People with more than one child, be honest…

It doesn't. Not while they're young. Haven't thought that far ahead. Got plenty of time tbf

My first was a real handful, he was 2.5 when younger one arrived. Something about having a younger sibling settled him right down, it all seemed to become much easier. We had the odd day where I was pulling my hair out but on the whole it was fine. Second DS was also an easy baby so that helped!

"3rd slots right in" is the biggest lie 🤣

OP asked for opinions..

1 to 2 fine. 2 to 3 omg I always feel someone is missing out but I had small age gaps and some sen

That’s fine, but sounds chaotic to me. Everyone can only answer from their own viewpoint. What’s your room plan for teenagers?

It’s not the vast majority.I know, through work, family and friends, they’re not all close to their siblings some not even in contact and they are from functional families.

I mean yeah it’s harder because you’re trying to look after a newborn with a toddler. Newborn feels easy on their own the second time round. Depends on your child though. If your second child is easier than your first then it’s better. Your age gap is pretty good. 4 years if perfect imo.

This! Would they be willing, and able to offer so much support for a second child? This should be considered very carefully.

I have 2 (3.5 year age gap). They have adored each other since day 1 and that’s priceless. And they had each other to share the experience of their parents divorcing and being solo parented. However they ALWAYS side together which can make disciplining one of them hard and I sometimes wonder if solo parenting would have been easier with just one.

It*

I have a nearly 6 year gap and they bicker all the time, it makes my life a misery, days out are ruined, school run is just a bastard.

I love them both obviously but sometimes I miss the days of just 1!

Everyone will find differently to others. Mostly heard the third slots right in

I'm pregnant with third. Only in a 2 bed and no plans in moving and that's okay!.

The first was a herculean regime change in my life, one to two was easy - busier but more of the same, the first year from two to three was...not a doddle 😬 but you do get there eventually.

Ugh. I wouldn’t choose to have another, one is quite enough to contend with, if you have two you have to consider all the things that size up, like bouts of sickness, uniform, fees for holiday clubs / after school clubs, non school clothes, holidays, houses (with enough bedrooms). Personally we didn’t fancy the financial or time investment required to go again with confidence. Also a terribly morbid thought, but what if one or both of you died, were of the opinion fewer people would take on two children if something terrible happened to us. OP have you asked the family members who currently support you if they would provide the same support for 2 kids? We have many friends whose family support wasn’t offered for two kids, as they found it ‘a bit too much to manage’.

I have 4 and I'd say the hardest transition was from 2 to 3 but there were a lot of circumstances that made it that way. Going from 1 to 2 was fairly easy

It's good to know that going from 2 to 3 is a doddle. Pregnant with my third

I always (okay not at the newborn stage, but from ten months old or so) found it easier having more children in the room than just one.

I didn't like leaving my dc1 but needed to earn money and anyway didn't want not to have my own independent income, so I registered as a childminder when she was nine months old and minded two other under twos ten hours a day, five days per week from then until dc2 was born.

I actually found that, even though they were all too young to genuinely play "together" they were occupied and intrigued by one another and parallel play was vastly more engrossing to them than solo play and brought different benefits than me just playing 1:1 with DD (it's a real skill not to be adult led playing 1:1 with a toddler and adult led play is very limiting but the "easy" or lazy option for the child so a lot of children default to it when it's "on offer" and don't explore and create their own games as much).

When dc2 was born I stopped childminding (dc1 was 2) but went to lots of groups for dc1 - still until dc2 was old enough to play with she really missed her "friends" and asked for them to come back. It really was in many ways easier to have three toddlers than one!

Of course if you have more children it's easier to internally justify the fact you're focusing on childcare and (informally and not in an intense way obviously) educating your children rather than getting frazzled and stressed trying to get lots of domestic work done when you are home with the children. I liked that too!

I had a slightly bigger gap from dc2 to dc3 (similar to the gap you're anticipating) and I must admit it was longer until dc2 and 3 played together and I did feel for longer as though I had two children and then a separate "only" and had to keep dc3 from destroying the older children's more complicated games and toys and crafts for the first 2.5 - 3 years. So it is longer until the "pay off" with a bigger gap.

DC1 loved dc3 the way she'd have loved a puppy and with a 5 year gap from dc1-3 they were never really peers - it's definitely not easier having a 6 year old and a one year old than just a six year old, although there are of course still wonderful things about the relationship.

So it depends a lot on the gap.

If you struggle with one though you don't have to have more and it might not be the right choice. It's more environmentally friendly just to have one child and they're more portable, you can spend more money on them and more time (though if you're inclined to be intense this is a double edged sword) and leave them your home all to themselves when you die...

I have 2.

DD1 is 4.5, DD2 is almost 1. DD2 has been a very easy baby. Husband is also very hands on. I think going from none to 1 is much harder. We have never had a night away on our own but we do have grandparents that are willing to babysit for the day or evening so do get a break if needed.

For most of the time I've been off DD1 had only been in part time school so I've had both of them. We have also had a few holidays this year (mostly staycations) so have no issues getting out and about with both.

I am very glad I had DD2, she is an absolute delight. We don't feel we could manage 3 though and I think having a bigger gap than 2 years has massively helped x

I have three under 5 and am pregnant with #4 (our last!) I love it and found that although the juggling gets harder the parenting gets easier. They play with each other, always have a buddy and it feels lovely

We have two, we have a six year age gap which makes things easier as our oldest was at school in the early days, could dress himself, is toilet trained etc, he could also grab something if his sister had fallen asleep and we needed it. It also meant due to our sons age jealousy was less of an issue, its also a way to create more 1:1 time as the activities they enjoy are different, so he still gets lots of days out etc 1:1 rather than sharing them all with his sister. But theres also still plenty we can do as a four.

They’re three and nine now, they play together really nicely, but fairly soon I imagine she will become too annoying etc.

Ours both have additional needs, the youngest more so, so a larger gap helps there, not for the kids, but for us to make our lives easier.

I had 4 no family help, late parents working ft when I had the1st 3, DM died before the last one, second marriage.spread out because you had to accrue maternity leave and it was 3 months after birth. I worked nights,DH days so no having to pay for childcare. The year after the last one was born, became a grandparent, then I'm looking after them as well (plus late father at the end)

I've got two with that age gap and yes, it was a step up, but TBH not that difficult. I never had 2 in nappies at the same time, I didn't need a double buggy. I was a SAHM but my OH worked away a lot so it was pretty much all on me. One thing I will say is that the little bit of family support we did have dried up because my parents said it was too difficult to have both children at once and refused to take the youngest on his own. I wasn't prepared to let them play favourites so eldest didn't stay with them again.

We were a little gang and did all sorts together. It was brilliant.

We had a three year gap- it was supposed to be 2.5 but due to a lot of work travel, it took a while to conceive…you have to be in the same place to make it happen. 😂

We found going from one to two children far easier than having our first. We were more confident as parents and less anxious.

I agree with PP’s that it gets harder when they start having their own activities and hobbies. We found it best to divide and conquer, plus car pooling with other parents.

Now they’re 19 and 16 so we only need to ferry DS around. Although my car is seldom available when DD comes home from university. 🤣