To struggle on this salary?

It's a good wage you're on, if there was 2 of you on that salary you would be well off. But you're in a single parent household so it's just scraping by. People wouldn't be jumping on you so hard if you were a double parent household earning £1600 each.

Agree with this. £3600 on car finance plus tax, insurance etc and yet you can't have a jumper without thinking hard about it? I think you're prioritising the wrong things.

If you hadnt had kids you would have more income

otherwise you need to suck it up and spend less turn your heating off eat less go out less

You earn more a lot more than me so you arent trying hard enough to be frugal in my opinion

Claim Uc on 3100 after tax? Are you joking?

Yes it sucks. Will be easier at 3yo when your child gets their 30 free hours, and then easier again when they start school.

I’ve always found it better to buy a second hand car (for say £4k) than pay car payments. It would only have to last just over a year and you’d be better off. They usually last 4 or 5 years. Car payments are a trap I think. I don’t know why people seem to be gravitating towards it more these days.

Start putting a bit away each month is you don't already, for holidays, Christmas, treat days, home repairs.

You have £1k disposable income after major bills, what do you need to pay from that...

Food for you and toddler
Insurance
Petrol
Clothes
Haircuts
Toiletries
Any memberships or subscriptions?

I think your feelings are valid. Costs of living are outrageous. I echo PPs in that nursery fees aren’t forever, that will be a big chunk back when you don’t have to pay all that. Sending solidarity!

How long left do you have on student loan. I really noticed the difference when I’d paid that off (although I’m stupidly now using that to make a car payment). Also shift to wraparound from nursery will free up money when that happens.

I am also someone who has a decent salary and can rarely afford holidays. I think it’s a mixture of debt, cheap holidays and family help for those who can afford it - or they’re just massively cutting back elsewhere in the budget.

It sucks overall, but personally I think £300 monthly on a car is really high, could you change it to something cheaper? I earn a similar amount and I’ve never even considered paying out that much for a car.

I usually read these and it's down to poor budgeting but not in your case. It sounds like high housing costs and childcare that's crippling you.

Can you do anything about the car finance?

Is the student loan payment correct? I'm on £32k and pay less than £10 a month on my student loan.

Is the £3100 before or after tax?

There is plenty not included there- council tax, tv licence, car, food, electric (only heating up there) phone bill and netflix was mentioned but not included in total, home insurance

This - everyone struggles in the nursery years, it will get better OP.

obviously if you stopped working you would have far far less money which would be much worse.

i agree that it’s not that bad but you (rightly) expect a few treats after hard work- they’ll come when the nursery fees go.

Nursery is short term. It’ll feel like more once you’re through that stage… until uni stage 😭 dc are expensive.

You need to complete the budget spreadsheet on the Money Saving expert website and write down every single outgoing, weekly, monthly and yearly and this will help illustrate where it’s going, how much you could potentially save and if there’s anywhere that you could cut back (include every single thing like green bin payments for council, boiler service, birthday party for your child, opticians apt, dentist, Mother’s Day gifts for nana etc).

This will also help illustrate how much more you will have left when you’re not paying nursery fees, but you will need to factor in before and after school care possibly and cover in the school holidays

The child's dad should be paying half of the childcare costs IMO.

Everyone struggles in the nursery years. Or they did until the funded hours was extended. It's the choice parents have to make. Won't be for long

It infuriates me that a single mum ends up paying the whole of childcare costs , because she has the child on all working days. Meanwhile, the father gets by with what I call a token contribution

Nursery isn't forever. Crippling yes but it will get better. Your mortgage will reduce too. You just need to hold in there

You get £3,500 per month (take-home pay plus CM). Your mortgage, car loan, student loan, nursery, water, and electricity bills bring that down to £1000.

It's still £1000 left. It's not nothing, is it! Obviously there are other bills to come out of that, but they won't be adding up to £1000.

It's just what having a child in nursery means. You have a good amount to live on - you're just spending it on life.

Op

I see your point. Everything is so god damn expensive.

The govt in this country has found a great way to swipe all our money one way or another!

You have checked that you can’t get help with childcare costs via UC?

Can you not get any child benefit, free childcare hours or tax free childcare?

First I commiserate. It does feel like very hard work for not a lot of return and I think everyone would love some money left over for fun.

But it might help a bit to reframe your thinking, in that you dont have nothing to show for it. You have a home, a car and nursery and heating. These are big essential things, that life would be uncomfortable without. Nursery is a childcare professional in a setting, set up for child development. What a great thing to be able to give to your child. And before long that cost will drop.

Is that your salary before or after tax/pension deductions? What’s your actual take home pay?

. I just feel like working is pointless at the moment.

Well then your math ain't mathing because you'd have even less coming in if you weren't working.

Working isn't pointless if its paying for your home, food and bills childcare. You're just expecting a relatively affluent lifestyle off one not especially high salary with childcare costs coming out of it.