To struggle on this salary?

There is only so much money in the pot!! 🤷🏽‍♀️ it’s not a case of just put the heating on. If our gas and electric direct debit increases that money has to come from elsewhere. We are not financially able to move money from somewhere else currently because I’m on maternity leave. We are managing fine, don’t worry about us. I’m not moaning, just saying to the op that cuts can be made in many places if she looks for them.
this is our third winter managing without much heating, I have smart trvs and so when bedrooms need some heat in the depths of winter I am able to do so without heating the whole house unnecessarily. But at the moment, it’s fine. I keep a close eye on the temperature and the costs etc. we wouldn’t be able to manage financially if I was any less frugal, and that’s what I’m trying to impart to the op. She needs to be a lot more careful about what she’s spending.

Some people feel the cold more than others. Having spent years with no central heating that is the last thing I would skimp on. Being cold is miserable. You think you are saving money by not putting the heating on but your house will get damp etc. For the sake of your baby put the heating on! Just set the thermostat so if it goes below a certain point it comes on.

I agree with you on the car finance she has but not with putting her heating on.

I get what you mean about Netflix, but if you are struggling for money then anything that you don't need and can't afford, is a luxury. Lots of people get by with just freeview type tv because they can't afford anything else.

Download the MSE budget planner and enter everything onto there.

Look at how much convenience foods you buy (if any), and also if you buy coffees, lunch out etc, as all that is luxuries not essentials.

Clothing - only needs to be bought when outgrown or worn out, same with shoes.

See if you can drop a brand in all your supermarket shopping and shop in the cheapest supermarket that you can get to.

Every single thing that you buy - ask yourself do I actually need this? Do you need a new jumper, do you need a new coat?

See if you have anything that you can sell on vinted, use a cashback shopping website, there are lots of things you can do to bring in a little bit more.

I agree with PP too, don't compare yourself with others. As a single parent we had a lot of cheap caravan holidays while DD grew up, while others went abroad on All Inclusive etc. Most of them were paid for with credit cards.

The fancy cars, on finance, the fancy clothes, hair, nails, all on credit cards and all completely unnecessary.

It is hard OP. I remember those days but hang in there. The nursery fees will reduce before you know it.
Don't compare your situation to others. I used to get upset about the holidays and home improvements other people could afford and our single parent family couldn't, but years later I realised that some of those people were living on credit cards and mortgage equity.

Our council tax is more than yours too. I think you need to sit down and literally look at every single expense and see how you can bring it down. On that wage, you should not be struggling to the extent you are with only a 2 person household in my opinion.

And if you can’t afford your heating on, you need to stop putting it on quite frankly. The cost of living crisis means many of us haven’t yet had our heating on, and I’ve got a 7m old baby. We are wrapping up and heating the person as much as possible. So try that too and that also may free up a little money each month.

Did you read my post? We as a couple bring in a LOT less than you, with three children and a higher mortgage. You need to be more frugal. By a lot. Starting with the ridiculous car fee you’re paying each month. And then little by little cutting other costs, for example phone bill going to sim only, as I said I’m currently paying £1.10 per month for my mobile phone. We get Disney free. We pay £4.99 for Netflix. I check prices of things and switch us often, for example gas and electric etc. there’s no reason why with a single parent household earning what you do that you should be struggling to the extent you are. You are mismanaging your finances.

Will your ex not contribute a bit more?

in my opinion you’re unable to pay £4.99 comfortably each month because you’re mismanaging your money elsewhere.
you could cut costs drastically in a lot of areas, as many posters including my self have said. But you haven’t responded to those, only to dole out more pity that Netflix is too expensive for you. If you’re paying more than £4.99 for Netflix that’s the kind of mismanaging of money I’m talking about.

@Unfff
Why isn't your ex paying half the nursery fees + CMS?

But that's not including bills is it?

I think your money management skills need refreshing

Post-grad loans are still paid at a percentage of salary rate aren't they? Or do you mean you took a private loan?

Ridiculous - sorry OP get a grip

Have you looked at your specific bills? £50 per month is a lot for water rates. We only pay £24. If you’re not already on a water meter, consider getting one - our water bill halved over night.

Similarly, are you on the best deal for gas and electricity? Worth checking as prices have changed a lot recently and there are now some better deals out there.

Are you claiming the single person discount for Council Tax?

I’m going to say it again - fathers need to fund half the nursery costs and then have maintenance costs added. The reality is all you get is half of nursery paid for and nothing towards food, clothes, utilities, travel to & from nursery, activities etc etc. It’s ridiculous this is on the mother to pay for and sort out.

Cheese

after the essentials given above you got 1000 left, how is that not enough to live on? food and treats and clothes for 2 people does not cost 1000 a month.

you need to do some budgeting and cutting nonessentials like netflix new clothes for yourself and lower your food bill if its too high. you got lots of spare money, some people barely bring home half of what you do and do not get any child maintenance at all and manage.

You get £2000 from the state, for a disability? I'm surprised at the amount. How does government assess such claims? Not suggesting you are not deserving, asking for a family member

@TheSpoonyNavyReader Why is it your concern, it does not affect you. I am not asking you to fund my car. I have explained that it’s big enough for all my children, I live in a rural area and I like it.

If your big ugly SUV hits me, I am far more likely to be injured.

Your big ugly SUV also causes air pollution, which is part of the reason why I have ongoing respiratory issues.

It is more difficult for me to see past your big ugly SUV, both when I am driving and when I am walking.

You driving your big ugly SUV creates a market demand for more big ugly SUVs, which means I will have less choice when I have to replace my car because the market demand means that manufacturers will only be selling big ugly SUVs.

Therefore, it does affect me and it is my concern.

Really tough. Nursery is the big problem. When will your costs reduce?? Hang in there

With all due respect, there are many people who don’t even earn up to half of what you’re getting and they’re not on MN complaining. Sorry to break it to you but your post is giving “first world problems” vibes because you’re not focusing on what you do have/achieved but more on what you don’t have - which is what? A nice coat? Would you rather be homeless but wearing a nice coat? Would you rather not be able to afford your child’s nursery, but at least you have some disposable income for a holiday? You need to perhaps see things from another point of view and maybe be a bit more thankful 😊