To think that her saying she’s a single parent…

It seems that your parents perceive your sister's situation as being harder as she is a single parent when in reality, she has more 'downtime' than people in your situation.

This sounds more of an issue with your DH than your DSis

I am a single mother with no parents, no support , only when my 5 year old is at school, plus my 5 year old and 3 year old are diagnosed with autism …. I still manage to go out nails and dentist etc. I take my children with me, yes it’s not easy but I’ve had to learn to be with my children as it was my choice to have them, they are mine, I have no support and cannot just drop them off. And wouldn’t wish to even if I did have support. We all need a break but while they are young it’s difficult at times. You sound entitled that your parents should just offer to watch your kids so you and your husband can have some time alone. It doesn’t always work that way. Your children will grow up, and it will get easier. If you can’t manage to take them to the nail shop and your husband can’t watch them while you do . It’s nobody’s fault. Especially not your sisters or your parents. My GP, dentist, nail shop, hairdressers etc are used to me coming with my children and have often witnessed them having autistic meltdowns. Which is difficult to manage, but not impossible, life is what you make it. My children come first in my life and while they are this young my life includes them every single day. I cannot stop doing what needs to be done because I have two children. I take my kids alone abroad because I literally have nobody else if I don’t get up and take them out nobody else will

Exactly this
Being a single.parent is hard. You do everything. Look after the child/work/cook/clean..there is no break.
I remember meeting friends on holiday and after a short while they commented that they never realised how much I had to do?! You do everything. Everything that a couple would usually do.
Get.your husband to help out.
Oh and your sister also works. Hats off to her. I went back when child was 9 months. It's tough.
If there are two of you then you get time to nip out on your own and maybe have a coffee out on your.own.
She's using grandparent time to do the shopping. Not for a rest.
Altho as a sole parent even a wander round a supermarket alone is a break :) but generally it's done in a lunchbreak so done at high speed.
Yabu

The entitlement of people who have parents living nearby never ceases to amaze me. They are YOUR children. Yes it’s lovely for grandparents to do stuff but it shouldn’t be expected and they have no responsibility for a regular day etc.

Maybe think about why you’re so jealous of your sister; jealousy is ugly and can turn you bitter.

She has one child who she does everything for, except for a day and a few hours. Perhaps she would love to not have to work and spend all day with her child. You’re lucky to have that luxury, Parenting is difficult, let alone on your own and working!

You’re acting at though the children are a commodity; it’s a privilege to have children, why do you want to farm them off to grandparents? Enjoy them, be with them, make time for yourself with your husband. Your sister’s arrangement with your parents is not your business. You come across as extremely spoilt and entitled, and hormones is no excuse for being so petty and spiteful.

Yes you’re being extremely unreasonable.

Oh dear OP
You are never going to understand I think 😂
You are very privileged and think the grass is greener
Let's compare shall we?
A sahp, 2 kids, a husband that works,
She doesn't have any of that, do you quite comprehend it?
I've been a single parent and a sahp
My younger child has a parent that equally cares about him
With my first, I had so much help from my family but never anyone who supported me emotionally, loved me, and loved every milestone that the child reached like I do now.
I desperately needed child care before
Now, its just icing on the cake

I get it’s hard with two kids but being a single parent means no one helping with cooking, cleaning , finances etc etc but probably most difficult is the emotional weight you carry alone .
She cant ever ‘switch off ‘ so she will need that downtime that she does get.
It’s sad that you are resentful and a bit jealous. It doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve some help and a break but it’s not down to her or your parents to give that to you if they don’t want to, so don’t turn it into a competition.

The thing is Op is basically say saying ‘life is unfair and my parents should stop doing Saturday mornings for her to make things fair’

But the simple fact is as adults, it’s not always up to our parents to make sure everything is fair. How can it be? If one has 5 kids and one has non? How do you make that fair? Do you need to spend your life helping out the one with 5 because they chose to keep having babies? What if you do non friendly things with the one that has no kids, is that fair? If one is paid £500k a year and the other £25k, how do you make it fair?

Op wants her parents to even her situation. But is ignoring every way she has it better than her sister. If her parents felt they had to make it fair so that op and her sister had equal support, they would be doing far more for the sister to even out the support gets from husband and the fact that she doesn’t work.

