Need a hand hold -Part 3

@Imbluedalale that sofa is beautiful and looks so comfy and not too long to wait!

We went looking to replace an armchair that's about 20 years old at the weekend but we couldn't see anything we like....probably why we've had it for 20 years!😂

Your Mum is very wise isn't she? Sleep on things and see how you feel in a few days, it is a 'mistake' that the VP will never make again for sure

Enjoy time with your lad this evening xx

Agreed @Malbecfan It’s the sort of mistake you’d expect from a new teacher, not SLT.

I don't want to spoil your evening with your DS but I've been thinking about your situation for a few hours now.

I've been teaching for 30+ years. I am a Head of Department but I work part time for various reasons. All Heads of Department in my school have several years' experience. People who are on the Senior Leadership Team have not only led departments, they have taken on additional responsibilities too. They have worked for a minimum of 10 years in those roles. All staff, teaching and support staff receive Safeguarding training, updates and refresher sessions several times per academic year. I simply cannot fathom that a Vice Principal, someone very senior in an organisation, can take such a lax attitude to safeguarding or be unaware of its importance. She must have received lots of input over her career, so it baffles me that she can have such a massive lapse in judgment. Asking you not to say anything smacks of her knowing she has messed up monumentally.

I wouldn't do anything this evening other than spend time with your DS, but tomorrow I would want to speak to the Designated Safeguarding Lead (DSL) of the college. You could frame it that you don't especially want to get the VP in trouble, but their knowledge of safeguarding is woeful and they need urgent refresher training. Should it be the case that this VP is also the DSL, go to the local authority. If the college asks what you want to get out of it as a resolution, you could answer "better training and the bus pass". You have nothing to lose by asking.

For my penny’s worth re the college, maybe you can raise it as a concern without making it a complaint, if you see what I mean. Sounds like there’s an issue of training for this vice principal required. Unfortunately she has made a serious mistake and that does need addressing, really. It’s naughty of her to put it on you not to take it further.

I do have my green coat and it’s been keeping me warm. No trains today. Fingers crossed for tomorrow.

I tried a different M&S today and they didn’t have our bleeding perfume either 😡

That’s a hard one on whether to take the issue further as it’s not like she can unsay it. But it really was a really bad mistake and if you do take it further they might be able to put better training in place for all staff around issues like this. Maybe just dont stress about whether or not to report for now and sleep on it?

Thats good that your older two have lovely teeth now! I figured it’s good to get it all sorted young. I had braces but only a retainer and not train tracks so my teeth arent quite straight. I wish I’d got the train tracks now!

thinking of you and hope you’re ok. At least your ex should be back in Liverpool tomorrow.

Glad your mum and dad are there for you and you’ve spoken with your sister too. You need all the support. Big hug. I’m glad your dad has out plenty of locks on but hopefully ex will just try and brazen it out if he knows. It won’t help his case to keep DC if he’s arrested.

My Monday has been ok thanks, just took DS to get his braces tightened and various bits fixed back on (too many hard/chewy sweets I think 🤦🏻‍♀️).

Sending all the vibes to you Laura xx

@Imbluedalale I'm glad your mam and dad are with you.
I have no idea what the vice principal was thinking and your sister is right, it should not have happened
I hope your daughter is OK xx

Still stuck in London 🙃

Oh bloody hell. What an absolutely monumental cock up from the college.

The thing is, it’s all true and whilst it’s devastating for her, maybe in the end it’s the right thing. Where is your daughter now?

I wonder if it’s a good idea to contact the lovely police officers that picked you up at the station. You never know, they might organise a drive by overnight. Does he know your exact address?

Regarding your youngest, he can’t keep him from you. I know he feels powerful to you, but the law is on your side. Xxx

Just checking in and hoping you’re ok @Imbluedalale . I know it must be terrifying. I hope you can speak to your daughter in person and that your ex hasn’t found out. Does he know where you are? Also hoping someone from the domestic abuse team can ring back or your support worker. Have you rung your mum? It might help to have someone to talk to.

Hopefully someone will contact you soon xx

Don't do anything for now @Imbluedalale apart from breathe.

I can't remember but how old is your DD? I suspect the college might be in deep poo for divulging your information to your DD, so wait it out and see what happens. Realistically, apart from keeping your DC from you, what else can Ex do? Your DD won't see him in any sort of rosy light now. Try not to panic - hopefully Ex will be having too much of a good time in Liverpool to care.

Oh I’m so sorry! How absolutely unprofessional of the vice principal to tell your DD! So awful. Can you talk to her about what a sensitive situation it is with her dad and maybe she won’t tell him for now? I know she shouldn’t have to keep that secret but whatever keeps the 2 of you and your younger DS safest is important right now. Also sending lots of love and strength to you.

That's awful. Is there any way that you can see her in person today? Go to the college perhaps? Maybe there's a spare office you could sit in with her. I think it's important that you sit down together so you can explain that you were trying to protect her and didn't want to put her in a difficult position. Perhaps she would agree not to say anything to him if you explain your concerns? It might be that she prefers to live with you now, but she doesn't need to tell him that this is the reason.

I know it's really tough, but ultimately it may not be a bad thing her knowing the way that you've been treated and that women do not have to tolerate that sort of behaviour. She has probably taken in a lot more than you realise over the years, and thinks the sort of relationship is normal. In the long run it is important that she understands that what she has witnessed is not a healthy loving relationship so that she learns to expect better for herself.

But I appreciate that this is really not the way that you would have wanted any of this to come out and must be a horrid shock x