To think that her saying she’s a single parent…

and you are a SAHP? Consider yourself very lucky that you literally have no idea what it means to be a ai single parent. I get that you are hormonal, but you really need to check yourself here.

...before we had dd1, my parents had her one day a week. Now we have dd2, I am not getting any break at all.

What does this mean? Whom did your parents have one day a week? Do they still do that?

You need to get a grip. When I had my second child, I had a 2.5 year old and a visiting MIL.

I had no help from my parents since having my first child as I was resilient enough to never lean on them on a regular basis. Literally the only times they have helped have been in an emergency or if I was working from their residence so was still doing at least half the childcare whilst juggling full time job. My husband also doesn't do much with the childcare either.

I do all cooking, cleaning, laundry as well.

Stop moaning and get on with it.

Yes and my parents should give me money because they are buying things for my nieces and nephews and we just have a cat.

I think you've had a bit of a hard time on the thread, OP. What you're really saying is that you're tired and could do with a bit more help right now.

Can you have a conversation with your parents/sister where you just say that you're exhausted with the new baby and could do with a bit of extra help short term? It's not an unreasonable ask.

IMO, there is no obligation for GP's to do any childcare so whatever they offer should be seen as a bonus.

And if they had existing arrangements for childcare with your sisters child and your 3 year old, I don't think it's necessarily fair to expect them to change all of that because you decided to have another child. GP's have earned some free time together too so just because they might be available on, say, a Sunday morning, that doesn't mean they are obliged to give it up to provide childcare.

It's tough, I know. We Iive overseas with DD1 aged 4 and second baby on the way and have no family on either side around us so it's 100% all on us....it was totally our choice to have kids though.

Once a month we normally get a babysitter so we can have a 'date night' but that'll stop for a while when the new baby arrives. Will that be an option eventually?

You need to sort looking after your kids with your DH rather than rely on GP's or obsess on what you get compared to your sister. Consider any offer of childcare at all to be a bonus and be grateful for it

I wonder your sister might be feeling a little unhappy at the moment with her own situation. It seems like you both had daughters a few months apart, you have gone on to have another (congratulations!) but she has split with her daughter's father and could be feeling like she won't have what you do. Maybe she hoped for a 3 year gap too, or thought you'd have babies together again, and she might need a little extra emotional support from your parents right now.

I hope the pair of you are both very appreciative of your parents' kind and generous CHOICE to afford you both some unpaid childcare, instead of making the poor buggers feel like a well chewed bone being snarled over by two dogs, who can't do right by anybody no matter how hard they try.

You both seem to be doing okay in the scheme of things, despite your circumstances, whether that's SAHP of two, or single, full time working mother of one. You could definitely be doing a lot worse, and there are drawbacks and trials to being a parent in most situations, because having fully dependent young ones is hard.

I am never getting a full day like my sister does

Do you realise how childish and whiny you sound here? You have two children, of course you will have less time than your dsis will have, even without the childcare issues.

welcome to being a parent of two children.

Try being a single mum who is also a carer to a disabled teen. You wanted two kids, be a parent and stop thinking its everyone elses job to do it.

But you have them both during the week? You haven't mentioned DD1 missing out on quality time then, so not sure why it's suddenly such an issue on a Saturday.

Whatever arrangements your parents come to with your sister, that's none of your business and you can't dictate when someone else has your child.

This is a problem for you and DH to sort out between you.

Some would say you are very lucky, a DH who helps out, two kids and you stay home.

Feel blessed for what you have and don't envy what you don't have.

So maybe you should have stopped at 1 dc?

You need to try and look at the good things in your life, you have a supportive dh, you have 2 healthy dc.

These difficult times are not forever

OP, you are being unfair. You have a partner. He can keep an eye on the children while you have a bath, wash your hair, go to the loo, have a difficult phone call. He can do the weekly shop if you are exhausted or ill, or it's his turn. Ditto things around the house.

You and your partner should each give each other 3-4 hours at the weekend while one has DC and the other has a lie in or goes out to do what they need or want to do, without children in tow. If you do this every weekend, and both of you get a good long break like this, it will massively reduce the stress and exhaustion and running on empty feeling. DH and I did this and it was so helpful.

