To have one child

Not at all. You can't read my mind! I said exactly how I felt. I've never felt I need to justify my choices to anyone.

I'm in exactly the same boat actually posted a tread a few days ago. My DD is almost 6 months and I have found it extremely difficult more than I could ever have imagined and I genuinely don't know if I could do it all over again and with a toddler plus my age is a factor BUT I am really worried about her being lonely as we have no family or friends near and she won't have any cousins which as an only child myself is something I had I was very close to my cousins growing up . I go back and forth on it as it never bothered me being an only child when I was younger I loved it but as I'm getting older it's a lot being the only person my parents can rely on and I can only imagine it will get harder with time . I don't have an answer for you there's nothing "wrong" with having one child or being an only child. My biggest worry is my DD won't have anyone when myself and DP are gone I find that quite sad that she wouldn’t have any close family after we are gone, I know there is no guarantee they would get along but that would be my hope if I do have a second.

You can use whatever reasoning you want as to whether to have another child or not. Nobody has to justify the decision not to carry and birth a human being to anyone else.

Like pps have said, you really won’t have a clue until you have one child.

It’s a perfectly valid choice when the time comes to actually make it.

Would your parents not play board games with you? What about friends or cousins? There was a big age gap between me and my sibling but even if they couldn’t play board games I was happy to receive them as there were other people I could play them with.

Not when it comes to an actual human child. They should be born only because they are truly wanted, not because the parents don’t want them at all but are giving them as a “gift” to their sibling.

How ridiculous. What if they don't get on, do you have to keep popping out kids until you've made the perfect sibling? 🙄

My mum is one of three and always said it was the worst number of children to have, because someone always gets left out.

I was going to say this as well, all oldest children are onlies for a while. I assume parents with more than one don’t think their oldest is a selfish little narcissist.

I was an only child until I was nearly 6 , from what I remember I loved it . My parents then had my brother, we are currently not speaking. We are very different people in terms of personality and interests , so as others have said , siblings aren’t necessarily friends. I will add in my case our relationship wasn’t helped by my mum openly preferring my brother.

My only seems to be fine, she has a sharing food deal with her best friend. Theres no actual scientific evidence of only’s being maladjusted. Onlies may have more resources than your kids but it doesn’t make them spoilt or badly behaved. The worst behaved kids in DD’s class all have siblings. On average though I doubt there are vast personality differences between kids with siblings or without.

I know some very close siblings and some siblings who wouldn’t put their brother or sister out if they were on fire. Even when it comes to caring, one child often takes on the bulk.

Or people feel more comfortable talking about it anonymously? It's hard when you have a troublesome family dynamic to be open and honest in real life to even close friends sometimes, especially if they know the rest of your family. One of my brothers assaulted me as a young child and became a heroin addict who would lie, steal, be abusive and generally ruined my childhood; people know I don't really speak to him now, but I don't feel the need to tell people about it generally because it feels personal to me.

I find a lot of only children quite self centred and spoiled.

No you don't, you're just trying to justify your choices to have more than one child.

I have 2 DD that are 2 years apart. They play so well together 90% of the time. They entertain each other and means they are not always looking to me to entertain them. I'm very glad I have two. However, there is no guarantee that two siblings would live harmoniously together. If mine didn't enjoy each other's company or were arguing all the time, life would be so so stressful!

There's so many people in Mumsnet who don't get on with their siblings. In real life, most of my friends and family get on with their siblings very well.

Although I guess most people on Mumsnet seem to dislike other people altogether, so perhaps that's why.

You can't use WHO advise as a reason not to have another child. Did you breastfeed beyond 2 years?

I have an only, not by choice. We would have dearly loved another, but it wasn’t to be. DS is 13 and for many years asked for a sibling. Even now he still brings it up from time to time.

That said, he’s a happy and well-adjusted kid. We’ve been able to do things as a family that we could not have afforded if we had two. And we will be able to help him financially in the future more than we would be able to if we had two.

He also has quite a few friends who are onlies and they all seem pretty happy as they are.

I find a lot of only children quite self centred and spoiled.

… and here we go with the stereotypes. People love to paint onlies as indulged little brats.

My condescending brother used to make digs about my DS saying “he doesn’t know how to share toys.” That was bullshit. What he didn’t know was how to behave when playtime looks more like fight club because his kids are so competitive and feral.

I am 32 years old. I struggled to conceive and was even referred to the fertility clinic before I fell pregnant. By the time baby is born I would be nearly 33 and I don't want to be pregnant or give birth at age 35 or older- WHO also advocates 2 to 3 years between births for minimal pregnancy risk.

I am just too old. I would probably ttc until it was no longer possible if I had no children but why should I put my body or health of future children at risk for hypothetical siblings.

DD likes being an only, and although I felt that lockdown as an early teen might have been easier with a sibling, she disagrees. Obviously the "dealing with elderly parents" stage is yet to come; we'll try and make sure we make it as easy for her as we can. However having more than one doesn't necessarily mean less stress at that point - there's no guarantee that all siblings are willing/able to pitch in to help, or that they will agree on the best course of action, and there can end up being a lot of resentment.

I'm an only child. I'm now 60. My parents were caring and I loved them a lot but I also had fantasies about having brothers or sisters. There are fun aspects to being an only child - more money spent on you, more attention - but I would rather not have been outnumbered by my parents and had their focus so much on me. Even if parents claim to have no expectations, they do, and that's quite hard falling on one set of shoulders. As they aged, I realised their needs would fall on me alone. People almost never truly anticipate their own old age and being an only child in that situation is hard. My father died at 80 after a short illness but my mother lived 15 more years, declining slowly and needing residential care eventually. You don't have to have any children but think in the broadest and longest terms about having only one.

Not sure how you figured that one out. If you have more than one child, it's pretty rare for them not to have to share things.

This answer is probably the best

Yawn

I have one DD she’s 8 now is happy and content honestly I always thought I’d have two children but it’s sadly not happened with my partner we have gave up trying and just accepted it.

to read some of these comments about how one is selfish and doesn’t favour the only child can easily say that if they have more than one child

also growing up with siblings doesn’t always mean they will be close as adults remember that..

I have one brother and he has caused nothing but problems In my life. Since I was young..

Being an only child would have been peaceful.