Friends Dad dosent have a shower or bath?

My Dad died aged 96. In 39 years he didn't have a bath or shower. Strip wash and hair over the sink, he hated anything more!

Yup! My 91 year old mother has a warm safe modern wetroom with a stable shower seat that she doesn't use. I helped her shower when it was first installed but she has refused to have another one.

She says she's happy strip washing and that she doesn't smell - and in fairness she doesn't. I'm fairly sanguine about it and I'm certainly not going to be forcing a 91 year old under a shower against her will

I take it you've never worked in care then OP.

That's awful.
I no longer have a Bath, it was taken out to make way for a shower- {arthritis} -

Haven't had a bath in 7 years- but do DREAM occasionally at night that I'm in a warm deep bath, and how lovely it feels.

Then I wake up! The loveliest bath I had was as child in an old Hotel in France- it had an inbuilt porcelain shelf to sit on, and the warm water came up to my shoulders- Luxury!

Nobody should have to wash like this nowadays.
Unless they are happy to do so, in which case it is nobody else's business.

Good question.
You know when you grab hold of your hands behind your back, one over the shoulder and one up from below the waist? I kind of do that, but holding on to either end of a soapy flannel and sort of work it back and forth across my back, and then switch sides. To rinse, just repeat with unsoapy flannel. These days I have both a shower and a bath though, so strip washing is a rare occurance. But when we go to stay with MiL, we all just wash with a flannel.

Late 70s here, we had a bathroom when I was a child, but I knew plenty of families who didn’t. Many tenements in Scotland had one lavatory per landing, shared between 3+4 households. Ablutions were done at the kitchen sink.

You use a wrung out hot flannel or sponge to wipe any excess soap off

Did you challenge this? I think if you have less than £10k they don’t make you contribute? That said my mum has only had a ramp installed! I still think you should challenge, can someone do it on your behalf? This may look better, surely it’s neglect if you can’t have a shower because you can’t afford the amount they said you could!

Its not uncommon for elderly people for various reasons to strip wash only, eg can't access their shower or bath, and can't have their home adapted.
Doesn't mean he smells.
Some day centres have bathing facilities if he wants to have a shower / bath.

Disabled Facilities grant that should read

I’m so sorry mittens. I wish I/we could magic you up a lovely bath tub ful of hot sudsy water.

I strip washed for 2 years before applying for an assessment and a Disabled funding grant for a wet room in my owned flat
I'm so grateful and it has been life changing
At 91 though, I'm sure he knows what works best for him, even if it isn't how you would choose to live.

Try and actually use your head for thinking

How sweaty is that small bit of back, that he cant reach, getting given he is probably housebound, moving very slowly, not eating a lot

And how smelly is that very small patch getting, without huge amounts of sweat being produced in it.

And whatever odour he has, is it going to kill someone?

As we get older we give off an odour that soap doesnt get rid of (unless you use quite expensive japanese soap), so we all end up smelling different as we age, even you.

If having a strip wash, how do you rinse all the soap off ? Surely soap would just make skin sore if you could get it all off.

He might not want a shower or bath

A lot of elderly or disabled people prefer to strip wash
It's warmer, less exposed, they can sit down and do it at their own pace, it takes less effort, it's not slippery and cold and the risk of falling, it could be the way they've always washed

I worked with people that have been in bed for 10 years so always strip washed/bed bath and they've never smelled because they washed properly

My dad is in his 90s and he does the strip wash or whatever it’s called. He can’t get in the bath and has no shower but he absolutely doesn’t smell bad.

What do you mean no one should have to wash like this nowadays?

Its my worst nightmare but its perfectly hygenic and my nan washed like this in her kitchen too, but she did actually have a bathroom, I remember visiting and she would still be having a wash in the mornings with lavender soap in the kitchen with a flannel

My mum for years now has not used the bath or shower, she doesnt want to, will probably not ever again I would have thought

Strip washes keep people clean.

It's quite common for elderly and disabled. If your ever in hospital it's only people who can get out of bed who shower

What is it to you if us half dead fuckers smell slightly because we cannot use a bath or shower we either can't lift ourselves in and out of or it's too dangerous. I live in rented accommodation with a bath, no shower. I have to put a swivelling bath stool in the bath and climb up to that using small mobility steps to even get on it. My husband still has to partially lift me and help me soap up and rinse off with jugs of water. It is still extremely dangerous. If anything happens to him, I'm fucked because, believe it or not, the council don't really give a single shiny fucking shit if I stink or not. They will offer you a grab rail. A fucking grab rail. A piece of shiny metal or plastic to grab, GRAB WITH SOAPY HANDS, in a tiny room, full of hard edges and sharp corners, where you're likely to smash your fucking head in on the bastard thing when your soapy hand skids off it and you plummet forward. A grab rail fixed to a weak plaster wall is not secure, it is a deadly hazard. A grab rail is no more support that the couple of Chinese mass produced cheap screws holding it on the wall.

I am so fucking sorry that imagining how my dying body might smell is offending you so much.

I need to ask the council for assistance is all? It's really easy, so simple. Ask and ye shall be given. Bollocks, is it.

I suspect a lot of expensive wet room installations never get used.

I've know a few people in my life who never bathe/shower, all older men. None of them did the strip wash thing either, they all had access to washing facilities. It did disgust me, but in all honesty, they didn't smell and they didn't look any dirtier than anyone else.

Get your friend to arrange an OT assessment for her Dad. They are fantastic. He may hopefully get a wet room installed.

He can have an ot assessment, there are grants available for new bathrooms or aids like a bath seat, would he agree to having carers in

I wonder if we could bring back some sort of public baths. Like they have in Turkey. Somewhere warm and with all the facilities disabled people need. Must be so many people like PP who would find it useful.