To struggle on this salary?

It's not pointless - you're building your career. And paying a mortgage on your own. How much longer left to pay on the car? Can you get rid for something smaller/cheaper to insure and cheap tax/tax free?

@TheSpoonyNavyReader I do not have to explain anything to you as it’s of no concern to you

I just explained that it is my concern. It's a choice that affects me, therefore, it's my concern and I am permitted to comment on it.

People need to celebrate everyone it’s not a race to the bottom, the UK is one of the only countries where people are looked down at for doing “well”.

Well could be going to university when everyone in their family has left school at 16.

we have become a society of everyone staying in their own lane, and treating others with suspicion if it does not meet their own narrative.

Those that have name called and questioned my need for a big car, or telling the OP that she is lucky just show their emotional intelligence.

Well you're right. I also don't think a holiday should be a luxury either but it seems it is to many. Perhaps the ire directed at you reflects the frustration that average people feel as their standard of living erodes beneath them. It's been quite a fun thread really.

I live in the country, it’s big enough for all my kids.

I also like it. Simple. I do not have to explain anything to you as it’s of no concern to you and anyone that thinks I should rent a car so we can all go out as a family is in my opinion naive and frankly stupid.

Seems a pretty good life-sum equation to me, at least some of your earnings are being chucked at a mortgage when so many are chucking more at their landlords in rent.

Generally, life is a bit shit for many right now, probably felt worse by being an LP - you are not alone. Just get through this winter and all will seem better once spring comes. It will still probably be shit but things are always more bearable after the Spring.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion and if someone had taken umbridge then that’s their opinion.

Lots on this thread have criticised the OP for saying she is struggling, the point I am making is that normal everyday items have risen so much that some are frankly out of touch and that bedding from M&S when you are working full time earning decent money should not be a luxury.

On this thread we have had the famous MN chicken that can feed a family of 4 for 3 nights and OP should grow her own vegetable and make a thermos flask of hot water at 6am is completely normal.

In what way does it directly affect you? A d what do you drive? Surely you are equally accountable to the whims of other people's opinions?

WTF is a Jogger? 🤔

@ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea The poster does not have to defend her choice of car to you

Yes she does. When people drive large and ugly SUVs, that's a choice that directly affects me and all other pedestrians and road users. That means I am permitted to criticise the choice.

If you want to buy a large and ugly SUV, you should be able to explain why you did so when challenged on it.

@Whatamitodonow
You said exactly what I thought!
DH moans as he does shopping at Asda £230 for 4 of us. I have zero sympathy as I would go to Aldi/ Lidl and pick up other bits if needed from Asda.
My fuel is £60 per tank
If heating is extortionate wear more layers and use blankets ! I didn't have central heating until age 7!
Car bought for £3200 5 years old on a bank loan rather than finance so cheaper interest rate £155 pm
Is Netflix necessary? Change to PAYG phone or cheaper contract.
Water - shower rather than bath / wash up once per day, fill water for kettle in cup fulls. Don't use dish washers.
Electric - turn off main lights unless in use and unplug appliances not needed. Use draught excluders.
Gas - decrease temperature on heating and turn off radiators in unused rooms, batch cook stews/ pies/ casseroles/ curry/ pasta bake which can be heated in microwave as needed, split into portions and freeze.

It's unfair you pay the whole childcare

Due to you paying it all your ex can go to work

Childcare should be 50/50

Would a cm be any cheaper?

How old is dc - when 3 Costa should go down a bit

You do need to write down everything you spend out of that 1000 a month to see where money is going

Oh I agree with you whole heartedly. Your broad point regarding wage shrinkage and the general cost trajectory of every day items is perfectly valid BUT I think you might have missed the mark when citing specific financial examples. I think that is what some previous posters have found insensitive and taken umbridge with.

Throw in some scatter cushions and extra deep fitted sheets like I did in M&S and it would come to that.

I purchased some Asda bedding once and it was terrible.

The point I am making is that everyone think 1k to pay for food and other bills is a huge amount it’s not.

I'm here as a friend, and certainly not an Asda shopper, to suggest you don't die on this particular hill. I'm 100% sure, without checking, that you'd struggle to spend as much as £200 in Asda, on 2 sets of bedding.

When people think that M&S is a luxury it’s a very sorry state of affairs.

I consider M&S a luxury. My kids consider it a rare treat.

@localnotail @ThisOldThang no

No uc check don't qualify for anything.
I work really hard for my money we are in a year appeal for pip for dh.

Where did I say it was the majority?

If the OP went to Asda and spent £200 on bedding that would be 20% on her monthly budget, people think 1k is a lot of money it’s not and people need to wake up to the fact that it’s a struggle, she still has to pay for food, bills and other expenses.

When people think that M&S is a luxury it’s a very sorry state of affairs.

Maybe - it has gone up to getting something albeit in a sliding scale at £80k though. Plus it’s only taxable income therefore particularly if she pays into pension she would well be under.

1k for food and all bills still is fuck all now unfortunately. It is not easy at the moment we’ve all just become accustomed to it.

TheSpoonyNavyReader · Today 20:41
In my circles £500 is a drop in the ocean.

Lucky circles. Not sure this is all that relevant to the vast majority.

Totally get it OP. It’s your childcare costs. We had it at one point they were £1400. You’ve had some good advice re tax free childcare, also shopping at Aldi which I’m sure someone will have mentioned, it’s still a good saving compared to the older supermarkets.
For us life got easier when we had both at school although we still have wraparound to pay. We use tax free childcare for that too which takes the edge off.

I expect there is a very large UC cheque each month that pretty much covers the £1700 rent.

£500 for two m&s bedding sets? 😮 I understand wanting quality but that seems so steep!

You have family of 4 living comfortably on £550 a month? Clothes, food, kids after school classes, dentist, hairdressers? Like, how?? No holidays? Never go out? Eat only vegetables?