engagement ignoral

Though I admit I only clicked on the thread to find out what the OP meant by ‘ignoral’.

But unless the OP is continually checking in or monitoring her son and his fiancées’ conversations, surely it’s perfectly possible, if they all met together as the OP says, that her sister congratulated them then?

Though making it very clear her parents’ birthday present wasn’t also from her suggests she thinks the OP is a total pain for whatever reason, and wants nothing to do with her or her adult child. The OP herself acknowledges there’s a backstory.

When I got engaged I told my aunt myself I got engaged. I also posted it on Facebook which she doesn't have.

But if I wanted people specifically to know I told them personally (or via phone call)

If my nephew got engaged I'd expect him to tell me in person to get a congratulations or we'd do that when we next met up. But he is 12 so not likely to be soon!

I agree. I don't understand why you wouldn't congratulate a family member or friend at a happy moment in their lives. Really unusual.

This is an odd reaction to have- you wouldn't congratulate your own nieces and nephews for getting engaged? I genuinely cannot believe there are people out there like this

I don't think she likes me does she?

Well, I presume as she is your sister, you didn’t just meet her this morning and know far more about your relationship than anyone on here?!

no mum it's just a present from you and dad-nothing to do with me" Twice

I would have asked her if she had a problem!

It's definitely not normal in the UK to ignore. I'm from the UK and lived here all my life and that would be considered a very deliberate snub. Even if you don't do social media it takes two seconds to send a quick text.
I find all the people posting saying engagements are meaningless are really bizarre.

I'm Irish rather than British, it would definitely be the done thing for aunts and uncles to send congratulations on an engagement. But the back story does complicate things.

Just because she has Facebook/insta doesn’t mean she has to react to posts. This is exactly why I got rid of mine!

If sister is ignoring the engagement she's not likely to come to life over the wedding.

My bet is she's got the big hump about something and won't acknowledge or attend the wedding either.

So she’s jealous and immature… don’t stoop to her level. Just laugh at her. You’re both looking like teenagers tbh.

Why is it all centred around you? Why is your sister expected to “rise above” anything? If family and their opinion is important to him then why can’t DS message his aunt saying “Hi Aunt Susan, just wanted to let you know that Matilda and I got engaged last week! We’re very happy and excited for our wedding next year. Hope you’re well, all the best.”

If he hasn’t done that then perhaps your sister is a bit put out herself thinking that her nephew didn’t bother to tell him his news himself and she only heard it secondhand / on SM, and he isn’t fussed about her response. DS is an adult, if he’s disappointed and wants attention from people then he has to actively include them in his life.

Really it all sounds like a bit of a “me-rail” on your part. You and your sister don’t get along and you’re determined to turn this into another example of her failings.

This.

You have some good news with your son, exciting times and a great future for them to look forward to. Instead, you're focusing on feeling disappointed over her not congratulating them.
Everyone gets excited and looks forward to different things and in different ways even when there isn't a back story. Given the fact there is one I think you're expecting too much, especially since you could be focusing on your son and the exciting times ahead. Let it go.

I don't understand why you are letting this bother you. You are choosing to react in this way, no one else seems that bothered. You do realise that SM likes are meaningless anyway so why get worked up over it? Not everyone lives their lives on SM.

I’m saying this kindly, but why are you making it about you? It’s your son’s engagement and if he doesn’t mind, I’m not sure why you do?
If you are prone to making things about you or looking for slights against you where there are none, that could be a reason for her distancing herself slightly.

I don't think any of my aunts or my uncle congratulated me on my engagement. They did say they were looking forward to the wedding itself when I was discussing plans ect.

I think your overthinking this. Also not taking credit for a gift they had nothing to do with is not a sign of dislike.

It's brilliant. Start a trend!

Decline an invitation = issue a declinal. This could be followed by a change of mindal and an acceptal.

Maybe your sister doesn't feel the need to do acknowledgals?

Engagement is neither here nor there. It’s an intention to marry only. I would be upset if she didn’t congratulate on their wedding.

A backstory isn't surprising, but I'm afraid we can't really comment without it (and every chance you would be wise not to share if it's not your own story).

There are after all circumstances where others' happiness can hard to bear.

If they've only just got engaged maybe she's waiting for the wedding so she can congratulate them then? I have friends who just eloped or have insta-engagements and instaweddings and everything inbetween. Everyones different. Has she actually met them facetoface since the engagement was announced and not said anything? Or are you miffed because she's not sent them a card/gift/SM response?

Not sure why you think it's something to do with how she feels about you - unless there's a huge backstory here!