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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect guests to wash their hands on arrival?

390 replies

SillyFillyDress · 16/11/2024 12:37

Am I being unreasonable in thinking people should wash their hands when coming from outside to your house?
Would you ask kids who come to yours for a playdate to wash their hands?
Would you ask adults?

OP posts:
5475878237NC · 16/11/2024 16:02

endofthelinefinally · 16/11/2024 15:37

The first cases of SARS were traced back to lift buttons.

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I was just thinking that!

PrimitivePerson · 16/11/2024 16:01

Hand sanitiser is completely unnecessary in most everyday situations. Only place I ever use it is when hiking in remote locations. It's really bad for your skin.

I currently work in a huge Royal Mail facility and handle thousands of parcels per shift. I wash my hands quite regularly there, but only because they feel manky after a while, not because I'm bothered by what I'm touching.

Mumsnet is the only place I've ever encountered so many people who are really weird about stuff other people have touched.

potatocakesinprogress · 16/11/2024 16:01

SillyFillyDress · 16/11/2024 16:00

I have a newborn. And no one does it. Even health visitors and midwives. That's one of the reasons I raised this question.

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Oh I would if I were a midwife visiting a newborn.

But otherwise no.

Original poster
SillyFillyDress · 16/11/2024 16:00

WaltzingWaters · 16/11/2024 15:21

I would automatically wash my hands if I felt they needed it (for example, I’d come from petrol station, shops, public transport), or if I were visiting a house with a newborn baby. Otherwise, no, a bit OTT.

I have a newborn. And no one does it. Even health visitors and midwives. That's one of the reasons I raised this question.

OP posts:
Original poster
SillyFillyDress · 16/11/2024 15:57

Ontopofthesunset · 16/11/2024 13:36

I would never ask anyone else to do this (except, as others have said, small children before eating or if visibly muddy etc) but I usually wash my hands on getting home or if I travel by public transport to a restaurant. My hands usually feel a bit grubby or sticky after travelling. And quite often I need the loo when I arrive somewhere so I wash my hands then anyway. We are all exposed to numerous germs everywhere so washing my hands on getting home doesn't mean I'm living in a sterile bubble!

Yep. I'm the same. I feel more comfortable washing my hands after being out. But I don't remind adults to do it. I can ask kids if they want to wash their hands though but I won't insist if they are not my kids. Kids are kids and their hands are everywhere. Do you wash your hands when coming to someone's house?

OP posts:
AntiHop · 16/11/2024 15:56

I really wish I could ask everyone to do this at this time of year when stomach bugs are rife. So many people don't have wash their hands properly, or at all, after going to the toilet. You can't build up immunity to stomach bugs.

But unfortunately people would take offence, despite it actually being a reasonable request. Even if you wash your hands, other people who don't will be touching things you are, like the exit door of a public toilet.

Yes, I would ask your nanny op.

Wishfives · 16/11/2024 15:54

@SillyFillyDress then tell/ ask your nanny to wash their hands no need to start a thread on Mumsnet tbh

Dorisbonson · 16/11/2024 15:54

Its personal choice.

It's nice in swanky hotels when they give you the hot towels and little drink on arrival but can't see you offering that to guests.

Pusheen467 · 16/11/2024 15:53

That's unbelievably rude.

thecherryfox · 16/11/2024 15:52

Before eating - obviously. But when entering a home, no that’s weird and controlling to try and police people that way.

UltraHorse · 16/11/2024 15:52

Made me laugh can't imagine telling anyone I know to do that they would be so shocked and maybe wonder if I was ok !

FeelinTwentySixPointTwo · 16/11/2024 15:52

The only person I know who washes their hands every time they go indoors is a friend who was very, very, senior in the Forces. He says it was something he did in his Army days and it stuck.
He never asks anyone else to do it though.

Original poster
SillyFillyDress · 16/11/2024 15:51

Ava27268 · 16/11/2024 15:47

I’ve they’ve travelled on public transport esp tube, then yes. If they’ve just driven or walked, definitely not!

