SAHM + Nanny

Do people expect you to pay the nanny not to work when you are on maternity leave or to let her go from your employment?
Surely what you are doing is best for you, your children and your nanny. Your return to work is going to be much less stressful than it could be, and you are giving your nanny job security.

Yes I thought exactly the same.

I did this (23 month gap) and fondly remember having valuable one to one time with the baby while our Nanny + toddler were at the park and taking the toddler swimming while our Nannie cuddled the baby in the sports centre cafe!

Everyone's a winner!

Don’t feel bad! I know many SAHP’s who have nanny, we know one who has a live-in. Most would if they could afford it and had the space!

They’re jealous as hell - so am I so I feel qualified to tell you it’s absolutely their problem not yours!

Op I’ve been kosher for being a sahm, then judged (by a lot of the same people) for working ft with kids. People judge away but not one will help you out, or present you with viable options, and as others said NOBODY says it to men. Plus offer and of them a person to help them out they’d grab for it!!

Ignore any judgement, we had help while the children were young. No reason to suffer if you can

It's nobody else's business. Two babies means hard work and you are going back to work in six months. It's a good idea to have this time to get to know your nanny before you leave your children in their care for longer.

I say, "Good for you". You can afford it and nobody should begrudge you (they probably would have liked similar).

Not quite the same but I’m a SAHM and my son goes to nursery 2 days a week and has since 12 months. 2ndbaby will do the same probably earlier. I can’t parent 24/7, it’s exhausting and I don’t enjoy it day in day out. People think we are nuts ‘wasting money’ but it works for us and we can afford it. Don’t feel bad about the decisions that work for your family.

You aren’t a SAHM, you’re on maternity leave.

Firing your nanny for the period of maternity leave is a lot of hassle if you can afford to avoid it.

Everyone I know kept their older child in nursery when on mat leave - maybe dropped a day or two.

Finding the right childcare is a total pain in the arse.

Everyone I know kept their older toddler in nursery to not lose their place, to keep them in the same routine and to have one on one time with their baby like they did with the first. Same thing. Crack on!

'But why mummy?', 'why?', 'whhhyyyyyy?'

So you're employing someone who you like, giving them a lovely job, bringing more joy/love into your children's lives, remaining less stressed and enjoying your peace?

Sounds dreadful! 😂

I'm envious, if I had the money I'd pay someone to just answer the questions my dc seem to need to constantly ask me.

Pffttt ... enjoy your lifestyle and your nanny and ignore any mean comments. Honestly, it's none of people's business but I can totally relate. I have had a nanny on and off for a total of 6 years and I very rarely mention i have a nanny because people just have unhealthy curiosity and a lot of opinions on a situation they have nothing to do with. It's your life and your choice ... also it's your money and you decide how to spend them!

I think anyone with a real issue is probably jealous if you really dig down. I had 2u2 and really struggled some days. I have no recollection of a lot of that period of time and remember crying at soft plays and in car parks because it was just too hard and I just felt so shit and so guilty. If a nanny had been an option, especially a person I really liked and fitted into the family I wouldn't even have hesitated

Pretty sure 99% of woman with a toddler and newborn would be very very happy to have a nanny around to help. They absolutely would do this if they were in a position to be able to.
Just being able to go to the gym while on maternity leave is amazing enough!

I'm jealous...... and so are the people you refer to as friends

OP women get judged whatever they do. It's none of their business. Hope this will cheer you up

I don't think it's necessarily always jealousy, but it is judgmental. I personally don't find the idea of a nanny attractive, it wouldn't be something I'd be jealous of, but I wouldn't judge another woman for choosing to have one. Everyone is different. There are accommodations and choices I make in my life for my needs that other people don't understand. That's fine, we all have our own unique lives.

It’s nobody else’s business, you do what suits you and what you can afford.

They are just jealous bastards!

It's a very common attitude. I think it's lovely to have someone help you parent during the day, so much easier to deal with toddler tantrums with another caring adult.

I'd judge you more for using an apostrophe in "nannie's".

Only you know if you have quality time with your DC

its no one else’s business.

a really good nanny is like hens teeth, if I was in your position I would totally keep the nanny, as you are going back to work. Your DC will bond with them as well as with you, they are a primary care giver. Keep the nanny and enjoy, being aware of your privilege.

kids at that age don’t need to ‘socialise’ in nursery, they can get plenty in activities with you/ DH/ the nanny. They will get plenty when older at school. Nurseries at that age are purely to enable parents to work.

id of been delighted to be in your position and would only be happy for friends to be able to do that. Perhaps a bit of envy, but that’s my problem not theirs

You aren’t a SAHM, your on maternity leave and it would be madness to let your nanny go just for maternity leave.

My DS went to nursery full time when I was on maternity leave with my twins.

Keep the nanny get new friends.
I’d imagine as you and the nanny have both been caring for the children you’ll have a smoother transition when you return to work. To the children life won’t be really different. Win/ win all round.