Would I be unreasonable to ask people to leave by a certain time on Christmas Day?

@Itsallfunngamesuntil i think that’s a very good message. I find it baffling anyone would consider getting rowdy drunk late into the night would be appropriate when someone has a new baby.

Sone people seem to have very little self awareness it seems

So guests are allowed to do whatever the fuck they like at your home are they?

Erm , I wouldn’t go as far as “whatever they want”- pissing up the walls wouldn’t be acceptable for example 😆. . But if I invited people for Christmas , I would expect them to eat, drink, be merry and stay as long as they were enjoying themselves. Thats my idea of being hospitable/ a good host/ looking after your guests. If I didn’t want to do that, I personally wouldn’t offer to host. I personally don’t think giving people a 9pm curfew is much in the spirit of Christmas.

@Threetrees745 - Would this whattasapp message work?

Hi Everyone

Not long now to Christmas – we are only about five weeks away! I am sure you are all busy buying cards, presents and stocking up in anticipation of the Christmas festivities.

This year, we are planning to eat lunch at 2.30pm, so please feel free to arrive any time between 1pm and 2pm. With wee Archie now on the scene I’m afraid we can no longer host as late as we have in the past, so we need to start winding down by 7pm.

Would you prefer to book your own taxis for around 6.45pm or, I am more than happy to arrange this? If I don’t hear back I will assume you have organised this yourselves.

Really looking forward to seeing all of you for Christmas Day.

Love the TheTrees
HO HO HO x

Yes, and I might want to shower, put pj's on and relax a bit once baby is asleep. An entire day of cooking/cleaning as you go/tending to baby and hosting and I'd be wrecked. 😵‍💫

I think a lot of people are missing the point here. It's not that OP wants to go to bed, she just wants her house back! To get things into order before bed, tidy up, maybe chill out in the living room after a busy day.

You're not unreasonable at all OP.

So guests are allowed to do whatever the fuck they like at your home are they? If they want to hold a pissed up rave until the early hours (even though you've got a new baby) that's cool with you, is it? The OP is hosting, she's doing a nice Christmas dinner for her ILs, her own parents and step son and is happy to continue hosting until around 8pm. She simply doesn't want them blast out loud music and get shit faced until midnight. Because of that you think she's a bad host? I would say that any grandparents who think this is acceptable behaviour are fucking awful guests. Jeez.

That sounds perfectly reasonable. Go for it!

Would it work? What I’ve found with my in-laws who don’t leave is that even when we specify an end time and explain why (for very real reason around health or work), they ignore it and we end up feeling awkward and pointing them to door. It has resulted in us inviting them less tbh.

OP, don't host. Go to your parents. Leave when you're tired and have a quiet evening st home. Visit in-laws next day and do same.

We are all different. We have spent the last 25 Christmases with just the 4 of us. Spending Christmas day with others would fill me with dread.

This is MN at least 1 adult must not drink incase of medical emergency or fire, flood or earthquake

Totally reasonable, and normal to me. Assuming all grandparents live relatively near by. We hosted every year, arrive late morning to see kids open some of their presents, lunch about 2, walk off lunch, play and so on, tea and Christmas cake at about five ‘before you head off’. And then the lovely bit of settling in for a quiet evening just us!
Manage expectations, you are hosting so your rules, but people do need the rules to be made clear.

I would be hospitable Cooking xmas dinner for everyone IS hospitable.

Actually, it seems like the OP is only one being hospitable at all here since she is the one doing it every year. If they want to drink until late there is nothing stopping them from hosting - I wonder why they never offer to be "hospitable" eh?

What is this? 😳

She’s “allowed” to do whatever she wants of course. But it’s Christmas, and if I were hosting I would be hospitable ; if I wasn’t prepared to do that, I wouldn’t offer to host.

Blow out the candles, put the lights on, chairs on the table and start hoovering!

As the taxis have to be pre-booked then the guests will need a departure time, so something along the lines of "as we now have a baby we will be winding down by (insert time), so please can you book your taxis for this time"

They can always host if they are ‘sensitive’ to some very reasonable boundaries!

You are allowed to end a party. There is no rule that you’re a shit host if everyone can’t stay for 12+ hours

Yes, some of these responses are so ridiculous. Being a guest in someone's home doesnt mean you can do whatever the fck you like regardless of how selfish or anti social it is to others. Good grief.

Or ... you could offer them a lift home at 6pm 'before we start putting the baby to bed' so they can both drink.

Would your parents offer to have everyone afterwards for a drink? In my experience, people can be sensitive about things like this.

Our guests arrive at 11.30am and are gone by 6pm - same if we are at theirs for Christmas. 6.5 hours is plenty of time in each others company if you all live locally. Even pre kids there was no partying until midnight!

Never mind the film or the Baileys. Perfectly reasonable with a young child to want to only have people around in the daytime.

Yanbu. A 7pm deadline is needed.

It reminds me of the age old quote people will treat you and your babies the way you allow them to treat you.

The onus is on you to set the tone, decide what is served, the timings and ending. It’s your home op. It’s your children that will live with the drunken brawls that you will allow to be their first memories if Christmas.

Never be afraid to have boundaries in your own life, and in your own home.