Christmas is for the kids

The "Christmas is for kids" and "adults should only have small, token presents" people can fuck all the way to fuck in my book.

I'm 38. I'm child-free. I fucking love Christmas. Me and DP buy shit loads of presents for each other. The house is like a grotto. The cupboards and fridge are overflowing. Every December day is a Christmas jumper day. We do Christmas crafts. We watch Christmas films. It's insane. It's wonderful. It'd be absolutely ruined with children anywhere the fuck near it.

It’s a midwinter festival. Most cultures have one. Ours is pegged to Christmas but it’s fine to just enjoys food, lights and time off on your own terms.

Wearing my Bah-Humbug hat; I don't understand why we continue to celebrate the incorrect birthday of someone who didn't exist.
However, taking it as just a Father Christmas - based few days comprising eating, drinking and presents, they yayyy! But not just for kids - everyone needs a bit of a break.
However, whichever way it is looked at, so many people are stressed about hosting/visting/feeding/keeping everyone happy, and in some cases, going into massive debt to get a certain toy, that few really enjoy it

I think it's for people who enjoy Christmas, whatever their age or reason.

My mum (80) loves it because everything pauses and rests

My DD loves it because she's 5.

I used to love it but then had an awful one when I was 25 and realised it's only great if things are going ok, so the magic all suddenly stopped and now I find it a bit stressful managing schedules and gifts.

Also, since my awful one, I realise how bad it must be for people not having great times or not excited about Christmas. It's like you're watching a show that you hate and want it to be over because you can't / don't want to participate.

So I think there is a balance perhaps.

That's really sad that you'd only come up with booze or chocolate, do you not have any interests? Or do your relatives not have any? Blimey....

I’m not sure it’s that sad necessarily. It can well the case that adults just buy themselves things relating to their interests at any time of the year and not Christmas? My DH is very into the gym and sport generally but there is no gym kit I could buy him for Christmas as he upgrades his kit as and when he wants to / feels the need.

I absolutely LOVE Christmas, but yes I find food and drink type presents the best as they’re enjoyed then and there. Books are also good I suppose as people can treat you to a book you wouldn’t have heard of otherwise.. but honestly, yes - I have interests, my DH has interests, my friends have interests but we all tend to peruse those interests over the year and spend money on those interests over the year too.

I don’t think it’s fair to brand everyone boring who struggle to buy presents for adults.

Christmas is for everyone that wants to celebrate but I do think when there are primary-age or younger children in the family that it should mainly revolve around them. There are so few years when they truly believe in the magic of it all so I personally prioritise the youngest members of the family and expect the adults should work around that or do their own thing if that doesn’t work for them.

Christmas is for everyone of course but I can see a huge merit to presents for children only.

I keep reading people tying themselves up in knots trying to afford and plan presents for a huge number of adult siblings, siblings in law, cousins, parents, grandparents etc. That side of it clearly is ridiculous and can ruin the season completely.

I very much hope if I make it to 90 I still have interests!

There are though quite a lot of adults who really don't need or want anything much and that's when gift giving becomes pointless. Someone in my family genuinely has no interests in life beyond watching television and buying anything at all for them is just burning money. They don't even view food and drink as anything but transactional energy to stay alive. It's a real pleasure to not have an annual brain wrack to think of anything at all that might add to their life.

We're on the same page!

My partner is getting music gig tickets.

God how narrow minded! I've got him a motor racing umbrella and rain jacket as he needs new ones and is a passionate motor racing follower and I've got loads of ideas for me, I'm into yoga, hill walking stuff like that so always a bit of kit to be updated. We also buy each other books, music, used to be dvds etc. That's really sad that you'd only come up with booze or chocolate, do you not have any interests? Or do your relatives not have any? Blimey....

Christmas to me is for love and cheer and a time of warmth and celebration with anyone you love. I've had some amazing Christmases without children. HOWEVER i think it's truly magical if you believe in Santa. And there are only a few years where children are old enough to understand and young enough to believe... for those years for me the children really take priority so yes it is all about them.

If you’re really running short of ideas - and you must be severely lacking in imagination if all you can think of is sweets and booze - I can help you. I’ve bought my bloke a sailing course, he’s 67. There are plenty more ideas where that came from.

Christmas is for everyone. It’s better when you have children who still believe in Santa and get excited though. It’s not quite the same when there aren’t little ones.

What on earth do you buy a 60 or 90 something, beyond token consumables sweets, bottle of booze?

It just becomes hard trying to come up with ideas.

Christmas is for everyone. I think it just takes on a different meaning as you get older.

As a child, it's all about the magic. Father Christmas and presents. I'm 40 and still get a bit of a lump in my throat whenever I see a well-done Father Christmas out and about somewhere.

