To have one child

Nice.

I think suiting your lifestyle as a choice is a little "vacuous" perhaps - sounds more like a decision to get a dog or a cat!

Having said that, have as many children as you can afford, or as few as you want! It's too soon for you to know @GG300 - as others have said, wait until you have had your baby. You might find yourself suddenly turn into an earth mother after all! I couldn't wait to have a second.

I think parents of only children need to be very conscious that their child doesn't become self-centred. One of my DD's has a BF (both 25 too) who's an only and she is incredibly full of her own self-importance. I think having another child might have knocked some of the edges off! I don't think the two young women would ever be friends now, but they have been since they were 4 and the are very close.

Other than that, crack on! Do whatever you want to do!

Not really. Children are spoiled and self centred because of the parents not teaching them right. My only child knows how to share and wait for turn. I found kids with siblings are the one that doesn’t know to share and have no idea about waiting for turn more often.

I had one. She loves her own space but enjoys seeing cousins etc a lot.

Biggest benefit for her was private school, I could afford that for her as an only and it turns out she needed it as she has ADHD and local state school provision for SEN is shite.

I would have preferred to not have had a sibling.

I was an only child until my mum remarried and had 2 boys when I was 16. I'm 38 now and still consider myself an only child really as I was almost an adult by the time my brothers came along. I hated being an only child, I found it lonely and the worst part was getting board games for Xmas but having no one to play them with.

On the other hand my DB's are 22 and 21 now and they don't get on at all, I have a good, although not close relationship with both of them.

When it came to my own kids though I decided that I really wanted more than one so that they would hopefully always have each other. I have both a DD and DS, and my family is now complete, I definitely couldn't handle any more!

I am an only and I have an only. I think it's absolutely fine. In the lottery of life, there are so many other variables beside having or not having siblings that will affect how happy, healthy and fulfilled your child ends up. Having a second child etc. could work out well or it could work out badly, in myriad ways. There's no way to know.

I sincerely hope you didn't choose to put yourself through alot of pain to have your second because of your opinion of only children.

Some people love being an only child. Some people hate it.

Some people love having siblings. Some people hate it.

My friend is an only child and is happy and has decided to stop at 1. I always wanted more than 1. We had so much difficulty having a second baby I thought it might not be possible. I find a lot of only children quite self centred and spoiled.

I am firmly one and done. Had an awful birth experience, add covid restrictions on top of that, had to do it all on my own in hospital including labour ending in an EMCS and baby in NICU for 3 weeks because my partner wasn’t allowed to be there, throw in severe PND and not being able to get out or even just hug my own mum for months after just cemented it for me. It scarred me and I’ll never be able to mentally push past it. My 4yo dd has mentioned a couple of times if she will ever have a sister or brother and I’ve said no, we are perfect as we are and family’s come in all shapes and sizes. Couldn’t give 2 shits if others think I’m selfish, I’m doing what’s best for me and my family.

Just because you have a sibling doesn’t 100% guarantee you’ll get along. I’m one of 4 and none of us speak to each other, may as well be strangers in the street tbh and we can’t stand each other. Just because your related by blood doesn’t mean that your going to be best friends.

Respectfully, I disagree.
I love my mum and dad, but with regards to siblings and even cousins, I would happily choose friends over family any day.

I can choose my friends. I can't choose my family.

What if a 2nd child had additional needs or disabilities and , in some cases rightly so, the majority of attention and resources went on them? Would that help the 1st child ?

I'm not having another because the career and hobbies I've built up over the last two years would come to a standstill, and my mental health massively depends on them. I'd be a shit mum to two children. I wouldn't cope.

But that doesn't matter. By your logic, my child's wishes always come first. She'd get her sibling to play with (supposedly), and I'd end up miserable.

Makes sense.

I don't think anyone can really say with confidence they would have been happier in a situation they've never experienced.

I don't know if I would have been happier with siblings, but I do know I was desperately lonely as an only child. Respectfully, I don't think friends and siblings are comparable by any stretch of the imagination.

That's a shame.

On the flip side I have two brothers I'm not close to at all and honestly, I'd have been happy as an only child.
I pretty much grew up with my best friend who lived next door.

Yes I would say when having kids, the parents should come second.

So the parents don't matter then?

I was an only until much older due to separated parents and it was very lonely so I knew I wanted my child to have siblings

There's no right or wrong answer here. I'm an only and I have an only. I always promised I would never have one as I was so desperate to have a sibling and then here we are! My parents each had siblings and told me how lucky I was not to have to deal with all that. They don't have a good relationship.

There are millions of happy only children out there with good parents who make sure they don't feel left out and have friends with them. Do what suits your family and make the best of it.

Constantly being told that I should know better because I was older and that I shouldn't let it get to me when my younger sibling bullied me in school with their friends and i stood alone, that was my personal highlight.

I'm 25 weeks with my first baby. I have 3 siblings with a sister only 1 year apart from me. We hated eachother growing up but best of friends now! DP is an only child and said he hated it. He had amazing education and financial benefit from his mother being the only child but said he was incredibly lonely and wanted a sibling so bad!
He has ADHD though and thinks this made him struggle to make friends hence the extreme loneliness so perhaps he had friends he would've been fine without a sibling? I'm pretty set on one myself but DP wants atleast 2 given his childhood. I've agreed to see how I feel once the first arrives then we can discuss yes or no to anymore!

Nothing wrong with it. I'm an only child and loved it, still do. DD is also an only child and nearly an adult. She likes it too. She wouldn't change anything and neither would I. So many siblings don't get on or even bother with each other, they're not guaranteed friends. Ignore anyone who tries to guilt you.

Sorry but I was an only child and it was an incredibly lonely existence. I was very jealous of all my friends with siblings. Our house always seemed so quiet and lifeless in comparison to theirs.

My DM was also an only and struggled hugely when the time came to care for her elderly parents.

I grew up with a sibling until I was 9, then my parents split and I was an only child as a teen (barely saw sibling). I can honestly say that as a teen I didn't think about being a sibling or only at any point.

My only child is very happy. Wanted a sibling for a year or so then definitely didn't want one.

My sibling was actively unhelpful when one of our parents died and has basically cut the other one off, who can and has walked over hot coals for them. So don't rely on a sibling being any help, love or support to your existing child.

On the flip side, half of my stepsiblings are ace. So you never know what you're getting. Make the choice for you, not your child.