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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want clean bedsheets?

81 replies

traffichater1 · 17/11/2024 12:40

Am I overreacting about this? So I’m not a germaphobe but I can be a bit funny about touching people and body contact with people generally - unless it’s my partner or DS.

My partner has stayed at mine all last week. His friend was travelling to the area and needed somewhere to stay so he left his keys for him and his friend stayed in his bed for maybe one or two nights. I’m not so sure. Yesterday my partner went back home and I followed him a few hours later. When I arrived, I asked him if he changed the bedsheets since his friend slept in them and he said that he did however I couldn’t see the old bedding that he would’ve taken off anywhere and it wasn’t in his washing machine. His wash basket is in the bedroom so I would’ve seen the bedding in it without having to dig around. So to sleep, I didn’t get underneath the covers and instead used an old blanket of mine which I’d bought over to his house a while back. My partner didn’t question this. He just every so often would make sure I’m covered by my blanket. Which indicates to me that he actually didn’t change the bedsheets because if he had he would’ve been insistent get into the bed as it’s clean bedsheets. I think it’s gross that he’s happy to sleep in bedsheets that his friend has slept in, however it’s his friend so he can do what he wants but for me that’s like sleeping in a hotel room that hasn’t been changed since the previous guests.

I’ve left now, but sent him a message saying that it bothered me. He hasn’t replied, but I’m curious to know if other people would have felt the same as me.

OP posts:
modgepodge · 17/11/2024 12:54

This sort of thing bothers me too. I always change my guest bed sheets after someone has stayed the night (except my dad as he is the most common one, so he’ll probably be the next one too, but I’d then change it if MIL for example came next). I know most others don’t though (I always offer to strip beds and this is usually declined which tells me they’re probably going to leave them on) and I don’t like staying at others houses often for this reason!

User0311 · 17/11/2024 12:53

I wouldn't want to sleep in a bed someone else had slept in without being washed

Milknosugarta · 17/11/2024 12:52

Just to add to the ick factor, I've heard that scabies are rife just now, and you can pick them up from bedclothes. Sorry. 😯

Encanta · 17/11/2024 12:50

Why don’t you trust him?

traffichater1 · 17/11/2024 12:48

I did want to go home but it was really late at that point and I didn't want to make a big deal out of it by going home, but it was eating me up inside lol.

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 17/11/2024 12:46

I think people exist in a spectrum on this. It wouldn’t bother me, I’ve done enough camping and nightclubbing and shared beds and body fluids with enough people that I’m not particularly squeamish about other people’s skin or my sleeping arrangements. I certainly wouldn’t strip my bed because a friend had slept in it. But if I did feel as strongly as you and didn’t believe the sheets had been changed I’d have just gone home rather than make a song and dance about checking for sheets in the laundry and getting my own comfort blanket out and not letting the bedsheets touch me.