As an older teen, I personally found Christmas a bit shit. Never got quite what I wanted and it was spent with the same people I saw every day anyway (we never did the big extended family Christmas like you see on tv).

From mid-20s onwards, it became special again. The nostalgia, the gift giving, spending time with the people I love, and just having a nice relaxing time!

I'm a primary school teacher, and the build up to Christmas in school is always such a lovely time.

I don’t agree with the concept, otherwise why do people without children celebrate it?? I have a child, but I don’t make the house nicely decorated and cook nice food only for his benefit!

DH and I exchange ’proper presents’ as we are both bad at buying things for ourselves so it’s an opportunity to treat each other. We buy token gifts for parents and they for us, and other than that, there’s no adult gift giving. But I would expect I’ll continue to buy ‘proper presents’ for the kids as they get older unless it’s economically unviable.

Christmas is a family event.
Presents are for kids, Adults shouldn't exchange much more than token gifts.

Why?! There is no 'should' about it. If adults want to give each other proper presents, why on earth shouldn't they?

Christmas is for everyone. Festivals (religious or otherwise) have always been celebrated by the people, not just children. I don't understand why celebration, feasting, enjoyment and marking the changing of the seasons would exclude adults. What an odd idea!

I don’t have children but I do have family. This will probably be the last Christmas my mum is at home as her dementia is advancing at an alarming rate. So some people would think I shouldn’t have the time off? While she still has glimmers of almost lucidity she’ll have a Christmas! We always love Christmas whilst my dad had to sit gnashing his teeth and trying to ruin it.

I always end up hosting due to many factors so me and My husband have our own Christmas #2. It’s usually the weekend after Christmas. We buy sale gifts as you just get ripped off before Christmas. Buck’s Fizz in bed, a lot of sex, a long walk (weather permitting) eating rubbish and watching telly together. That is an adult Christmas to me.

Yes of course - nothing wrong with exchanging presents with loved ones. That is not what I was talking about.

I am talking about the people who do “ask for sacks of things”. It’s the adults who expect a sackful of multiple presents/high value gifts from their parents as if they still think these presents are being provided by Santa, when they are working full time and earning. Most of my colleagues seem to be in this position with their adult children which seems crazy to me.

Each to their own, and it is for everyone to do what they enjoy most whatever that may be. No rules for anyone is my motto! I'm on the side that it's mainly for kids though.

We do it our way and have done for a number of years now. Away to the sun for three weeks and we have a fab Grinch non-Christmas. Bliss on legs. I enjoy FaceTime on the day with extended family from my sunbed while adjusting my sunglasses.

My DGM still got me a present the year I was 35, before she became unwell and passed away when I was 36. My DPs still get me presents every year. And my adult DSiblings. My DM was getting presents until she was 63 from her DM.

And I get presents for them.

It's part of showing our appreciation for each other. It's not about asking for sacks of things - but receiving something bought with love - with graciousness and thanks.

And shows younger family members that it is not all about them but that everyone is remembered and part of the family. And modelling how to think of someone else. And how to thank people for their thoughtfulness.

When there are children involved, it is important that they are involved and considered and that the day is not solely about drinking alcohol and having grown up conversations.

But it is not JUST for the kids either. Everyone should enjoy it. Kids don't get to rule the roost and dictate everything. There should be proper food (it doesn't have to be a traditional roast turkey but celebration food to eat together). Adults can sit and enjoy adult conversation at least some of the time. There should be presents for everyone - not an overwhelming pile for DCs and nothing for adults. There should be a mix of entertainment to suit all - so sometimes there will be traditional carols because DGM loves those, sometimes cheesy Christmas hits of the past for DCs to dance to, and sometimes teens can have some of their music just not at deafening volumes.

People at work should each have a fair chance to get time off - not just parents of young DCs but those with older parents, adult DCs, no extended family - if they want time off. And those with young DCs should not guilt trip those who get leave days to change them at short notice.

Parents can take a night out for themselves leaving DCs with babysitters. Not just the work nights they have to go to.

Christmas is a midwinter festival at a time when people generally need some downtime and renewal, quite apart from the religious celebration.

So no, Christmas is not "just for the kids" in any way shape or form. And I say that as an adult child and sibling, a parent, an aunt, a godparent, a working mum, a manager and a person in my own right. Even when dc was small, it was never "just" for them - some years, our family arrangements had to be juggled around their (and others') needs, but as part of that bigger picture.

Christmas is for everyone in my house.

We all get extra time off, lie-ins, we all get presents, special food & drink, family outings, seeing friends, a change from the routine.

I love it. 😊

I hate that as well.
It's for everyone, not just the kids.