Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I have been seeing someone for a month he keeps telling me that he loves me & I don’t know how to tell him to take it a bit slower?

247 replies

SharpSnake · 18/11/2024 09:18

  • I have been dating someone for around a month now. We have met on two occasions. The first first was just a brief date over a drink or two.
  • We ended up meeting each other over the weekend, he invited me over to his place. I came on the Friday left on the Sunday.
  • We literally spent the time talking and getting to know each other more, the conversation was flowing non stop no awkward breaks or anything like that inbetween.
  • I think we have both had around 4 hours sleep over the past 2 days . We spent the time together just talking and have sex, when we was just lead in bed cuddling he telling me he loves me he mentioned this several times but I just let it blow over. He was also saying I’m full of him and he wants me to have his baby’s.
  • Every time he finished he told me that he is going to get me pregnant. I am no where ready for a child but he has said that multiple times to me now that he wants a baby and our own family together. What can I say to him please? I do really like him but I don’t want to rush into things, I have briefly mentioned this to him but I don’t think he acknowledges this.

( I am on contraception)

OP posts:
User364837 · 18/11/2024 09:55

All the red flags

Warning Watch Out GIF
EmeraldDreams73 · 18/11/2024 09:54

Oh God. Yuck. Run. Seriously.

Mumofnarnia · 18/11/2024 09:53

Omg op. If I’m reading this right you’ve only been dating this guy for ONE month, you have met twice in the space of that month, he is telling you he loves you after only the 2nd meet (and after only ONE month in), invited you over to his place for a SECOND DATE to spend a full weekend at his (jeez you’ve only met the guy briefly once) and let me guess - he wanted you over at his for a sex fest because he has no intentions of wining and dining you. You both had sex with only 4 hours sleep in between and now he’s telling you he wants to get you pregnant? Do your research on narcissistic dating op, all abusers start off by wanting to rush into a relationship, have kids, buy a house and say the L word from the get go! Run while you have the chance!

Nothatgingerpirate · 18/11/2024 09:49

DesertGecko · 18/11/2024 09:22

  • He was also saying I’m full of him and he wants me to have his baby’s.

🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮

Very glad I don't need to bother with men anymore.
(45 yo, long term married).
🤢
👍

BringMeTea · 18/11/2024 09:49

RUN from this absolute weirdo immediately.

CoffeeINeedCoffee · 18/11/2024 09:49

BLOCK!!!

OneBlackHeart · 18/11/2024 09:47

Love bombing you. Once you are trapped with a pregnancy his behaviour will likely change. Even if he stays gushing love it's not healthy this soon and even if he felt it a rational person would hold those comments in for longer than a date and a weekend together.

Run

ilovedogsme · 18/11/2024 09:45

Oh god no

EvenLess · 18/11/2024 09:43

Ew, he is a controlling weirdo OP. Throw him back!

SpringleDingle · 18/11/2024 09:42

RED FLAG ALERT

Throw this one back, he is a loon!

MissUltraViolet · 18/11/2024 09:42

Ewww, run.

Annabella92 · 18/11/2024 09:42

DesertGecko · 18/11/2024 09:22

  • He was also saying I’m full of him and he wants me to have his baby’s.

🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮

Exactly this ugh. I was going to cave and have some breakfast but I can skip it after reading that.

cheezncrackers · 18/11/2024 09:41

The trying to get you pregnant when you've only been on two dates is, quite frankly, really worrying too and quite possibly the actions of a scary and controlling man.

cheezncrackers · 18/11/2024 09:40

Red flag OP. Sounds like 'love bombing' to me.

DurinsBane · 18/11/2024 09:39

You only met him a month ago and you aren’t using condoms?

Noseybookworm · 18/11/2024 09:39

He doesn't love you, he's barely starting getting to know you! This is way too much too quickly and you should be running for the hills!

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 18/11/2024 09:38

He sounds bonkers. End it.

Whohasnickedthesellotape · 18/11/2024 09:37

Please end it. And fgs make sure contraception is definitely bullet proof.

Agree he's lovebombing and very probably a breeding kink. Does he already have DC? You cant be the first he's tried this line with!

OurChristmasMiracle · 18/11/2024 09:36

Kindly OP

throw him back, get an STI check and really consider whether you made a safe decision going to someone’s home who you’ve only met once. You sound very vulnerable and I am worried you could get yourself into very risky situations- I say this as someone who has done this so please don’t think k I’m judging you.

BodyKeepingScore · 18/11/2024 09:34

This would make my vagina close over.

There's no way I'd be giving this man any more of my time. He sounds insincere and gross.

BrunetteHarpy · 18/11/2024 09:32

pinkdelight · 18/11/2024 09:30

He was also saying I’m full of him and he wants me to have his baby’s.

UGH. He sounds like he has a breeding kink. Seriously. Some men get off on thinking their sperm is so powerful. You need to ditch this puke-inducer and RUN!

Yes, and tell me you used a condom, OP? In which case, you’re not in fact full of his super-strength sperm at all.

pinkdelight · 18/11/2024 09:30

He was also saying I’m full of him and he wants me to have his baby’s.

UGH. He sounds like he has a breeding kink. Seriously. Some men get off on thinking their sperm is so powerful. You need to ditch this puke-inducer and RUN!

KimberleyClark · 18/11/2024 09:30

Just run.

TipsyKoala · 18/11/2024 09:28

I had a relationship that started like this once, my first serious. I was very young and didn’t recognise the signs although I did feel uncomfortable, like you. He turned out to be very controlling and abusive. He’s in the love bombing stage. End it now.

GroovyChick87 · 18/11/2024 09:27

This would really concern me. It's like he's desperate to make you think he's a certain way when in reality he's probably the opposite. He could go controlling in the near future. This type of behaviour normally works on someone who's either young without much expert of dating or someone vulnerable. It's so unhealthy.