To have one child

as this will suit our lifestyle better,

I find this really selfish and vacuous sorry. But I admit I really don't get the whole deliberately "one and done" thing - if you are prepared to have a child then you should also be prepared to have a sibling.

Depends what you mean by suit your lifestyle as your lifestyle will change once you're a parent regardless! Don't make any decisions now just go with the flow and if you feel like another later down the line you can, but equally one is an absolutely valid choice.

I've got one - she is 3 and I love her to pieces but being a mum never came naturally to me, I had awful PND and just have no desire to do it all again. I do feel terribly guilty about her not having a sibling though, like I'm depriving her of something that could be really special. That being said I have a sister that I'm not close to at all and my 'village' is my friends all day long.

My DD (12) is an only child, she loves it. Household is calm and easy going, can afford to treat her often, spend loads of time with her etc.

DP wanted another but her birth (and week after) was so traumatic, I didn't want to do it all again. DD also was very vocal about not wanting a brother or sister as she grew.

I have had a few wobbles over the years about whether it was the right thing but she is so close with all of her lovely friends and spends so much time with them that any sibling she might have had would have spent the last year or so getting ignored or her bedroom door slammed in their face lol.

Have this one then see how you feel, there really is no right or wrong.

I was fairly certain I’d only have one. PND firmed the choice for us.

He’s now 19 and perfectly content. He had a childhood in which we could follow his talents and interests without worrying about anyone else. He appreciates how lucky he was that we could do that and doesn’t take it for granted.

No regrets for us.

Have as many or few children as you want, but I agree with PP, wait until you have this one before you decide. I imagine your 'lifestyle' is going to change quite a bit anyway so you might find a second one slots in easier than you thought.

@PanAmHostess I took would be pushed over the edge with more than one 😅 have your baby first and then decide because it's all meaningless until you know what it actually feels like

I have 1. Anymore would push me over the edge so that's that. If it helps I know many only children who are fine. There is a poster on here who tells us regularly about her 85 year old mother and how she hated being an only child to the day she died 🥱

You haven't even had your baby yet. You have no idea how you'll feel. But yes, having the one baby means an easier life for you.

I'm an only child. Benefitted a lot in terms of education, attention and finances. Very difficult to be an only though, especially as an adult. I'm my parents' sole focus (which growing up meant a lot of pressure) and also only support. I am.of course comparing my experience to those from functional families who get along with their siblings.

If you only want one child, have one child. Millions grow up as only children and are very content.

However, trying to decide family size before you’ve even had one baby is pointless IMO as you have no idea how you will find the experience.

At 1y I couldn’t imagine doing it again. At 2y I was unsure. By 3y I had softened to the idea.

Think about this in 18 months or more.

I think wait until you have this child and see how that goes.