So go back to work and get stuff done in your lunch break as well. You seem very jealous of your sister, between mentioning she gets her hair/nails done, goes out on a Saturday night sometimes (shocker!) and earns more money than your DH. You chose to be a SAHP, and how bloody lovely for you that you get that choice! Your sister doesn’t. She gets all that stuff done in her lunch break because she HAS to.

And your husband does all dinners, the household tasks, takes the oldest child - sometimes BOTH children, and you’re still whining that you don’t have enough support?

You were also very naive to think you’d get alone time to swan off and do whatever you liked with a toddler and a newborn

Maybe go and get a job so you can have the lunch breaks you desire? Childcare costs loads, youll be working for practically zilch, as your DSis prob knows, and the logistics will be tough, and you have to leave work if children become unwell.. but your DSis has no choice.
If you prefer being a SAHM that's a you problem, not your sister's.

My friend said the exact same thing in your shoes OP. Her sister got all the family support and possibly took advantage. As PPs say, being the sole provider and nurse and bill payer and decision maker is extremely difficult and the mental load is significantly worse than a couple. Single mums do need more breaks, she also needs to foster friendships more and ( if she is interested) keep herself open to meeting a new partner. It's a very different perspective.

I do understand how stressful it is for you though. That's just parenthood, I never had much help with mine from family.

I reaise things are tricky with a newborn and if you are breastfeeding its not realistic to go out for a day. For now, your husband can take care of both the children while you have a day in bed with books and snacks (or whatever you like) and when the baby is a bit older then he can care for both while you have a day out with a friend or a weekend away and you can do the same so he can have a day out or a weekend away.

In time you can do it like a relay race. There's 15 months between my two and that's what me and my husband have always done Tag, you're it.

Then get a job and put your kids in childcare!? Being a SAHM is a lifestyle choice, if it doesn’t work for you then take the steps needed to get a job which involves an hour lunchbreak!

You also shouldn’t have had a second child if you wanted to be able to have time to yourself but also wanted DD1 to have undivided attention when your DH has her. You made a choice to have 2 kids but seem to resent the fact that obviously mean you now have to meet the needs of the baby as well as your DD1. Your Dsis only has one child so of course when someone else has her she gets that time to yourself, if you’d stopped at one you also could have free time whenever DD1 was with someone else.

I also think it’s the green eyed monster.

In this day and age, sadly, a SAHP is a luxury not many can afford.

In a few short years your children will be at school, old enough for kids clubs, and you will get your life back.

As it is, you should enjoy the luxury you have been given and not be opposed to your sister being given help.

Im going to assume you and your sister do not get along otherwise you would be helping each other out.

You and your husband chose to have 2 kids, it’s yours and his responsibility to cope with that. Your sister chose to have 1 child, but didn’t choose to be a single mum who has her child 90% of the time with no support, and only has 10% of support in general. At least you and your husband can hand the children off to each other on a daily basis, your sister only (reasonably) has 1 day, and then a few hours twice a week. Time that she spends maintaining the household, by your post. If she chooses to hire a babysitter and go out on a Saturday night, that’s her choice too.

Your parents owe you nothing. They’re choosing to help your sister because she does have it harder than you do. They’re all she has for a support network, you have your husband.

Ultimately, you sound very jealous that you’re not being prioritized despite having a completely different situation, and jealous that your sister is making different choices to you

Your parents' decision re what they want to prioritise is nothing to do with you. Work your arrangements for free time out with your husband.

Tbh from your posts it sounds like the problem is more that you have 2 children, one of them v small rather than what your sister is doing. Your partner can do the shopping or ye can get a babysitter on a Saturday like she does but it just doesn't work with the baby. I'm sure she's envious at times that you get to stay home with your children while she has to go to work and do all the household stuff too, everyone's life looks better from the outside

YABU- she is working full time AND a single parent?

she definitely needs the time more than you. you say she has childcare, but she is working/commuting in that time- not sitting on the sofa with a fag and cup of coffee!

You are a SAHP. I get that it’s hard- early years are hard. But you already have it 100x better than a huge number of mums who have what you do plus work to juggle.

your partner needs to step up. He can do Saturday mornings for you.

Your choice to have another child and also your choice to be a SAHM.

Your DH should look after both of his children if you want to do things on your own.

Your sister is single. She doesn't have the option of handing her child to her DP/DH. So your parents help her out.

Why can you not see where the problem is?

Did your parents or your sister force you to have a second child? Yes you are hormonal.