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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would I be unreasonable to ask people to leave by a certain time on Christmas Day?

288 replies

Threetrees745 · 18/11/2024 08:34

Just that really? We are hosting both sets of grandparents and youngest in the house isn't even a year old yet.
I just think by the evening I'll be really tired after a morning of excitement with the kids then cooking and hosting.

Last time we hosted, our parents didn't leave until nearly midnight and it was very much a party atmosphere with lots of alcohol and music on loud after dinner. My social battery definitely doesn't last as long as my husband's and while I enjoyed it, I was glad when they finally left.

I just feel that I would like a more calm, child centric Christmas this year since we have a baby so I was thinking of asking people if they could book taxis home shortly after dinner. I think my parents would be OK with this and I can be honest with them but my in laws are they type to take offence, especially my MIL as she will take it that she isn't wanted at all.

So am I unreasonable to give everyone a "home time"?

OP posts:
Original poster
Threetrees745 · 18/11/2024 08:52

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 18/11/2024 08:49

Personally I think YABU. If you don't want to host, then don't.

I do want to host, I just don't want to host for 12 hours straight.

OP posts:
shellyleppard · 18/11/2024 08:51

Don't host and just have you hubby and baby on Christmas day??? Can always see family on Christmas Eve/boxing day? Or just give everyone their coats at a time that suits you??? 😉

Original poster
Threetrees745 · 18/11/2024 08:50

ArminTamzerian · 18/11/2024 08:39

Unreasonable if your husband was perfectly happy, yes. Why not just go to bed and leave everyone else to enjoy the evening?

Because it's not that I want to go to bed, it's I want to enjoy a bit of wind down with my husband, maybe have a baileys and watch a film before heading to bed.

It feels a bit sad and lonely to trot upstairs on my own.

OP posts:
Original poster
Threetrees745 · 18/11/2024 08:49

Onlyvisiting · 18/11/2024 08:44

Am I reading it right that last year you didn't gave a child, this year you do?
In which case if your DH is in agreement its an excellent time to make a change.
'Aiming for a more family friendly Christmas this year, love to see you all for dinner etc, but will be winding down /bedtime starting at 6/7pm.'
Although, I think it's easier to invite people to arrive later than kick them out at a certain time. So I'd say morning alone for family Christmas, no one arrive before like 2 pm, dinner at 4 and if the evening goes on too long them you and baby feck off upstairs to bed.

We had my husband's child who was picked up by his mother after dinner. Leaving all the adults to have a bit of a wild party.
This year we have my husband's child and a baby all day/night.

OP posts:
Bunniemalone · 18/11/2024 08:49

Not unreasonable, we had the 'family guests who never leave' a few times, it's nice they feel comfortable to stay & don't want to go home. But due to work we get up at 4am ish every day. So are done by 8pm. 2 ways to go here. If Hubby is happy to host alone fine, get him to forewarn his parents threetrees is knackered after such a busy day, so she'll be popping off to bed about 8.30pm. You are welcome to stay later but we will need to be a bit quieter given DC & Three trees sleeping ( also helped if you forewarn your DP what's happening & they say at about 7ish, well it's been lovely, but we will leave you in peace now & PIL may take the hint. Or DH just tells them we love to see you but we are going to wrap it up at 8 as we're tired out by then.

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 18/11/2024 08:49

Personally I think YABU. If you don't want to host, then don't.

user1492757084 · 18/11/2024 08:44

You can suggest an earlier exit because you are weary this year. Most will not take offence.
Go to bed at 8 o'clock.

Leave them all to it but do ask your DH to make sure the noise is not loud enough to disturb your sleep.

Onlyvisiting · 18/11/2024 08:44

Am I reading it right that last year you didn't gave a child, this year you do?
In which case if your DH is in agreement its an excellent time to make a change.
'Aiming for a more family friendly Christmas this year, love to see you all for dinner etc, but will be winding down /bedtime starting at 6/7pm.'
Although, I think it's easier to invite people to arrive later than kick them out at a certain time. So I'd say morning alone for family Christmas, no one arrive before like 2 pm, dinner at 4 and if the evening goes on too long them you and baby feck off upstairs to bed.

ExtraOnions · 18/11/2024 08:40

Go to bed and leave them to it, just ask them to keep the noise down

ArminTamzerian · 18/11/2024 08:39

Unreasonable if your husband was perfectly happy, yes. Why not just go to bed and leave everyone else to enjoy the evening?

ClicketyClickPlusOne · 18/11/2024 08:39

YANBU … but it does sound fun, and you could always ask your DH to turn the music quieter / slower and go to bed as soon as you flop?

MorrisZapp · 18/11/2024 08:38

You can't give your in laws a going home time, leave that to your DH.

Rainbow321 · 18/11/2024 08:38

Not at all . Have a slightly earlier lunch with them knowing that late afternoon you will serve mince pies / Christmas cake with a cup of tea which is the signal that its time to leave .

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