Draining guests

Next time they ask to come suggest that you go to them this time.

My in laws solved this by just telling people that as they got older they don't host any more...they recommend a hotel and agree to meet up while people are in the areas.

My husband and I are just starting in our 50s to feel the same about some visitors we have....

Do you host others? If you do, I'd just reply "wev decided to stop hosting as often as it all adds up and we are focusing on saving. There's a lovely air b&b/hotel nearby I can send you the link to and can let us know if you book to meet up for a dinner or lunch if wer free."

To be fair to your guests op, taking you out and paying for one meal out of a three-night stay is a reasonably generous gesture imho, but I see they do drink a lot, and expecting to be driven around is cheeky.

Op you don't have to do this next year. Let this be the last time. You have done your bit.

Just be on the alert for the "initiating" phone call. I know how these things can work, you are chatting on the phone about something completely different and people casually slip in a phrase such as "we'll do that when we visit in November" as though it's a fait accompli and you think "hang on, when was this agreed?".

So don't let any casual remarks slip. Hoist the big girl pants right up to your chest, breathe deeply, and in a loud voice say something like, "actually Janice that doesn't work for us, as we are taking a break from hosting for various reasons next year". And if they don't accept no for an answer, because some people have skin like a rhino, repeat "no actually, we are finding hosting too much and we aren't doing it next year". If asked why just tell them straight, "you know how it is Janice, some people like to take advantage and rarely reciprocate and it's exhausting" and then stop speaking and let silence reign while the pennies drop.

What would I do? I'd stop inviting them, or if you're not inviting them, learn how to say no.

Then just don't set a date. Or don't have much food in house or booze. Obviously you are much too generous as hosts. So cut that out.
Oh dear that's the last bottle gone. Then silence. If they want a drink they can pop to Tesco....keep up the we're out of wine on repeat. Be stingy hosts. Rubbish food. Take flasks of coffee with you etc.. Keep the house cold. Run out of hot water etc.

Might be worth actually expressing this to them. “Dear CF friends, while we have always enjoyed having you over, this year’s visit has felt rather uneven in terms of what you are expecting from us, and what we feel we are financially able to provide. You used to share the costs of the visit but this time you seem to think we should pay for your entire holiday [examples].
As a result, we feel that you are using us for our hospitality in this location and it doesn’t feel friendly. I’m sure you will be mortified to realise, but you’ll understand why we don’t want this annual arrangement to continue in this way.”

Could you say 'Actually, we'd LOVE to come to you this time'. You might not want to, but a) that will probably be the last you'll hear of them and b) if they do agree, go for it and get your revenge and c) you could then broach the subject of stopping this tradition and perhaps suggest all getting an AirBnB somewhere else together? Just be brave and say that having guests for any more than a day is getting too much.

Friendship is voluntary.
Why not say you have decided to stop hosting for a while and see where the friendship goes?

I never understand how people can be good enough friends that supposedly they stay with you, but not good enough that you can't say something. It doesn' thave to be a huge confrontation. A simpe, "you're welcome to come and use our house as a base for a trip, but we don't have the finances and/or time for huge entertaining or lots of tourist activities" or "This year, let's arrange a rota for meals/drinks" or even just, "oy, you turned up with one bottle of wine for a week? Cheeky buggers. [tinkly laugh] You'll hvae to pop to the shops tomorrow!"

They are getting away with it because you are letting them. Why are you pandering to people you don't have much contact with the rest of the year?

Stop buying them so much food and drink.

.

Say No, sorry doesn’t work for us anymore. Here’s some links to an Airbnb

If you don't have a way to say no

This is the way @FunkyGoldfish

No need to lie, no need to make excuses - just exactly this.

Do you have dc?
If not I'd be terrible hosts next time. No alcohol, say you've gone dry, minimal basic no brand food, on a budget. Have a few activities planned so you are not around to just etc

Say no

I'm so disappointed that this thread wasn't posted by a vampire.

Really, who needs friends who take the piss. Just say you are cutting down on visitors as you find in tiring. This may sound rude but they have been rude to you and they must know it.

If you do like them I would offer a single night only and say that’s all you have the energy for nowadays and send them links to local air b n bs if they want to extend their trip.

Draining guests

Sounds ominous😳

Grow a back bone and say no.

Don't apologise and don't explain. You just can't do it.

Just be honest, if they text asking to come again just say that you’ve put an indefinite hold on having guests overnight as you were both finding that hosting took the fun out of it. You could offer to meet at a halfway point for a day out/ lunch instead (obviously paying 50/50) but I suspect it might not be accepted….