It's easier to always do it than to think about where you've been and what you touched. It's a simple, no-brainer action.

OP posts:
MotherofPearl · 16/11/2024 15:51

I have trained my children to wash their hands as soon as they get home from school or activities, and I certainly wash mine when I get home from work or shopping. But I wouldn't be asking guests to.

WrongSortOfPoster · 16/11/2024 15:49

@SillyFillyDress , when I come home, the first thing I do is go to the loo and get changed. I wash my hands then.

Original poster
SillyFillyDress · 16/11/2024 15:47

TattyAna · 16/11/2024 13:12

I always wash my hands when I come in from doing the shopping or work. . . . it has never occured to me to suggest that I wash them when I arrive at someone else's home, but, acually,if the offer was made "Would you like to wash your hands?" I might well take someone up on it.
Maybe you could phrase it as a question to adults (but just tell pre-teen kids to do it)?

I think I opened a can of worms here.
So basically we wash our hands when coming home. For me this is a simple reasonable action. Why wouldn't you wash your hands after school/shop/public transport. I won't ask our guests to do it but I'm hiring a nanny at the moment and I would love her to follow the same routine. I had a couple of trial sessions and noticed no one does it so I raised the question.

OP posts:
Ava27268 · 16/11/2024 15:47

I’ve they’ve travelled on public transport esp tube, then yes. If they’ve just driven or walked, definitely not!

Ellepff · 16/11/2024 15:46

I wouldn’t, but I’ve been to houses where it’s their custom and it doesn’t bother me. If they asked in a funny way I’d be upset

WrongSortOfPoster · 16/11/2024 15:45

She's probably having her porch transformed into a sanitizing area.

MikeRafone · 16/11/2024 15:45

we had a big drive on this hand washing through covid to help stop spreading illness - now it sees people have forgotten.

Washing hands does help and with winter illness rife presently, especially with children - its a good habit

hand foot and mouth is going through nurseries like wild fire

mathanxiety · 16/11/2024 15:44

MrsBobtonTrent · 16/11/2024 14:00

I was brought up to wash my hands when coming home, so I have always done it. Also removing outdoor footwear. It seems pretty basic to me. I don't expect people here to do it, but I think basic hygience is pretty poor in the UK. So many people coughing and sneezing everywhere. Not washing their hands after using the toilet or changing nappies or fiddling with animals. Not wiping gym equipment after sweating all over it. Wearing healthcare uniforms on public transport and in supermarkets. There's robust exposure to germs (healthy and appropriate) and then there's just filth.

I don't use sanitiser or antibacterial sprays/wipes. I just wash like a proper person.

I agree 100% with all of this, and it applies in the US and Ireland too. Coughing, sneezing, spitting, wiping noses on the back of their hands and on sleeves - I'd say people are pigs but I'd probably be insulting pigs.

InternationalVelveteen · 16/11/2024 15:43

These drive-by threads are so transparent. 🙄

Wishfives · 16/11/2024 15:41

3 hours later and the op hasn't returned ......... Any point carrying on?

mathanxiety · 16/11/2024 15:39

TheBigSalami · 16/11/2024 14:27

How welcoming 😂

No, I would not expect any guests to wash their hands at any point. That’s completely weird.

I think it would be off-putting if a host seemed completely unconcerned if I didn't "freshen up" on arrival. I'd wonder if they had washed their hands before handling food tbh.

DreamyDreamy · 16/11/2024 15:38

Ah well, I’m in the 5% who agree with the OP.
I don’t ask adult guest to wash their hands but it secretly annoys me when they don’t, I ask the kids though.
This is a pre-covid habit, I have always been a bit strange about touching things outside, like buttons push to cross the street, imagine all the fingers who have touched it, including men who went to the loo and didn’t wash hands, people who picked their nose etc, would you not wash your hands after touching the same surface they touched?

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