Need a hand hold -Part 3

Hi Laura, I’m good thanks, plans for today were to give my bedroom a good hoovering as well as laundry etc.
This made me giggle “The only person I’m shaving for from now on is my dermatologist”. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Hope the headmistress knows what she is letting herself in for 🫣

If the fine is at the discretion of the headteacher, and if she knows your circumstances and still issues a fine ... well all I can say is she must completely lack empathy and shouldn't be a headteacher, and that she fully deserves having your mother sicced on her.

The shaving for the dermatologist @Imbluedalale made howl! Thinking of you.
You have friends now. That’s for sure ✔️

My son loves BluTak and masking tape was a big favourite when he was smaller. I'm sure if I looked hard enough I'd find the odd random piece stuck somewhere. He would wrap it around the table and chairs and anywhere else it would stick. I had forgotten about that! 😊We used to buy it in packs of four from the Poundshop, he got one everyday his Dad was working 😂

I agree that this thread is very special xxx

Oh my goodness @PeggyMitchellsCameo you have really articulated such an accurate reflection of MN right now.
I never want this thread to end for being the gift that keeps on giving in so many amazing ways. MN has lost a lot of this along the way.
I'm especially thankful for the new friendship of @Imbluedalale which has sprung from the most unexpected place!
There will always be a special place for all you Spoonies in my heart xx

Hi fellow spoonies I have been reading the thread and catching up on Laura’s news and spoon updates.
Then when I venture into other threads, Lord above, it’s tough out there:

1. it seems planning Christmas and being a host is enough to have you running for the hills. From a relative who wants to bring a murderous rescue dog, to elderly PIL who won’t play ball, it sounds like hard work.
2. one person in a relationship treating another person dreadfully. These horror stories walk amongst us.
3. friendship groups causing agg - from trouble in the group chat, to people being taken for granted, what happened to being a decent mate?
4. money worries - usually, gosh my private pension isn’t quite what it should be, and my five bedroom house isn’t quite keeping up with the kids.
5. online dating. It’s a modern day bloodbath. And I’m sitting here in ratty old pyjamas, thinking well I don’t get too arsed about Christmas any more I just want a few potatoes and a nap, I have about 3 good friends and we are too exhausted to argue, and sorry but most of us right now are probably thinking - do I grow broke and put the heating on? In the DAYTIME. What I know about life you could fit on a postage stamp but I do know that being single outranks being in a terrible relationship. A few friends is all you need. The simplest, uncomplicated life is the new luxury, and age is a great leveller. From my more basic friends (me included) to the high fliers we just moan about being fat, shattered and menopausal. This a lovely thread full of lovely people. Nobody flounces off, or gives aggressive advice, or suggests that having 45 different savings accounts changes your world. Friendship is the greatest wealth you can accrue.

We've had that experience as well with other things. They get so excited about the secret that they just want to tell their friends.😂😂 Then you get the absolute random things like when the teacher asked them to talk about their weekend, knowing we'd visited the science museum in London. Dear son decided the most important part of the weekend was to talk about the fact that he was given some blutak that came in different colours! 🤣🤣

Good morning Laura and all the Spoonies, sorry to hear you are still feeling really unwell Laura. Hope your appointment with the dermatologist goes well.
You should definitely challenge any fine, even using the phrase from @nornironlady “how many systems keep women under the influence of controlling partners and enable further abuse” because that is exactly what the fine would do. You would be punished for something completely out of your control and it is outrageous. It makes me angry for you.
Sending a big hug to you Laura 🤗

I’m so grateful Laura has an army of spoonies here now to give such good advice as well as laughs and comfort. I’m appalled at ex’s behaviour and hate how he’s playing the system to his advantage. And I’m appalled at the system which helps abusers yet leaves victims wondering how to pay their rent because they apparently can’t process things immediately- even though we all know how quickly things can be made to happen digitally. What do we do about it? 😰

I'm sure someone will have the authority to allow you to dispute the charge. Especially as the absence was agreed with your ex and without your knowledge or consent. You contacted the school as soon as you knew about it and let them know that you didn't consent. You didn't have any possible way to get your child to school, as had been made homeless. Add in to the mix that you have suffered DV at the ex's hands, it would be impossible for you to make sure your child was at school. The fines are there to stop parents who don't care about taking time off, not people like you. Although I do have some sympathy for those who can't afford a holiday any other way and don't do it near exams etc. I have also heard of people who got fined for taking their kids to a funeral because the school didn't consider a grandparent a close enough relationship. So it's quite arbitrary how the rules are applied.

@BeNavyCrab I'm really glad of the the up front approach. Growing up there were lots of little lies on the pretence of not hurting feelings but they were pointless things to lie about. My Mum hasn't changed and would make an excuse rather than just say no!
We did tell our son not to tell other kids but I reckon he probably spilled as soon as he hit the playground the next morning 😂

I totally understand the not lying to a child who's ND. I think the first time I learnt that lesson was when my oldest was around 2: and a half. I was playing the "I take your nose off game" where you pretend you pulled their nose off and show the end of your tumble from between your fingers. I'd played it numerous times with loads of children and it always had them laughing and getting you to do it over and over again.
Well it wasn't my son's reaction. He looked horrified and screamed in panic. He yelled "Put it back on Mummy and never do it again!"
When it came to Christmas we told our kids that lots of people enjoy the story of Father Christmas but they were told it was just a story. We also had the talk about not upsetting other children who did believe the story, so at least they didn't upset their classmates.
Our daughter particularly hated the going to sit on Santa's knee, when he came into school. She didn't like strangers and physically being touched was awful. When asked if she wanted a present from Santa, she said "No!!" and hid under the nearest chair. 🤣🤣

It's got us into a few difficult situations, when you have to tell them the truth always. Both of them have said they really value it, as it was hard enough to work out what others meant, without worrying about their parents lying.

@Imbluedalale yes it also means the same here so it always raises a laugh 😁
Good news on the bus pass which is what you wanted, let the VP kiss your feet, I think it's very much due!

@Imbluedalale the more I learn about our social systems, the more I realise how dysfunctional they are. I'd definitely push to have that fine waived and use all of your circumstances if you need to demonstrate how unfair it is.
Wednesday is known as 'hump day' here. That day you need to get over from nowhere Tuesday into Thursday and onto the weekend!
My partner did elf on the shelf but my child didn't buy it for a second 😂

@Imbluedalale almost time to start work here. I'm not as tired as I should be for being awake almost 3hrs now!
I wonder if there's a way to dispute the fine as your ex is essentially controlling the situation against your wishes. I'm guessing some expert Spoonies might be able to help. I can't believe how many systems keep women under the influence of controlling partners and enable further abuse. Who is thinking of the child and why aren't they questioning the sudden use of travellers rights. From what I've read these apply to those actually travelling which you've said your ex didn't do.
It saves a lot of hassle when your child doesn't believe with regards to milk and cookies and elves on shelves 😂 I'm no mother earth!! Bless them for thinking we care they still believe 😂
Best of luck for hospital. I will be thinking of you xx
@BeNavyCrab shout out to you too at this hard family time. You are in my thoughts x