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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should DD20 BF of offered to get her takeaway or AIBU

161 replies

ML5 · 16/11/2024 18:04

Not sure if I am being unreasonable here
DD20 bf and his sister got themselves takeaway tonight and her bf didn’t offer to get her anything (just to add DD has paid for him before) they are going out to his family house and I told her if she’s hungry to let them know there.
AIBU that maybe her bf should have offered since she’s paid for him before or AIBU in my thinking?

OP posts:
Chowtime · 16/11/2024 19:53

Merrymess · 16/11/2024 19:51

I would have sent my DD 20 quid to buy a takeaway.

Me too, but the OP's suggestion was, if your boyfriend won't pay for your food, ask his mum and dad to!

Maybe the apple doesn't fall far from the tree here

Merrymess · 16/11/2024 19:51

I would have sent my DD 20 quid to buy a takeaway.

NiftyKoala · 16/11/2024 19:48

Merrymess · 16/11/2024 18:11

If he had the money he should have bought her one or if not, shared his.

Edited

Exactly. Also she needs to stand up for herself. I will say I'd be so embarrassed if my mother had posted this about me at 20.

FuckMiniBabybells · 16/11/2024 19:47

I really wish there was a thread in classics where all bonkers replies could be saved to, because the 4th reply to this thread is 10/10.

Chowtime · 16/11/2024 19:37

So did you send her some money?

Or is your solution to her boyfriend not paying for her food to ask her boyfriends parents to pay for it?

LBFseBrom · 16/11/2024 19:36

BackinBlack24 · 16/11/2024 19:12

Um could you not of sent her the cost of the takeaway kind of sounds like that's what your DD was getting at ?

LOL! This gets better and better.

LBFseBrom · 16/11/2024 19:34

niadainud · 16/11/2024 19:23

No, she doesn't of any.

:-) :-) :-). Brilliant!

WiddlinDiddlin · 16/11/2024 19:31

Why would she have to be lying, why couldn't she just be one of those infuriating people who hints at what they want so that someone else offers, rather than asking outright?

Maybe she just wants money for a takeaway?

The bigger issue is that it is fucking rude to buy food for yourself and not offer to get for the other person, when it means you'll be sat there eating in front of them whilst they have nothing.

Unless there is a massive back story here that she repeatedly hints but won't ask outright and thats been something the BF has raised multiple times until he's finally said 'if you do not ask for what you want, I will absolutely ignore hints...'

But as she has paid for his takeaways in the past, this seems unlikely. More plausible he is just a bit of a cunt.

WiddlinDiddlin · 16/11/2024 19:26

banananapancake · 16/11/2024 18:11

Can't she just say I don't have any money can you sub me? I'd be concerned this is all a lie to get money for drugs

You know, when you project like this... you really tell us volumes about your own thoughts/behaviour...

I guess maybe in YOUR home its normal for someone to lie to get money for drugs, but that isn't the same for everyone!

sel2223 · 16/11/2024 19:26

Isittimeformynapyet · 16/11/2024 18:51

You've outbatshat the OP!

Outbatshit 🤣🤣🤣

MN has been on fire today with some of the threads!

niadainud · 16/11/2024 19:23

LadyKenya · 16/11/2024 18:11

Does she have no money herself for one?

No, she doesn't of any.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 16/11/2024 19:23

banananapancake · 16/11/2024 18:43

Why else would she lie to get money from her mum

Who says she is lying?

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 16/11/2024 19:22

Did they say we are getting a takeaway do you want anything and she said no? Or did they just order and not ask if she wanted anything?

Silvers11 · 16/11/2024 19:22

@ML5 How do you know that the BF didn't ask her if she wanted a takeaway and instead of her saying she was skint, she just said she wasn't hungry? I suspect she was hoping you would send her some cash? Is that possible?

Redglitter · 16/11/2024 19:21

Can't she just say I don't have any money can you sub me? I'd be concerned this is all a lie to get money for drugs

Well that escalated quickly

Hell of a leap there

Username197 · 16/11/2024 19:19

Why has your adult daughter gone out with no money and moaning? Is she hungry? Why didn’t she eat first or what did she intend to do for dinner if she had no money? She’s going to his family house so you’ve told her to tell them if she’s hungry- eh? They might have already have eaten by time they get there. Why is it their responsibility to feed her?

YABVU and your DD needs to organise herself better to plan ahead, not rely on others to feed/sub her.

Username0123456789 · 16/11/2024 19:19

banananapancake · 16/11/2024 19:13

Exactly. She wanted the money

Exactly!!
Can get well off your rocker for the price of a carton of chips and cheese.
Get a grip.

DancingNotDrowning · 16/11/2024 19:17

i have a 20 year old DD and this is exactly the sort of stream of consciousness she sends me every day 🤣

he’s been mean for not buying her takeaway

If she’s anything like mine, she’s messaged you a) because she wants validation for her feelings of disappointment (fine) and you to take pity on her and send her £20 for a takeaway (not fine)

nam3c4ang3 · 16/11/2024 19:17

Drugs 😂😂😂😂😂 what a fucking leap. I mean there are leaps - then there is this 😂🤣🙌🏼

Username0123456789 · 16/11/2024 19:17

I'm going to guess students.
I find it extremely rotten of her boyfriend to see his girlfriend hungry even a cheap carton of chips/share his take away and bulk with something cheap.
Difficult when she's in his home and can't put herself into a vulnerable position but as soon as she's able definitely bin him.
Hope my daughter is as close to me when she's 20.

autienotnaughty · 16/11/2024 19:17

If my dp bought a takeaway and I had to sit and watch him eat I would go home.

Kitchenwoe · 16/11/2024 19:16

banananapancake · 16/11/2024 18:11

Can't she just say I don't have any money can you sub me? I'd be concerned this is all a lie to get money for drugs

I'm absolutely pissing myself at this 🤣🤣🤣

Merrygoround8 · 16/11/2024 19:14

Sorry wrong thread!!

banananapancake · 16/11/2024 19:13

BackinBlack24 · 16/11/2024 19:12

Um could you not of sent her the cost of the takeaway kind of sounds like that's what your DD was getting at ?

Exactly. She wanted the money

Merrygoround8 · 16/11/2024 19:13

YABU this this wrong. It’s not so much the stealing from supermarkets, it’s more the perpetuating the whole cycle. Sooner or later he will get caught and he will find a new method or “business” to run, and it could end up violent. You can’t trust an addict.

And if money is tight; £10 a week on laundry (even if knocknoff stuff!) is insane. You simply don’t need all of those products in thise quantities. Let me guess, you follow Mrs Hinch!

I also guess you’ve been doing this before mat leave and intend to after as well.