And this perceived unfairness didn’t seem to both Op when she was a sahp, to one child and had a full day off a week as the child went to her parents. Doesn’t seem she worried about unfair it was her sister couldn’t have a full day off AND not have the responsibility of a job. It doesn’t appear she was worried about how it was unfair that her dh didn’t get a weekly day off but she did.

Now she wants her parents to support her sister less so both her and her husband get a break? At the same time. Why do they need to take something away from Ops sister to make it ‘fair’ in ops point of view?

Why do you need help with the baby? Can your partner not look after both children while you go shopping or whatever? I don't think you should be jealous of the help your sister is getting from your parents - there's 2 adults in your household and 1 in hers!

The thing is op your parents probably look at your situation and see - sahp, dh who pulls his weight, 2 pairs of hands and minds for 2 kids VS your sister having no help and being the one holding down everything. I can see why they would put all their effort into helping your sister. She may have the Sunday and some Saturday to do what she wants but it's also FT being responsible for everything for her dd. I don't think you understand how hard it is for your sister. She might get to do her hair during her break but when she gets home it's just her doing everything and not having another adult to share her day/frustrations/feelings with.

This. Everything you want from your parents - you have a dh for that!
If you want extra time then get a babysitter like your sister.

Her being single trumps whatever you say op. She needs the help faaaar more than you.

Came to say this too

Single parent here, no help.. been a single parent for 15 years. I find it insulting you refer to 'playing the single parent card' YABU

Thank you. My son has SEN and is exhausting. But he's also really lovely and kind and wonderful and I'm hoping time will work it's magic.

Its your choice to be home with 2 kids. You could go to work and get a lunchbreak

op.. i've tried to say this a couple of time and took it back because i don't know how to without laying out too much info. but..

I remember how hard it was having a toddler and a newborn, i remember being in those trenches, but i always had my ExH on hand to help, to let me sleep, to take the slack.

My eldest is disabled. I'm also his Carer. I have my own physical disabilities and chronic pain conditions,

I'm also now a single mom.. i have to do it all myself, Parent & Care for a disabled teenager while also trying to a parent to my 15yo currently doing her GCSE's. I have to manage my own conditions to be there for both of them while ALSO looking after my elderly mother.

I have NO HELP. No-one at 2am when my son is wandering the house because he can't/won't sleep. No-one else to cook the 2-3 different meals i have to make 3 times a day because of his eating disorders. No-one to watch him when i shop, so i have to bring him with me, while also trying to negotiate needing crutches or on a bad day, a wheelchair... have you ever tried chasing an autistic teenager while needing a wheelchair on 2 weeks of 3hrs sleep a night?

I'd give a lot to be back in the trenches of a toddler, and a newborn, and a husband to help, and my only worry being that my mom was more interested in babysitting for my sibling than helping me.

That's not to take away from your struggles, because honestly, it was a shock to my system going from 1 toddler to him and a newborn, it is EXHAUSTING.. but rather than focus on what you don't have, consider what your sister doesn't have, and count your blessings.

i know i'm a stranger, but i'm a fellow single mom to a child with disabilities. I can't give you a hug, but i can say this.
I see you.
You're doing a good job, and you should be proud of yourself for every day you make it through together.

This is absolutely bizarre. Genuinely @fryEyes it sounds like you have far, far more help than most parents

the concept of having a child free break once weekly is just not a thing. You are not magically entitled to that. If you want that, pay for childcare.

Me too, bloody relentless at times. OP has no clue.

It sounds like you’re unhappy with your life and taking it out in your sister - you don’t seem happy about being a SAHM, and seem v jealous of her lunch breaks. Maybe you should work part time and you’d have lunch breaks too? Some of these decisions are your own you know?!

I'm a lone parent you have just no clue how much pressure and load we have to carry. The fact you resent her having time out or that she finds time to get her admin stuff done at lunchtime is very childish.

Tbh OP, your lack of free time really comes down to having two rather than one in my opinion.

If I only had one child I would have a lot more time for myself, but having two especially during the younger years makes that a lot harder in my experience.

Erm she’s a single parent. You have a partner who lives with you so surely you can take it in turns and each have a break? Your sister can’t… she does the majority.

I have one child and a husband and no else has ever helped… not once! And he’s 6. So I think you’re doing just fine!

This. FFS why do people expect to have free time when at this stage of life/parenthood. I get it, you're in the trenches, these are hard years. Suck it up and look after your kids. No one owes you childcare, particularly your parents!