To struggle on this salary?

It is shit. Everything costs a fortune and nothing lasts. To the pp wondering why people basically ‘rent’ expensive cars on pips it’s because if they go wrong they cost so much to repair you’re better not owning them. Gone are the days you can tinker with a car on your drive at the weekend, you’re now down at the specialist garage and it’s £100s to diagnose the problem and then £1000s to fix it. Small simple cars might be worth buying still but maybe not if they’re electric as the tech still needs to mature.

Op I had friends putting nursery fees on 0% credit cards to get through this bit and these were highly qualified professional women earning more than the median. It is a really hard time of life to be in.

hair and beauty appointment £350 😆
My hair is £80 for roots + toner with cut and finish and my eyebrow wax is £12
That’s it for me , can’t justify more than that .
And £500 on bedding !

As I have said we are lucky that we can afford it… The Tesco shop was picking bits up like washing powder, dishwasher tablets, a couple of bottles of wine.

The bedding was a couple of extra deep fitted sheets and 2x duvet set and pillows from M&S. Nothing extravagant but what we needed.

Car is a Volvo…

Glad your hair and beauty only costs you £120, we live outside London, full head of highlights and a cut is £335 this is the norm.

£3100 a month after tax is massive compared to the average salary, so struggling on this would mean you are overspending somewhere. There is something you have not told us.

Two things jump out:

• Student loan deductions should be coming out of your payslip before you are paid, so I am not sure why you are paying £300 on student loans after you have been paid.

• A £300 monthly car payment is excessive. Buy a second hand car outright for about £5k - £8k. A-segment and B-segment cars are appropriate for the overwhelming majority of people, and if you are driving anything bigger than this, it's wasting money.

They’d have to have been woven by fucking unicorns…

Can't you get a car that you don't have to pay monthly for?

There are three things on your list that should stop / reduce in time. Childcare, student loan and car finance. How long until the first of these happen? Hopefully not too long.

It is the childcare that is really killing you. How long until 30 hours / starting school.

Sometimes you just have to cling on knowing that things will get easier.

And - yes - check out child benefit - your wages imply that you should get it - especially as the allowed earnings is now £60k rather than the £50k that most of us have in our head.

But just cling on. I remember when ds (our second child) started school and we suddenly seemed really rich as our biggest bill just disappeared overnight!

Best thing I did when kids were in nursery was ask the bank to let me switch to an interest only mortgage.

meant we were comfortable during those nursery years, and only added a couple of years to the overall term. We’ve remortgaged since so the impact long term was low.

We're they woven with the manes of unicorns?

I had huge fuel bills at my previous address and complained. The energy company was wrong! £150 a month sounds enormous, my bills were more than that and I was on my own, had I not complained and they not investigated I would have been in a right pickle. Therefort alle, look into that one.

I don't think there is much that can be done about the rest. I am sure some other people will come up with suggestions, eg take a lodger or something, but not all suggestions are feasible (I would never have a lodger). You could perhaps let a room through air b'n'b occasionally, if you have the room. That would bring in some extra cash and it wouldn't be all the time.

I'm so sorry. I can remember being very hard up years ago and it was so wearing. I ('we' at that time, I am now widowed and retired), felt permanently anxious and so demoralised.

All I can say is it doesn't last forever, things will get better.

Good luck.

2 new extra deep fitted sheets and 2x new bedding sets. Came to £500. We are lucky to be able to afford it, but it was eye opening M&S if you want to know..

Go to a charity shop for bedding.

Your sums don’t add up. You should have enough for treats.

Can you write out exactly what your outgoings are as it doesn’t make sense.

I think car leases are the biggest rip off, at least with hire purchase you own the cars at the end. I have a friend who moans about bills but has 2 cars on lease paying £800 a month. Over a year that is £9,600 and that's £96,000 over 10years. If they have bought 2 cars for £15k each (decent used cars, low mileage) they would've saved £70,000 over 10yrs.
I bought a hire purchase car for £8995 and I've had it 15years. People don't need a shiny new cars to pretend to look wealthy every 3yrs. Most of those people's bombing around in Land Rovers own nothing and never will. It's all an illusion. Work smart, don't work hard!

Filled up a car for £150? What kind of car do you have? Mine’s £30 for a full tank. When I had a bigger car ford focus size it was max £50 for a full tank. Is it a Range Rover?

how people do it? easy- get a smaller car it will cost less.

same with bedding £500? From where? M&S do duvet set for £50.

£350 for hair and beauty? Again costs me £120 max.

even bloody Tesco £230. I do my weekly shop at Ocado and it costs around £120 for four of us plus dog.

you don’t know how people do it? There are much less extravagant options.

How old is your child?

It's worth remembering that paying into s pension and mortgage means you are building assets. It won't seem like it now but you will be so grateful in a few years.

Once nursery fees end you will have more breathing space.

Op we had nursery bills between 800-£900 and we are now only paying £100 due to dc turning 3 and getting funded hours.
hang in there nursery fees won’t be forever and hopefully give some room to maybe buy a little something now and then x

Filled up 1 car for 150 quid? ….just be a big car…..my car is 60 quid and full ( 1.5 golf)
my hair costs 70 quid for half hi lites and cut and blow…never have beauty treatments
would never spend 500 quid on bedding…l.think you are doing just fine

Totally get how frustrating this must feel!

Childcare seems extortionate I wish there was more help with this. I’m assuming the cost of wraparound will be less when they start school? So at least you will be a bit less squeezed then.

What’s your mortgage rate and how long left? Is there any chance of getting a better deal which could reduce your payments?

Does your child’s dad not contribute either?

By the time you have spent it all you don't have anything left ...

It sounds like you have around 1000 a month to cover food and savings and fun? Yet you can't afford a jumper?

£1000 to me sounds like a lot, so clearly sone of this is expectations - you have high expectations, perhaps you had quite a well off childhood and are only now seeing that most people don't have that kind of luxuries ?

Write down what you do spend on. Find out what the average spend is on those things. Work out what your priorities are because being able to buy anything on a whim isn't normal life

Thing si, if you stop working, you will not be returning to this level of salary a couple of years from now. So it's not exactly pointless.

Hang in there. It's tight but you are paying towards an asset (property), and aren't going into a negative balance.

I thought this too. It's how I frame it for myself. It is hard OP, these early years are a kicker and everything feels so expensive at the moment, but try to keep your chin up ❤️

Five HUNDRED pounds on new bedding or is that a typo?

Should go to ikea. The 35 quid set I bought 10 years is still going strong.

It deffo is a high salary, and once those nursery fees are gone and you’ve paid off your car you will start feeling the benefits. You’re in an expensive part of life