I don't know if I'm being an emotional mess so opinions wanted please.
This is my second pregnancy, not planned and to be honest if I ever was to be pregnant again I was adamant on it being a better experience to heal me from my first. However, maybe it's a second pregnancy thing, I just feel like no one gives a damn. No I don't expect princess treatment or constant doting over but I just want some acknowledgement.ive said to dp multiple times I don't even feel like I am pregnant with him. He never bothers to feel my belly when our baby kicks, or talk about the pregnancy. I feel like I bore him with pregnancy/baby talk and it's always me initiating it. He claims he is happy and wants this child, which I believe, but he can chose to opt out of the pregnancy until the baby comes whilst I don't really have the luxury of ignoring it. When I tell him all of this he apologises and says he recognises he isn't dedicating much time to it, then lists everything else that takes his attention away, toddler work ect.
With my first I had GD and potentially pre eclampsia which I'm now being tested for again. I'm a tiny person and this baby is measuring big again. I'm getting all sorts of pains and had horrendous sickness all throughout. I've asked dp to do simple things, like put thing things in a reachable space for me so I don't have to exert myself stretching but he keeps forgetting and this is upsetting me as I just think it's plain lack of consideration for me and again another kick in the teeth that he doesn't think about this pregnancy. I share a house with in laws despite coming into the third trimester I do all the house cleaning and look after DC. I just want these little things so I feel thought of, is it too much to expect?! Even my own siblings haven't even asked once how I am this entire pregnancy, one thought I was much earlier on than I am and the other one forgot entirely!!! No doubt when baby comes they will be all over it but no where to be seen during my pregnancy.
If I'm tired of feeling sick rather than empathy I feel like mil or do will lecture me about what I'm lacking in vitamins or food wise. I just want a break and need to rest. I feel like I'm trying to do the same amount as I did before my pregnancy because it's just what is naturally been expected of me, this also includes being a carer to my parent. I feel like if I try to tell my parent I feel sick, my back hurts, he just switches off. He promised me with this pregnancy he would take care of me this time, offer massages, check in. Heck I didn't even manage to get any maternity clothes until a couple of weeks ago despite being months away from giving birth because financially this pregnancy has not been prioritised and my money has had to go on compensating for dps lack of work (he is self employed). It wasn't until I broke down that I'm over half way with no bloody bras that fit me that he actually listened.
Anyways, I don't know if I'm rambling or getting my points across right. Maybe it's my standards that are the issue and need to be lowered. But I'm running on no steam and feel like I have no support. Sometimes I just want someone to talk to about the hardships of this pregnancy and feel like they genuinely care enough to listen. Doesn't help that DC is so full on and needs CONSTANT attention so I'm always feeling bad for not meeting their requirements. Today I've been completely burnt out after multiple birthday parties and outings throughout the week and needed today to rest. I explained this to DC and they said this is why they don't want a sibling, because it's making me incapable for them....
Before anyone suggests talking to my midwife I do have an extra support team for my anxiety and because of how bad my first pregnancy went, but again I feel like whenever I tell them "how I'm feeling" they really don't give a crap. It usually ends with them telling me to fill a happiness questionnaire and then they sign post me onto another person.
Aibu to expect more or is this just how a second pregnancy is?