Would I be unreasonable to ask people to leave by a certain time on Christmas Day?

Surely to god they’ll have the brain to realise that things are different this year given there’s now a very young baby?

You would have thought so. Although quite a few posters don't seem to either.

Surely to god they’ll have the brain to realise that things are different this year given there’s now a very young baby? Mentioning that he/she is still keeping you up should be enough. Will they be so insensitive as to try to carry on drinking/partying til midnight? I’d be shushing them and reminding them they’ll wake up the baby. Maybe the OP won’t have to make a big fuss about it? I hope!

So they come for Christmas dinner having prebooked a taxi for midnight? Fuck that.

I would stuff them so full that they want to sleep 😉

Early evening- would you like a cup of tea before you go?

Indeed. There are quite a few petulant people on here who seem to have the attitude: "I want to party for 12 hours, be served food all day, have you running around to clean up after me, play loud banging music into the night whilst I get progressively drunker (sod the fact you have baby to put to bed) and if you wont allow me that then fine, I'm not coming at all" sulk

Geez.

Leave it out, it doesn't have to be either you want to host for a long and hectic and drunken day or you don't want to see people at all. You're just badgering now.

The well oiled people have been hosted to nth degree on Christmas Day… they Can of course stay up till midnight partying but they didn’t get up early with an excited child and don’t have to get up with kids the day after.

Even if it’s a casual Boxing Day the kids need to be catered to. So whoever is coming needs to understand that, and leave at a reasonable time. 9pm is more than generous imo but after last year it just needs to be understood by everyone… including husband

It's shit like this that makes so many women dread Christmas, because they are expected to martyr themselves facilitating everyone else's good time. The number of "and that does your husband think about this??" type posts is a tad depressing. It really shouldn't be that controversial for OP, who has had a baby and will be cooking for everyone, to consider her own needs and ask for a couple of hours to herself at the end of a long day.

I'm also surprised at the number of people saying she shouldn't invite anyone in the first place if she isn't happy for them to stay til midnight. Since when does hosting people for lunch mean you've implicity agreed to them staying for 10-12 hours?? Would all of you honestly just assume that a couple with a baby under a year old would want you getting pissed and playing loud music in their house til gone midnight on christmas day? If anything I would be taking it upon myself to ask them "what time does the baby normally go to bed?" then suggesting to the rest of the family in advance that we clear off at that time and leave the new parents in peace.

OP, in your shoes I'd set up a WhatsApp group or something and message the following
"We'll aim to serve lunch at 1pm on Christmas Day so feel free to get here for 12pm. We're really looking forward to spending the day with you all but hope you'll forgive us that we aren't up for a late night partying this year. Baby will no doubt have us up at 5am so after all the excitement she'll/he'll be ready for bed at 7pm and DH and I won't be too far behind! Let me know if you want us to book a taxi for you, and we will totally understand if you want to carry on and have an 'after-party' at one of your houses without us."
If they take offence then it's not the end of the world. I wouldn't feel guilty on account of anyone entitled enough to think that availing themselves of my hospitality for 7 hours wasn't enough!!

Quite right! I should have read the rest of the OPs comments before replying...

Don't be ridiculous.
I wouldn't want to host a load of well oiled people until midnight on Christmas day either, nor do a lot of people. And I don't have a baby.

I don’t agree. I think op is happy to host but is being sensible about her energy levels with a baby and a toddler. Not unsurprisingly.

Then I think you don't really want to host Christmas day.

But you know they like a bit of a party and will not be happy to be gently shooed out early evening. Even if you say 'Carriages at 7pm' or similar, they may not actually leave at that time.

That's quite the back peddle after saying...

Maybe I'm old fashioned but I think it's inappropriate for a husband and wife to leave an event seperately.

Controversially I think you're eating too late to have an early curfew.

Eat earlier, let them come from 12pm and bin them off at 8pm.

@Nina1013 @Berlinlover
You don't give a guest the bum's rush, though. 🤦‍♀️
And saying, How could you not realize it was a pity invite, is bloody harsh and rude! Should she have declined for pride's sake?
I wouldn't think to leave right after the meal either.

No I did not. Our Christmases and other get togethers went on usual when babies arrived.
Did you miss where I said that the OP wasn't being unreasonable and advised her to ask the guests to leave earlier than she suggested?

@Nina1013 Of course I realised it was a pity invite and had actually declined the invite initially. My father had died three months earlier so it was actually the first Christmas I didn’t have anyone to spend it with. My friend was adamant that “nobody should spend Christmas Day alone” and droned on for weeks about it. In the end I agreed to join them and thought we were having a nice time until 4.30 when my friend said “Let us know when you want to go home”. I had barely digested my food 😂

But how could you not have realised it was ‘a pity invite’ in as much as they didn’t want you to spend Christmas alone? If they’ve never invited you before, and you’re not part of their family, and you were otherwise going to be alone, what other reason do you think they realistically had for asking you?

I think it was really kind of them to think of you, but I would be mortified if I invited someone for lunch and they took that to mean they were welcome to also stay all evening…

i think expecting them to leave at 9 is more than reasonable

I'm like you and I need my wind down time

the difficulty is how to word it or whether you start giving signals when they're here!

Are people forgetting that the OP has a very young baby?

I'm surprised at how many people on this thread are indicating that drinking and playing loud music until midnights is a very normal family Christmas. Mine and dh's families have always eaten and drunk our fill from around midday onwards and wandered off home around 7/8pm to put small children to bed after them not having slept the night before and for parents to chill out at home and eat more cheese in pjs. I'm genuinely surprised that most people seem to party all evening.

OP said 9pm, not 4, 9pm is completely reasonable.

I wouldn't worry about offending anyone if you have an aggressive drunk in the midst.

I would be sending a general text that everyone is most welcome between the hours of 2-9pm, as things are different now the baby has arrived.

I would limit the alcohol available too.
I really wouldn't want my child to have an aggressive drunk around them at all.

Actually 9 is a bit late 7-7.30 sounds better.