To be annoyed at DMIL for putting a wet towel in the dustbin?

Mil sounds a bit ott

Get it out of the bin and wash it. Don't understand MiL's problem with peed on bath mat, it's par for the course with children, pets etc. Just stick it straight in the washing machine and wash it, or leave it in the (empty) bath. Binning is a bit OTT.

Just ask MIL to fish it out the bin & bag it in a black bin liner & leave in the garage until you get back & are able to wash it. It's really not a big deal & to get irate about it is a bit OTT.

But towels are going to be used again after laundering; things in the bin are going to be disposed of, so doesn't matter if bacteria multiplies.........

I can't imagine why she didn't think it could be washed. What an odd thing to do.

YABU and overreacting. Let this go

This, just do it. No need to be so cross!

dont really understand why nanny put bath mat in bin .i would have put it in wash little ones have accidents had it with own grandchild but she was babysitting probably does it regularly so is a bath mat worth over causing upset over .but if its a problem maybe best to hire a babysitter . think sometimes people expect to much from nanny who do it for love of children and when do something they dont like they dont want contact but forget everything you have done to help

Get the bath mat out of the bin, wash it. Thank your mother in law for the babysitting. Do not waste energy worrying about germs in your bin.

Of course your livid - it was your MIL, there’s obviously others issues here!

"Clearly should have just stayed at home" okay this is just being petulant. You could be an adult and accept that perhaps you've been extreme here, rather than doubling down on your dramatic responses.

1- the mat should have been put in the washing machine. However, since it wasn't:

2- a wet item such as the one described here, in a bin bag and in the outside bin, is perfectly fine. It's just extremely wasteful given that urine is perfectly able to be cleaned out of such an item.

3- do not bring it up with her. Accept a missing bath mat as an acceptable loss given that you had child care and presumably enjoyed yourself while you were out. This is not worth arguing with anyone over.

"and yep we need to work out if there was anything behind DS's accident" I missed this bit! 😮

Who slags off anyone for wanting to do days of unpaid childcare?

👌

" I'd be pro taking it out the bin and washing it but should have added the point is we're away for a few days and they're housesitting / looking after the kids...
so I'd be needing to convince the in laws to do the fishing out of the bin and washing!!

@LBFseBrom no she didn't? she says "we are away for a few days"

When she said " got home" in her OP, I think she means got back to where she's staying on her weekend away with her DH (courtesy of her IL's!)

Because she's enjoying several days away with her DH, because she's damned lucky to have caring, involved IL's who will look after her kids. But she can't see how fortunate she is.

Well no she won't have washed it already, because she and her DH are away for a FEW DAYS and she still wants to man at her MIL who is holding the fort at home with their children ... I can't believe the cheek of OP.

Where?

Absolutely.

Very ungrateful OP. You're so lucky to have ILs willing and able to do this for you. Get a grip!!

The op said she did retrieve the bath mat from the bin.

OP I want to be able to vote YABU a second time after your updates.

You have in-laws who are able and eager to watch your multiple children for days at a stretch for free. Your MIL tossed an inexpensive bath mat which you admit is probably what she would have done at her own home so not some statement about what she thinks of your possessions.

Every bit of this thread sounds like you choosing anger and resentment. If I were your DH trying to enjoy a kid-free celebration weekend away with you and you chose to rant to me about this and my parents who were watching our children and home for free I would be pretty irritated with you. Let it go and move on.

Because she isn't there!

She's away & her ILs are at her house looking after the kids.

Please can you explain why you can't just collect it from the bin and give it a wash. If it was me I would be slightly bemused that MIL had thrown it then do exactly that.

I’m shocked that so many MILs agree to babysit. They can’t do anything right. The lack of empathy from many DILs on MM is general is quite sad given their MILs are doing a favour.

OP she isn’t you! They means that she’ll do things differently. Think about it down her perspective. She might well be nervous about having sole charge of little kids in the evening and especially if this involved bathing where there is risk and the potential for things to go wrong. When it happened she probably didn’t know how to handle it and was worried. If she left it on the ground you might have complained about the smell or they the kids stepped on it. If she washed it with other close you might have been disgusted that other clothes were exposed to pee. If she washed it out in the sink you might have been grossed out that you wash food there. I’m sure there’s a way that you would have liked her to handle it but this is not obvious to other people and might be hard tot think of when stressed and worried.

Thank her for her time, reassurance her that the peeing on the mat is normal and didn’t bother you and tell her ther you don’t expect her to take care of these things in future. She can just leave it and you’ll take care of any messes when you get home. Approach this with love to reassure her and you’ll get a much bette result.