To struggle on this salary?

You've got a lot to show for it though! You've got fancy bedding and a tumble drier and fuel

I also spent, £400 on a tumble drier, fuel £150.

My point is that 1k is not a lot anymore and can easily be spent and have not much to show for it, the OP has come on to be meet with idiots saying she should be rolling in it.

Everyone is getting so worked up about £500 on bedding, that over 2-3 years is less than 75p a day.

I think people need a reality check and think that 1k is not a lot on food, clothes, days out, hair, and petrol for someone working hard as a single parent.

Your salary is around 50k? Which is the equivalent to about 40k in 2020 and 27k in the early 00s.

@FirstTimer888 you make some really good points and yes you and many other single parents have a lot to be proud of!

Could I ask why does your ex only pays £260 maintenance? Is he on a NMW job? I’m just baffled by these super low maintenance payments.

OP you’re doing brilliantly andabsolutely hang on in there. You’re paying a mortgage (building an asset) and presumably paying into a pension (that asset will be worth as much if not more than your home at some point). This is an amazing investment in your future and that of your DC.

I have been where you are - 15 years on and I am glad I stuck at it. God knows where the time has gone, but it has flown by. We are more financially secure for those sacrifices. And my mum was right - those 0-5 years where I felt guilty/strung out/resentful that I couldn’t buy anything ‘nice’, she always said kids cost more and need you more when they’re teenagers. For us and our family, she was right.

@Unfff I am in a very similar position to you (£3300 take home and £260 CM; £1400 mortgage and £500 nursery), and feel like I could have written your post. It’s so disheartening to feel like I’ve worked so hard to build my career to a pretty decent level but yet still feel like I’m constantly having to watch what I spend.

In my more positive moments I tell myself:

1. I should be proud of everything that I can give my DD - this is all down to the hard work I put in before having her. And this allowed me to walk away from an emotionally abusive relationship.
2. This really difficult financial period will pass - nursery fees will stop / come down, and I’ll have the option to take up FT again
3. By staying in my career I’m maximising my earning potential / future promotion opportunities rather than standing still or going backwards
4. I’m setting my DD a fantastic example of what can be achieved as a single woman. And even if she was a DS it would be setting him to hold women like us in high regard and respect.

Keep hanging in there, you’re doing a great job providing for your LO. You should be proud.

(now going to save this as a pep talk for myself in the future 😉)

OP, how much is your take home pay? Is it 3100 after ALL payslip deductions or is it 3100 in your bank and then you’re somehow paying another £300 to student finance? 🤔

Single parents who have quite a decent pay don’t really fare well in the UK. They get little or no help and have to pay for most things themselves.

That’s why some just choose to live a slower life and limit their working hours or not work at all and stay at home with their kids until they’re at school. Or at least they used to when the old benefits allowed that (not sure how Uc works) - and in some ways I can’t blame them.

one massive issue is the non-resident parents ( fathers usually tbh ) not paying enough or anything at all. How much does he earn? Why is he only paying £400 towards his child?

It’s no secret that wages have not risen in line with cost of living since around 2010, so we are mostly all severely underpaid and it obviously got worse for some homeowners with the Truss government etc.

In my circles £500 is a drop in the ocean.

It was a one off purchase that will last for a couple of years, I could have gone to Asda and spent £200 but it would not have lasted as long as the ones we have were cheap one from last year.

Calling people morons says more about you than me…

How old is your child?

You will soon have that extra £800 a month.

You’ll soon hopefully be able to the car finance payments too.

I do understand what you mean.
You get more money than me and I’m working very hard to try and earn a better wage but at the minute I’m basically working hard for nothing.
I’m weighing up whether to do a postgrad degree to up my earnings but then I’ll have to repay it.

If you’re really struggling, could you look into reducing your mortgage payments into your child goes to school?

300 quid on clothes and shoes is a choice too. It's not a pair of school shoes and joggers from Asda is it...

I choose to spend £££ on organic clothing brands for my child. But I'm not here trying to justify how unaffordable life is whilst stealth boasting luxury purchases with faux sympathy for the OP...

