Draining guests

This visit was the worst and has left us really upset.

This comment stands out. A visit from friends should not leave you upset or resentful.
You can handle it in many ways, and you've got a lot of advice upthread.

However perhaps in this case honesty is the best policy. You don't really have anything to lose to be honest. Just tell them how you feel.

Reply to next text asking when to come "Sorry but hotel FunkyGoldfish is closed now"

In that case I'd let the friendship drift. In fact when they try to make their annual booking I'd say sorry we can't afford to host you this year as it costs quite a lot! Then send them an air BnB link near by!

Exactly this. Or, if you don’t really want to go to theirs either, just use the second half of the above. You could always add vague comments about ‘plans for decorating’, or ‘having a lot on next year’ to really hammer home that you’re not able to host.
And then relax 😊

Say you’ve a foreign student.
They are rude and there’s no point applying logic or reasoning.
I had a guest like that and my imaginary student stopped proceedings.

I would suggest you either respond with “think it’s our turn to come to you, when suits?”, or “sorry, after many years of hosting we have decided that in future we would love to meet up with people for a meal or two when you are in the area but are no longer able to accommodate houseguests”. I changed my house around to ensure we no longer had guest rooms after a particularly brutal experience. I have had the occasional person to stay overnight since then but that is my limit.

No need to lie about anything. Just say you're finding hosting a bit too much so you won't be able to accommodate them any more

@FunkyGoldfish tell them next year that you have found a load of bedbugs!! they wont want to come back!

Do you even like these people? I wouldn’t if I knew them. I wouldn’t be lying about covid or having other people to stay, I’d just being say no to them. No, they can’t come to stay. If they ask why I’d tell them (they’re freeloading fuckwits) and give them examples of that behaviour.

I don’t honestly understand why you’ve put up with this shit for so long? They’re takers who never give back. That’s not a friendship.

Oh, and if it's in winter, keep the house a bit on the chilly side. The freeloaders won't know that you have your thermals on underneath.

Tell them you don't have house guests these days, or if you can't bring yourself to do that, take the standard of hospitality several notches downwards: cereal for breakfast, soup and bread for lunch, no wine with meals. You have other commitments during the day so they will need to arrange their own outings.

Why do people allow freeloaders to do this shit more than once?

Drop contact and if they do suggest visiting just say No Thanks, have had enough of being used by you freeloaders!

If you enjoy their company at all and want to see them, I like @GrandHighPoohbah suggestion.

Sorry, it just doesn't work for us to host you going forward.
Stop being a mug.

Also, i would get in first with a message saying you can't do next year ... then you won't feel as bad saying no because you've not been asked yet ... I'd also be inclined to just say you're not hosting for a while as it's too much, it should be a joy not a chore and expensive

I think I’d say no when they ask if they can visit. Make excuses.

or become bad hosts. Which I couldn’t do, as I really couldn’t let myself be inhospitable! But I could make excuses - busy / other guests / broken boiler / going away…

hi, it was great to see you this weekend. A couple of our other friends and family members have asked can they visit next year, it'll be too much to do more than a couple of weekends so will have to give your visit a miss ... we'd be happy to come to you guys for the weekend though if you let me know when suits

ya cheeky feckers! 😂

Don't tell them you have other visitors or d&v, it will just mean they suggest different dates, surely

I think you need a longer term solution. Tell then you've changed the spare room into an office / hobby room / nursery and you don't have space to host. Tell them that you find hosting really tiring and are sticking to family only from now on but if they are visiting if you'd love to meet them for a meal (and only pay your share!). Tell them that things are a bit tight and they're welcome to stay and you'll do a meal (and only have a couple of bottles of wine in) but they'll have to sort their own travel and food otherwise

Or if you're not worried about being friends any more (and are you, given how entitlwd and rudw they are?) just message them to say you're feeling a bit taken advantage of, given you never get a return invite and the unequal driving and spending on food, drink and snacks

I do think you have to take some of the blame here. Yes it's a bit awkward but not impossible to ask a waitress to split the bill, or only buy your own at the counter.

How fun it was catching up. Thanks for coming all this way to see us.
Sorry, but changes are afoot for your visit next year.
We are only able to host for three days due to other family committments. We have changed circumstances so will not be able to accompany you out as much either and we will have to split the bill when we do, sorry.
Just thought I need to give you that heads up so that you can adjust your expectations and not be disappointed when it's not quite like other years.

If they respond by saying they can pay you more, do all the cooking etc so they can stay longer etc just say that you are getting older and actually, given that you were so tired after their last visit, you think it will be beneficial to have you stay for fewer days.

When they first arrive state clearly that you are not drinking as much alcohol; you've cut back and feel wonderful for it.

You must put some boundaries in place! You do not have to host these people. I agree with PPs suggestions of suggesting going to theirs instead. If you do host, don’t supply all the alcohol - ask them to bring their own. Ask them to drive themselves around. The problem here is that they’ve come to expect a certain level of service from you and they are taking advantage. Say no!

I would definitely go with "Why don't we come to you next time? October is most convenient for us - any dates that suit for you?". And if they start with some old flannel about why they can't host, go back with "Ah well, not to worry. We're taking a break from hosting visitors next year but let's keep in touch".