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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The only one not on the WhatsApp group

35 replies

Nextdoorneighbourly · 16/11/2024 15:58

Found out today that our whole street is included on a WhatsApp group except me.
it was made by my neighbour. She has said sorry but we were away when it was made in the summer and then she forgot. I don’t get it- we get on well and you don’t need to be in the same country to be invited to join a WhatsApp group when it’s made.
im hurt as I thought we were friends- we do favours for each other and our kids went to each others party’s recently.
but I can’t shake the feeling this is on purpose. There are 20 others on there including one man who isn’t even technically on the same street.
I only found out because I suggested we form a street WhatsApp group. Am I being over sensitive? Would you say something to neighbour? I’m generally easy going, polite, keep out of everyone’s way so not like im a troublemarker

OP posts:
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Original poster
Nextdoorneighbourly · 16/11/2024 17:34

SilverChampagne · 16/11/2024 17:30

She explained why - you were away at the time Confused
It’s really not worth the headspace you’re determined to give it.

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yeah I understand now if we were away and she was asking people in person if they wanted to be part of it then fair enough.
it didn’t occur to me she would ask 20 people individually to be part of a WhatsApp group but I guess it’s possible

OP posts:
SilverChampagne · 16/11/2024 17:30

Nextdoorneighbourly · 16/11/2024 16:43

started it because I wanted to know if I was being a bit over sensitive about it, which I now think I was.
i was wondering why she would not have included me at the time she made the group made of 20 others when we are the ‘closest’ neighbours (both in location but also friends)
maybe it was an over sight though - I’m happy to forget about it. Sometimes it’s good to type things out

She explained why - you were away at the time Confused
It’s really not worth the headspace you’re determined to give it.

Original poster
Nextdoorneighbourly · 16/11/2024 17:29

IMustDoMoreExercise · 16/11/2024 17:26

She was probably concerned that some people would think that she shouldn't be using their phones numbers to add them to a group that they had not agreed to join beforehand.

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thanks - this might be it.

OP posts:
IMustDoMoreExercise · 16/11/2024 17:26

Nextdoorneighbourly · 16/11/2024 17:21

That could be the case - hadn’t thought of that.

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She was probably concerned that some people would think that she shouldn't be using their phones numbers to add them to a group that they had not agreed to join beforehand.

Original poster
Nextdoorneighbourly · 16/11/2024 17:21

IMustDoMoreExercise · 16/11/2024 17:01

I assume that she asked everone in person, not just added them on to the group if she had their number which is why she forgot that she hadn't added you.

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That could be the case - hadn’t thought of that.

OP posts:
Conniebygaslight · 16/11/2024 17:03

If anyone tried to add me to a street WhatsApp I’d decline. From what I’ve heard they’re bloody awful things…..consider yourself lucky

IMustDoMoreExercise · 16/11/2024 17:01

Nextdoorneighbourly · 16/11/2024 16:43

started it because I wanted to know if I was being a bit over sensitive about it, which I now think I was.
i was wondering why she would not have included me at the time she made the group made of 20 others when we are the ‘closest’ neighbours (both in location but also friends)
maybe it was an over sight though - I’m happy to forget about it. Sometimes it’s good to type things out

I assume that she asked everone in person, not just added them on to the group if she had their number which is why she forgot that she hadn't added you.

anareen · 16/11/2024 16:53

That doesn't sit right with me. Even if you have now been added. I would distance myself from that neighbor from now on.

Notreat · 16/11/2024 16:51

She probably forgot and then though she had added you. I don't think you should take it personally.

Hallllllllie · 16/11/2024 16:48

Tbh I think it was a bit shitty of her then and I'd wonder why she left you out. However I wouldn't say anything now as its done and dusted and you've been added now.

Original poster
Nextdoorneighbourly · 16/11/2024 16:47

Hallllllllie · 16/11/2024 16:45

Did she already have your phone number when the group was set up?

Yes- we text regularly and do lots of favours for each other. I get on with other neighbours but am more friendly with her.

OP posts:
Prisonpillow · 16/11/2024 16:46

You almost had a lucky escape.

Hallllllllie · 16/11/2024 16:45

Did she already have your phone number when the group was set up?

Hallllllllie · 16/11/2024 16:44

MarketValveForks · 16/11/2024 16:17

@Nextdoorneighbourly you asked if you are being unreasonable. You are. You then snipe at people telling you so. You still are.

The only person OP has sniped at is you because your comment was rude and unnecessary.

Original poster
Nextdoorneighbourly · 16/11/2024 16:43

started it because I wanted to know if I was being a bit over sensitive about it, which I now think I was.
i was wondering why she would not have included me at the time she made the group made of 20 others when we are the ‘closest’ neighbours (both in location but also friends)
maybe it was an over sight though - I’m happy to forget about it. Sometimes it’s good to type things out

OP posts:
GrumpyCactus · 16/11/2024 16:34

I don't get why you started the thread if she's added you? It seems like it was a complete oversight as you were away when she set it up and it's not low she's excluding you from being part of it?

Although personally I really can't see the point in having a neighborhood WhatsApp group.

Original poster
Nextdoorneighbourly · 16/11/2024 16:30

Berlinlover · 16/11/2024 16:30

There’s a WhatsApp group on the street where I live. I don’t know who’s on it and who isn’t but I’m relieved I wasn’t asked to join, it wouldn’t be my thing at all.

lol I’m starting to think I should have been grateful to have been forgotten

OP posts:
Berlinlover · 16/11/2024 16:30

There’s a WhatsApp group on the street where I live. I don’t know who’s on it and who isn’t but I’m relieved I wasn’t asked to join, it wouldn’t be my thing at all.

Original poster
Nextdoorneighbourly · 16/11/2024 16:22

MarketValveForks · 16/11/2024 16:17

@Nextdoorneighbourly you asked if you are being unreasonable. You are. You then snipe at people telling you so. You still are.

Not really… lots of ppl above said I was being over sensitive and I took it on board. You took issue with the fact I even started a thread which is imo a bit different but hey ho

OP posts:
MarketValveForks · 16/11/2024 16:17

@Nextdoorneighbourly you asked if you are being unreasonable. You are. You then snipe at people telling you so. You still are.

Original poster
Nextdoorneighbourly · 16/11/2024 16:15

MarketValveForks · 16/11/2024 16:10

Yabu to make a mumsnet thread about this non-event. You are now in the group. The issue is resolved. There was no malicious intent it's just that you aren't the main character in your neighbours' lives.

Well in that case yabu to comment on this non event thread. Dont you realise it’s ok to scroll past something that doesn’t interest you.

OP posts:
MarketValveForks · 16/11/2024 16:10

Yabu to make a mumsnet thread about this non-event. You are now in the group. The issue is resolved. There was no malicious intent it's just that you aren't the main character in your neighbours' lives.

pictoosh · 16/11/2024 16:06

It's like she said, you weren't around when the group was made, then she forgot to add you.

It really won't be anything personal.

Original poster
Nextdoorneighbourly · 16/11/2024 16:05

Maria1979 · 16/11/2024 16:04

Oh, I would never have asked her! WhatsApp groups can be hell. If you're not on them then noone can ask you why you didn't do x or answered to y.

lol that’s true - tbf my sons schools one is annoying

OP posts:
Soonenough · 16/11/2024 16:05

Don't overthink it. She added you when she remembered she hadn't already done it.