So hard having a baby

I have to say, I'm not a "sunshine and roses" sort of parent, and I was having a miserable conversation with DH this morning about how in hindsight I ought to have stayed childless (there's context, it's irrelevant).

But - you're still recovering physically from the birth, you're sleep deprived, I'd wager your nipples hurt, expected to navigate a whole new social scene with "mums", coffee mornings etc, mourning the loss of your working identity, all while singing Wind the Bobbin Up and being woken at 2h intervals. It's a lot. Things will settle down.

I would say, try to tentatively reach for things that you would enjoy, since the baby doesn't know whether it's Tuesday or Thanksgiving. Put baby in a sling and go for a walk with a podcast on headphones, get a coffee and wander round a gallery... whatever is most "you" that you can do now, do. If that's resting at home with the baby on your lap and a boxset on tv, that's good too. It's all ok. Things will settle.

I don’t think anything can really prepare you for having your first baby, so it is a shock to the system for many women. The common overwhelming feeling of being responsible for this tiny bundle of joy is quite something!

It’s the most amazing thing in the world but it’s daunting at the same time as you wonder when you’ll get time to yourself ever again (you will I promise!)

The good news is that it definitely gets easier. There is nothing quite like the exhaustion of having a new baby but as the weeks and months progress, they do sleep longer and that alone really helps.

Many women feel like this OP and it’s definitely harder when you have no family support.

Good luck OP and remember, you’re doing an amazing job!

It is hard.

Is your DH doing his bit so you can get as much sleep as possible?

Speak to your HV or GP about the depression, that's normal but there are things to help and best to catch it early if it's PND.

Keep trying with the mum's at coffee groups. Lots and lots of mums feel the same and are looking for a friend.

It does get better. Look at you! You're a proper grown up with a husband and a baby and everything....at one point you were a 12 week old, hanging off your mum's boob making her question her life choices. That's where we all started.