People with more than one child, be honest…

One DC was a breeze for me. Having a second certainly means more juggling and two children simply take up more space, more money and more time. Loads of pluses though, and going from 2 to 3 was a doddle.

He/she might be an easier baby but a harder toddler or a difficult teenager. Or have a disability or some sort of learning difficulty. There's no way of knowing. The two siblings might be best friends or fight like cat and dog.

I think it's pretty inevitable that things will be more challenging logistically and economically unless you have staff and unlimited funds.

I still don’t really see the issue. I had my second when my first was doing 5 days at nursery, it just meant I had more time with the baby and didn’t have juggle them both during the week

My DC1 was 3.5 yrs when DC2 was born. Once I got used to juggling a boisterous pre-schooler and a newborn - the physical, practical side of it, like getting out of the house and walking places - I found it no harder than having one.

Once they were 3/6, 4/7 etc they were good playmates and entertained each other while I made dinner etc.

I wanted two so I mad it work. It was tricky when DC2 was very tiny because DC1 wanted my attention all the time and tiny babies are very bad at timing their needs around others.

But it's all good now 8 year later 😊 short term pain long term gain.

Because there's no guarantee that the support system, as in GP's, will want/be able to look after 2 DC.

I found the jump from 1 - 2 easier than 0 - 1. He just seemed to slot in to our family life, my first was 3 when he was born and an absolute dream child though so that may be why I found it so easy haha! My second was a gorgeous happy little thing but boy did he not like to sleep, still doesn't

To an extent. It also depends on your priorities.

Feeding, clothing and housing three children is expensive.

Activities are expensive in time and money - a music lesson is £18 a week, add to that dance, sport etc.

School trips are expensive, even without doing the school ski trip or expedition to Peru.
The last few school trips have been £20-£30 per child.
Decent school shoes, trainers, winter coats.
Lunch money or packed lunches. Ingredients for food tech.
Birthday parties, holidays, cars, a house with enough bedrooms.

I mean you could do no clubs, no activities, no holidays, no birthday parties, no musical instruments, no Year 6 residential if you wanted but most parents do want to be able to give their children those opportunities - and it is expensive.

I found the step from 1-2 easier than 0-1 (and from 2 to 3 easier still to be honest!).

It’s hard having a toddler and newborn; but soon enough they can play together. I know friends with one who perhaps have it easier in some regard, but also their child has many hobbies including over the weekend to keep them entertained. I would find the heavy scheduling hard.

I prefer leaving mine to get on with it at the weekend and they mostly play wonderfully together. They have same interests though.

there’s no guarantees with any of it… could get a difficult baby/child with additional needs, etc etc. Ultimately only you know if it feels right.

Why? She has a good support system, it sounds amazing and will really help if she has another

@teatoast8 my 15 year old eats so much and is growing so fast it costs me a fortune! And I buy him fairly cheap clothes!

Mine did play together when they were younger. When they got to about 8 and 11 the bickering ramped up and now at 12 and 15 they barely acknowledge each other apart from arguing. Some of it is down to younger ones needs (and inability to compromise). But as I said it makes doing things together hard

Honestly I found it way easier going from 1 to 2 then from 0 to 1!
Have a 3 year age gap which I found good as DS1 was potty trained, could understand and he liked being involved and helping (like can you pass me that muslin). DS2 spent first 9 months in a sling when out so I could keep up with DS1.
My DH would do breakfast with DS1 which meant we could sleep if needs be.

It's also way easier now at 5 and 2 as DS2 can play and when we are out and about they entertain each other. They mostly play nicely together at home as well. DS2 definitely doesn't understand age restrictions on toys though and has been playing with small cars and legos a good year!

Oh god i love having two.

There's a brief bit where the baby is between about 8m and about 20m where they can't just be carted round and are a bit more work but then they suddenly become old enough to play a bit/be amused by older sibling. This afternoon mine have played together loads and they have currently asked to share a room instead of having one each.

Boy & girl, 7 going on 8 and 5.

It's only expensive if you make it so!

We were similar, I started TTC when DS was 2 years 9 months.

I would say the baby phase is quite hard (mine was in covid in a city with no friends or family) as it's hard to entertain the toddler while meeting the needs of the baby.

From about ages 3 and 7 they started to play together though and that has been brilliant as DS no longer feels lonely when we are not spending time with him.

Generally I found the step up from
1 to 2 much less dramatic and difficult than going from 0 to 1.

You can't guarantee they will get on of course!

If you have baby no2 will your family look after 2 kids? The nursery days are a breeze. Juggling childcare in school holidays once your DC starts school is difficult if you don't have the support.

How old are you? Is the father on the scene?

My second dc has significant SEND, and caring for her has had an impact on my first dc. He has missed on a lot. If I could go back I’d only have one, partly for that reason. And they don’t get on brilliantly. They’ve been bickering and winding each other up for years. I prefer spending time individually with each of them. Family stuff is hard work.

It is harder, although I have loved having more than one and we have no support from family at all. I echo others though saying that if you are struggling when you have this much support from your parents then having another may not be for you.

Going from 1 to 2 was a breeze and I found having one VERY difficult. IMO 0-1 will always be the hardest because your whole life changes and you're learning everything from scratch. After that you're already in the routine and more or less know what you're doing.

It is hard work, especially when young. However, the second one fits into your life more, whilst the world revolves around the first one.

We have a 4 year gap which is perfect as dc1 started school when dc2 was born so dc1 had their own thing going on, wasn't around to be jealous of me spending time with dc2. Dc2 got my mat leave with just me really.

It's hard with work though, DH and I work full time and 2 x clubs, plays, sports days, medical appointments, birthday parties etc takes a lot of juggling but we do make it work.

I found 1 easy and 2 hard. I find people who found 1 hard seemed to adjust to 2 better than people who found 1 easy if that makes sense.

Have you spoken to your in-laws about what if any support they'd be willing to give if you had two young children? Don't go in to it just expecting they'll step up.
Also at any point they may no longer be able or willing to help. Never take them for granted. Regularly check in with them to make sure they're happy. Assure them that if they want to step back at any point they absolutely should.

Have you always had their support? Do you have periods where you have your son 24/7? If not then I would advise you start by doing that, to see how you cope with that. I don't mean forever! I mean have a week or two where it's just you and see how you do.

Going from one to 2 is more tiring of course and I think you need to be as best prepared for that as possible.

Not through choice, but my first was at school by the time I had my second and I would highly recommend this if you are someone who doesn't cope brilliantly (as am I btw). Things like naps and having a bit of downtime were so much easier and there was no jealousy.

There are 7 years between mine and it was a piece of piss tbh.

I wouldn't have had less than 6 years between them. 7 was perfect.

That's my honest experience.