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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should DD20 BF of offered to get her takeaway or AIBU

161 replies

ML5 · 16/11/2024 18:04

Not sure if I am being unreasonable here
DD20 bf and his sister got themselves takeaway tonight and her bf didn’t offer to get her anything (just to add DD has paid for him before) they are going out to his family house and I told her if she’s hungry to let them know there.
AIBU that maybe her bf should have offered since she’s paid for him before or AIBU in my thinking?

OP posts:
banananapancake · 16/11/2024 18:49

Merrymess · 16/11/2024 18:48

Who said she was lying?

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She's either lying or her bf is a prick

Merrymess · 16/11/2024 18:48

banananapancake · 16/11/2024 18:43

Why else would she lie to get money from her mum

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Who said she was lying?

Singleandproud · 16/11/2024 18:44

Have they eaten yet? Surely they'll just share when it arrives as she doesn't have the money, very few takeaways you can't split and share one way or the other.

banananapancake · 16/11/2024 18:43

SweetSakura · 16/11/2024 18:43

Hmm

How did you make that leap?

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Why else would she lie to get money from her mum

SweetSakura · 16/11/2024 18:43

banananapancake · 16/11/2024 18:11

Can't she just say I don't have any money can you sub me? I'd be concerned this is all a lie to get money for drugs

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Hmm

How did you make that leap?

banananapancake · 16/11/2024 18:40

decorativecushions · 16/11/2024 18:22

What? 😂

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She's 20. She should be able to tell her boyfriend she needs him to lend her money so I think it's a front to get her mum to send her money. For drugs potentially.

healthybychristmas · 16/11/2024 18:40

He's not much for a boyfriend if he would see her go hungry while he eats a takeaway. she deserves better treatment than that.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 16/11/2024 18:40

Mean with money, mean with love. It's really tight to get yourself a takeaway and not include your girlfriend if she is at your house at the time.

Bit weird that you're posting on Mumsnet about this though.

OatFlatWhiteForMePlease · 16/11/2024 18:38

Ponderingwindow · 16/11/2024 18:22

Did she have no money or did she not have the budget for a takeaway? Entirely different scenarios. The first is a safety issue and you need to talk to her about it.

then talk to her about the wisdom of having a boyfriend who would eat in front of her without making sure she was taken of. Decent people don’t just tuck into a meal in front of guests.

This. I would also advise her to stop buying her boyfriend meals etc if the relationship continues.

Hulahoopalaver · 16/11/2024 18:37

I agree he should have offered/asked if she wanted anything but surely they're going to sit there eating their takeaway in front of her whilst she has nothing.

Original poster
ML5 · 16/11/2024 18:34

Hallllllllie · 16/11/2024 18:33

Because its nice that OPs DD is close to her Mum and recognises a situation where her partner has been rude and made her feel awful. OP is now asking our opinion as that's what these forums are for, is it not?

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Exactly thank you we are very close

OP posts:
Hallllllllie · 16/11/2024 18:33

Littletreefrog · 16/11/2024 18:25

If she is in BF house and he ordered takeaway for himself and sister and didn't ask if she wanted anything he isn't a very nice BF. But why your adult daughter is texting you to tell you this and why you are writing a thread about it is beyond me.

Because its nice that OPs DD is close to her Mum and recognises a situation where her partner has been rude and made her feel awful. OP is now asking our opinion as that's what these forums are for, is it not?

TribeofFfive · 16/11/2024 18:32

banananapancake · 16/11/2024 18:11

Can't she just say I don't have any money can you sub me? I'd be concerned this is all a lie to get money for drugs

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Jesus Christ you must’ve pulled a muscle with that stretch!

AgentJohnson · 16/11/2024 18:31

The concerning thing about this is she chose to tell you and not him about this. The only thing you should be advising your adult daughter is to talk through her issues with her bf.

LuxuryWoman2020 · 16/11/2024 18:30

banananapancake · 16/11/2024 18:11

Can't she just say I don't have any money can you sub me? I'd be concerned this is all a lie to get money for drugs

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Eh? 🤣

Hallllllllie · 16/11/2024 18:28

She was with him and he ordered takeaway and didn't offer?? 🚩

Littletreefrog · 16/11/2024 18:25

If she is in BF house and he ordered takeaway for himself and sister and didn't ask if she wanted anything he isn't a very nice BF. But why your adult daughter is texting you to tell you this and why you are writing a thread about it is beyond me.

sel2223 · 16/11/2024 18:23

She's 20, she's old enough to be married, have a child of her own, live independently from her parents.....

At 20, she should be earning her own money now to buy a takeaway or whatever else she sees fit. If she's got no money or doesn't want to spend what she has on that, that's on her, not you.

Likewise, if she's skint and her BF knows that but hasn't offered to get her anything despite her buying him takeaways previously then yeah, he sounds like a bit of a sh*t, but she should be able to tell him that herself.

Other than giving general life advice, I can't see any reason why you would be getting involved

decorativecushions · 16/11/2024 18:22

banananapancake · 16/11/2024 18:11

Can't she just say I don't have any money can you sub me? I'd be concerned this is all a lie to get money for drugs

Show quote history

What? 😂

Ponderingwindow · 16/11/2024 18:22

Did she have no money or did she not have the budget for a takeaway? Entirely different scenarios. The first is a safety issue and you need to talk to her about it.

then talk to her about the wisdom of having a boyfriend who would eat in front of her without making sure she was taken of. Decent people don’t just tuck into a meal in front of guests.

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 16/11/2024 18:18

I mean you don't need to be involved but yes, he's a shit boyfriend and your daughter should put him in the bin. Advise her not to waste anymore time on this one, he's inconsiderate and tight-not qualities that are desirable.

Unsatisfactory · 16/11/2024 18:17

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

DurhamDurham · 16/11/2024 18:17

She should leave the house without access to some money. They should have offered her some takeaway. She should have spoken up.

ComtesseDeSpair · 16/11/2024 18:15

She’s an adult, why does she have no money? Does she often “have no money”? Yes, in a relationship one partner should help the other out with things like this, but it’s very easy to become frustrated about it if it’s habitual.

IchiNiSanShiGo · 16/11/2024 18:14

Yes he should have offered to get her something, especially if she told him she had no money.

I do think you’re being a little bit unreasonable to be so invested in this though, she’s an adult.