How to handle this competitive mum in reception

I'd just nod and smile, secure in the knowledge that her child is almost guaranteed to be no less average than she is as an adult.

Whenever someone asked me what reading group my child was in I said “I don’t know”.

which is true. They all get to the same level afterall.

Either avoid or just change the subject or start the subject first, ie hi how are you? Up to anything this weekend? If she keeps changing it back to her daughter just avoid 🥸

This is brilliant. Stealing!

Why does it matter so much? She asks-you tell her. What's wrong with that?

That's the only way to deal with elevenerife type

Well personally I'd just tell her. Why wouldn't I? As you say, they all develop differently, and in the scheme of things it's of very little importance.

I knew someone like this. I think she must be deeply insecure. I kind of developed a sense of humour about which book our children were reading and how quickly they were potty trained.

Her son is a lovely lad and generally doing fine but didn't turn out to be a captain of industry (nor did mine!). He also tends to avoid her quite a bit.

I know a school mum like this: always bragging about how her youngest child was reading novels in reception, knew all her tables aged 4, etc (not really surprising given she’s been shoving flashcards in the poor kid’s face since she was two). I know enough about this woman to realise it comes from a sense of insecurity, so I felt quite sorry for her until she started trying to drag my DC into her comparisons and downplaying their achievements. The way I dealt with it was to tell her I’d been exactly the same as a child, could read fluently aged 3, was moved up a year in primary school, etc… All true, but I now have a distinctly average life and job with a crap salary. She stopped regaling me with tales of her little genius after that!

Every time 👍

(Not so) fond memories of DD’s primary school. One set of parents were ultra-competitive (to the extent that the dad would quiz DD when he came to collect his child after a play date). They would stop random
parents on the walk to school to brag. Sadly for their lovely child, they cut off the play dates because DD generally did slightly better than theirs. Happily they picked up the friendship again when they ended up at the same university.

Trouble withe people like this is they often pretty dim; cannot read the room take a hint or register irony/tone of voice/or ironic facial expressions.

I can recall a scenario at work with a collegue who competitive in material things. She was boasting at length about her new car, and some one said "You need to get a fake tan to go with that". Funny, but she just didn't get it.😂

I'd just keep reminding yourself this competitive nature Comes from insecurity. Nod and don't share anything about your child.

Just smile and say "That's great! No wonder you're proud of him!"

No skin off your nose.

We had a mum on the player ground like this. We found that just saying a very unbothered “oh” and gazing off to the distance usually confused her and then she stopped it after a few times. I’m all for being proud of your kids but sometimes it’s just braggy

Paddington Bear stare and don’t speak

Hide in the corner

" I don't wish to talk to you"
That's all you need to say. No need to explain

Cross posted as this hits the nail on the head.

Sometimes what people like this want is to engage in a competition so that each thing you say they trump with something else. I knew a mum like this at Brownies who did it ever blooming week and once I disengaged she avoided me. So if she said "Jilly is reading red level books, what level is Sam?' I'd reply with "fantastic, isn't Jilly doing well, which book did she like best in that level?" etc. and completely sidestep questions about Sam. I think that it irritated her so much because I did it pleasantly and there was nothing she could come back at me with. One conversation like that and she didn't speak to me about Jilly again. She carried doing it with other parents all through Guides though....
My DC and Jilly are both at university in the same city now and we joke that we're amazed that the university haven't named a building after Jilly yet.😁

This

I know the type, OP.

If asked about my child’s reading level I think I’d say “I can’t remember off the top of my head” and then swiftly change the subject. I think the key is in never feeling like you need to confirm your child is doing well before you give it the brush off. Always give a neutral response and then she’ll soon stop trying.

It must be rooted in her own insecurity in one form or another. It could be that she needs the validation as a good mum, or perhaps she didn’t feel good enough at school herself. Unless she is unkind to or about anyone, I think I’d try to patient with it without giving anything away about my own child’s development. I think it’s unfair to talk about my child’s personal business anyway.

“Isn’t that nice.” Very dry, zero other engagement, don’t bother looking at her. My mother always reminded me that this was the ladylike way to say “who the fuck cares?” Eyes stay on your phone if need be.

And “oh I couldn’t say” is the polite way to tell someone to fuck off with a question. It doesn’t acknowledge whether you know or are just not going to answer, and suggests it’s probably a prying question.

Tell her there are multiple methods for teaching phonics and maths. Rushing ahead at home doesn’t indicate anything, other than she’s rushing ahead at home. Child may be missing some fundamentals and actually not have mastered anything. At my DCs school at that age it was reading for pleasure only and later a little TT rockstars. No homework as there’s little evidence that works so young and has the danger of the opposite effect.

Then walk off.

Play bingo in your head. You can also play it with other parents.

So have a list of things and give yourself a mental tick for every one she comes out with.

Child reading novels - tick
Child being the best behaved - tick

When you get 6 ticks reward your self in some way, a nice coffee or long soak in the bath.

When I was young one of our neighbour's child was always the best at everything, had never had an accident since potty training, best in the class etc etc.

One of the older neighbours spoke to my mum and pointed out that genius child's parent washed his pyjamas and sheets every day (days before dryers so all washing was hung out) and that was strange if her child never had an accident.