To not want to spend another sh*t Xmas with in laws

OP what a nightmare and I feel your pain my SIL and her husband are exactly the same. They are extremely wealthy, look down their noses at the rest of the family and just spend the day making sarcastic comments, putting everyone down and being totally vile. I have had to suck it up for years, it is hideous but not worth the arguments and fall out if I say I won't go. I don't enjoy Christmas, in fact I just see it as something to be endured, I will just be glad to get back to work as soon as possible.

Invite your parents and his mum. Say sorry no space for siblings. If she doesn’t want to come that’s up to her.

And if your DH wants to go he can, but he can’t force you to let him take the kids?! Put your foot down and spend it how you want to spend it. Your turn to decide this year.

Have a family Christmas Day on Christmas Eve - open presents have dinner, play all day!

The he can F-Off to his parents and you can do it with yours.

Tell him he is welcome to go to his mother's but you and your children will be spending christmas day at home with your parents.

If he doesn't like that then his mother is more than welcome to come to you.

If he doesn't like that tell him he is self-centered and selfish and after 13 years of suiting him you will be suiting you - and your children.

If you can't do that then text him "so am I to understand that for the Xth year in a row we will be going to your mum's even though you know I don't enjoy it, have a family of my own I'd like to invite over and I have to work Stephens' day so this is my only day off really" If he says yes reply "Well ok - you clearly have your priorities. but like you agreed, we'll be staying home next year."

Then save the text and when he starts trying to impose his own will next year produce it. but good luck with that - he sounds very very self-centered to me.

Of course I know Good King Wenceslas but never gave one thought to when 'the feast of Stephen' might be! Apart from sometime vaguely around Christmas.

To be fair, she missed an s in Stephens's day. That would confuse anyone.

personally, I’d go OP

knowing full well this is the last year. Just constantly have a glass in your hand and tune out the in laws, secretly rejoicing that this is the last one. You might even enjoy it, knowing this info

Next year, you invite the MIL round but don’t invite the others. Job done ✔️

How could you not know that Boxing Day also known as St Stephen's Day? Have you never heard Good King Wenceslas? Who, "last looked out, on the feast of Stephen"???

No advice to give but just to say - you are not being unreasonable.

I'm dreading Christmas too for similar reasons. Usual annual guilt-fest at spending Christmas with relatives I'd rather not.

Nor does the H decide what their kids will be doing!

I had never, ever heard of Stephen's day either.

Stay at home and invite MIL to you, or go away and take her with you. Problem solved!

You need to be strong and say you're staying at home this year and he can visit his mum on boxing day or whatever.
Not up to him to take the kids since they've been every year. Fuck that

Can you stay nearby so that you can escape to your own space away from them? And next year spend time with your family if that's what you'd like.

OP, would it be possible for you to host your MIL and your own parents, rather than going to MIL's? That way you wouldn't need to see the people that make Christmas miserable for you, and as you say MIL get's upset with the 'normal' Christmas, then maybe she'd like to come to you and avoid her other kids for a change. That way, both you and your DH get to spend time with your own parents on the day, and MIL is saved from all the problems with his siblings. Just a thought, although you've probably left it a bit late to make any major changes to such a regular set up for this year. However, I'd certainly be putting MY foot down next year, and setting expectations for this on Boxing Day, so that your DH knows that this is the LAST Christmas he gets it all HIS way!

Invite the MIL to yours and also your parents, oops no room for the other people this time, sorryyyyyyy

Tell him fine, go to your parents, you can stay home with the children and invite your family to come visit.

Well, that's the thing. "You would guess". I'd say ask the MIL instead of guessing

This is why people drink. Most of us couldn’t get through Christmas without alcohol, or tranquillisers, or something. Any big family get together means tension. My BIL, for example, is an oaf with disgusting table manners. He eats like a pig, smacking his lips together, burping, etc, then takes his shoes and socks off and puts his feet up. We’ve got nothing in common, and find it impossible to connect. He isn’t a bad man, and my sister is very happy, but I find him almost unbearable.

So is it because his brother and sister are horrible to his mum? Therefore he feels he needs to be there to make Christmas as nice as he can for his mum? If so he's a very nice chap but it's a big ask year after year.

"Christmas is for kids?"
Since when?

I would guess she wants to spend her last Christmas in her family home, in her family home. Next year may be different.

Why dont you host yourselves? I think it’s strange for parents to expect adult children to go to them once they have their own children. Surely your children want to open presents etc at home not be packed off in a car?

This ^

Put your foot down and tell him you are spending Xmas - with your children - with your parents. He can go to his mum's on his own if he wants to.

(Ps - I'm a husband saying that)

Out of curiosity, where do you choose to go away to each year?