To struggle on this salary?

It’s a mixture of PIP, Universal Credit, Carers Allowance and Child benefits. I had to jump through hoops to get help, I needed proof from Drs, Therapists & statements from my kids and family for my PIP to prove I needed the help I said I did and even with all that I had to go to a tribunal to get the allowance I did. I advise your family member to get help from citizens advice but I warn you it’s a demeaning and stressful procedure.

Are you signed up for tax-free childcare? Something up think about if you’re not already. One of the only benefits of earning too high for any other help!

I am not the one who is a single parent! I was referring to the OP. You came on her thread but you’re comparing apples and oranges. Your situation is clearly challenging but it isn’t comparable because I don’t think anyone on here would suggest it’s financially worse for OP than someone on benefits for health and/or disability reasons.
I was not going to pass comment on whether you have worked. It’s irrelevant. The state should support any person who needs it - and you clearly do - even if they have never been able to work.

You're sat on your backside not working, OP is grafting and taking care of a child. I would pipe down with the judgements if I were you.

Surely the point is that she has a good income but she also has relatively high, but largely temporary, expenditure. She isn't struggling on this salary at all. She just doesn't have quite as much disposable income to spend on 'fun stuff' as she would like. It sounds like she's doing pretty well, all things considered. Life throws some curve balls sometimes (I'm assuming she didn't plan on being a single parent), but feeling like a victim of circumstances is a choice and she can choose to count her blessings instead - it will make her feel richer if she stops focusing on monetary value. In a couple of years time, her outgoings should reduce and she'll have more disposable income.

She has a small child for whom she has primary financial responsibility, do you?

So?

The OP has £3100 + child maintenance £400 = £3500.

Mortgage = £900
Council tax = £150
Car finance = £300
Student loan = £300
Nursery = £800
Heating = £150
Water = £50
Total = £2650

She also has unlisted bills such as mobile phone, broadband, car insurance, car tax, etc.

And she's also supporting her child.

£850 per month isn't much to pay for all those bills, the costs associated with a full-time job and also supporting her daughter.

Your income is actually very similar to the OP's but you're determined to paint her as somehow feckless and ungrateful compared to yourself.

Just out of interest, how many kids are you supporting on your income? Do you live alone or do you have other people contributing to your home's finances?

I know, we have a mortgage and claim UC. People presume you (general) are wealthy and shouldn't be claiming benefits if you have a mortgage. 😄🙄 I was just clearing up that UC often only pays some of the rent and the tenant has to pay the rest.

I pay around £16 each for my pillow cases. They are 800 thread count Egyptian cotton. It must be the good stuff that you are buying!

You steamrolled into the thread dumping your judgement on the OP and are now clutching your pearls because I made assumptions about your finances.

If you read the OP's original post, you'll see that you're in an almost identical financial situation - but she works full-time and will therefore have additional work related outgoings.

Perhaps it's you that needs to stop making assumptions.

If she is on UC she will probably some of her rent and some of her council tax. UC often only pay a percentage of the rent.

My ex pays £147 a month child maintenance, and has never contributed towards childcare or helped towards school uniform or anything extra at all. He has a good accountant and does cash in hand work to hide some income. Lots of exes don't see it as their problem and resent even paying the bare minimum.

@Unfff yes, it's a struggle as a single parent, but as someone who didn't get a degree and is stuck on an entry level salary as a result, I promise it was definitely worth getting the education and it really is worth working. I will be stuck renting forever as, despite being able to cover my rent, no bank will give me a mortgage. Your mortgage will end one day and is such a good investment for your future. The childcare years are hellish but are also not forever. It feels like you're working for nothing now but you will reap the rewards later. You just need to hang in there for a bit and maybe try to look at things a little differently. You have warmth, food, a roof - these are not nothing. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all, and I'm not going to compare lifestyles as mine is a little different to yours, but it's all relative and you have certainly earned it.

That is true as well. Although to be fair people who buy houses to live in aren't really the problem. It's the ones who stay in London and buy up a portfolio of properties all over the country to rent out as slums that are the problem!

"i’m on £61,000 less than her"

No you're not. The OP is earning around £50k.

And your £1200 a month is after your rent and Council Tax has been paid by the taxpayer (people such as the OP).

The OP only has £1000 after paying her mortgage and bills, so you're in very similar financial situations.

I still don't understand why the ex doesn't pay half the nursery fees or have to arrange his own childcare for 50% of the time?

Is this normal that men just pay the minimum Child maintenance payments but obfuscate responsibility for childcare?

I'm confused by the student loan repayments of £300 a month? That seems like an awful lot for a that salary - are you overpaying if so maybe cut this down a bit?

Perhaps one of the things to consider is not cutting on expenses that would make life even more miserable, but strategizing ways to earn more, or making a plan to have a job that makes you smile.
YANBU to me, life should more than bills and duties, personal satisfaction should also be included

That is why people space out their kids.