(PS I drive a £4000 diesel ford galaxy, £90 quid to fill and 50mpg - highly recommend)

@TheSpoonyNavyReader As a jogger on finance would cost more than my XC90 per month.

False. The Jogger is a much cheaper car than the XC90.

I'm also bemused as to why you are paying for cars on finance, when you clearly have the salary to buy a car outright. I have bought all of my cars outright and I am sure I earn far less than you do.

We have another car but I did not include that in my calculations.

Oh, you do have 2 cars?

So why does 1 car need to hold all 6 people? This is strange.

PS a Jogger costs £70 to fill up but would cost more in MPG for the travelling I do, as diesel works out cheaper over long distances.

There is a diesel version of the Jogger, and many other cars...

Though why on earth are you driving long distances with 6 people? Sounds like a strange living/working arrangement.

I commute a long distance to work too, but I do that in a B-segment car. That's because I just need to get my own ass to work and there's no need to drive anything bigger.

But you're driving long distances with all 6 people? What on earth...

I was going to say this. I thought my childcare would never and then they went to secondary school, and poof, I had money again.

How much of that £1000 is actually taken up by petrol depends on how she chooses to live her life.

A couple of years? For £119?! Our £30 Asda bedding set has been going for 5 years and is showing no signs of wear.
If I had to pay £100+ I'd expect a LOT more than a couple of years' use.

£500 on bedding is not helpful to the OP. £350 on beauty - wtf. I get a cut and highlights from my home hairdresser for £85.

OP, childcare is so so expensive. I sympathise highly having had 2 kids go through nursery (one is still there, but gets 30 free hours now, so fees have reduced). Are you using tax free childcare? Also,you should be entitled to some free hours.

It's possibly some of the replies. We've had posters saying they understand, then how they spend £100s on bedding and hair and beauty treatments. Another saying their husband sold a watch he didn't use to make the mortgage payment... realistically, how many people have such a valuable watch lying around that they can sell for so much?

What OP has left over isn't mega money, but it's rather disingenuous to class her as really struggling. I grew up in such circumstances for a period, and my mum wasn't worrying about getting a car on finance or replacing her coat. I'm not saying OP has it easy at all, but on that amount she shouldn't be struggling to survive.

I have been jumped on for what we spent in a day, it was not a boast but just to show, how much things cost now

Yeahhhh but it's not though, is it?

Most people do not spend £500 on 'new bedding'. I mean, are you really unaware of this? Really?

You're either a total moron because you're completely detached from most people's reality OR you're a total moron because you just really wanted internet strangers to know how much your bedding cost.

Either way, you did not come across well to any of the Internet strangers reading your post btw 😂

No one says it goes as far
But it's still a great amount spare

I think people bragging about spending way over the odds for normal stuff really just sows discontent with people who do have enough to be happy if they could just break out of the capitalist rat trap

The bedding will last a couple of years, so worth it…

Glad someone can see that 1K will not go far.

Ahhh you finally have got it, 1k does not go far over a month…

Where have I said that it does not cost a lot.

Poster on here like yourself think 1k goes as far as it did 10 years ago. Think about how your costs have gone up in the last couple of years but real term wages have not.

Things are incredibly expensive, not that I buy luxury bedding 🤣 but even getting some new clothes/shoes for my son because he's grown has cost me 300 quid this month. Food is 500+ a month and we don't have meals out. 70 quid on dog foo, my husband will have 2 tanks of fuel this month so that's 1k gone just there 🤷‍♀️

Why is this funny? The system encourages the race to the bottom.

@Unfff hopefully once your little one is at school, things will start to ease off a bit. Hang in there x

Yeah it sucks.

Do you get free hours at nursery? What age are your DC? Once at school your costs will drop a bit so hang in there.

Can you get a cheaper car?

You should get child benefit, are you claiming that?

I have said that 1k does not go far anymore, I have examples and said that we were lucky that we can afford it.

We have been on the bone of our arses at lots of points.

Posters on here see 1k left after essential bills and think that’s a fortune, when in fact it’s not. Do not be angry with me but the large multi nationals that are making huge profits and the previous government.

It's super king size m&s bedding. Of course it costs a lot