers long wait was unlikely to be her doing, and the man coughing and the person with mental health problems are not her fault either, nor anyone’s really, these are symptoms of an NHS on its knees.
Perhaps the nurse felt you were rude and abrupt, but her comment was still over the top. It wouldn’t have hurt her to remember that many people visiting the hospital are stressed in some way, and have some compassion. There was no need to snap at you like that.
I hope your dad feels better soon and you get some rest!

I am so sorry- I hope your father gets well.
I know exactly how you feel my 92 year old dad got admitted to hospital (Leighton Hospital Crewe- you are a disgrace)
When I got there (I was overseas with work)- his carers had called the ambulance- he had been waiting some hours I got him food and a hot drink, it was December and he was so cold. We waited 12 hours before he was triaged then he was put on a bed in an assessment area - no blankets. I got him blankets and ended up putting my coat over him. He was admitted and immediately caught norovirus from the ward and became delirious.
I asked a nurse about making decisions for him and he said (laughing!) "do not worry he is on DNR!
There was not a single time I visited him when he was not soak in urine or sitting in his shit. He got put in a side ward and urine bottle were placed on an windowsill out of his reach- he was on diuretics for his heart.
It was brutal
He eventually died of covid contracted in hospital.
There was no care, no compassion, nothing

Why on earth would it be a joke that sick people are in a hospital? sorry you are not the center of the universe, that service exists for everyone even if you find them lesser and undesirable.

Mental health is one of the top level life or death 'emergency' conditions A&E deal with. It has at hospital level got far more risk of fatality and urgency than your dads fall.

With coughing you can't possibly know why, they could have asthma, lung failure, terminal cancer or a whole bunch of other once again high level urgent/fatal 'emergency' conditions.

A fall is a pretty standard and a non urgent 'accident' (unless he fell off the roof or it was caused by another more serious condition like a stroke or heart attack etc...) you will be seen by order of urgency and will share that space with others who also need help. Really you are lucky its not more far more serious, if he where high risk of dying you would unfortunately know.

Remember while it sucks your dad is uncomfortable and pained and that hospitals are miserable soul sucking spaces you are sharing that space with many people who unfortunately won't walk out of there again or will be having last moments with loved ones for many different reasons you aren't privvy too.

You can focus your concern on your dad but don't then shit on everyone else for existing and having their own needs.

Doubt that’s what she actually said and did reading the thread.

Regardless of what anyone posts on this godforsaken forum these days, there is an avalanche of responses from absolute baggages out for a spat. I'd hate to be or to know any of you.

It was an awful situation and yes, the nurse was rude and patronising. Also, yes, as you already know, they are barely coping. Both things are true. I really hope you get some sleep and self care and that your dad picks up a bit.

Let's just say, I would have found it very hard to bite my tongue.

Being a nurse doesn't earn you some sort of VIP status that gives you the green light to act like a twat to other people.

I don't give a flying fig that someone works for the NHS, it doesn't make you a bloody saint, we really need to get past the "but they're all angels sent from heaven" mentality. Most of them aren't.

OP, you literally said 'Hi' and asked where your dad is. Idk how some posters are making an issue out of this. I'm a MH nurse in the community, but if I worked on a ward, I wouldn't expect family members to be stood around the desk making small talk. You were hardly being demanding. She was rude for no reason.

Hope your dad is well.