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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect guests to wash their hands on arrival?

390 replies

SillyFillyDress · 16/11/2024 12:37

Am I being unreasonable in thinking people should wash their hands when coming from outside to your house?
Would you ask kids who come to yours for a playdate to wash their hands?
Would you ask adults?

OP posts:
Whatsitreallylike · 16/11/2024 13:17

I thought this was going to be about holding a new born baby, or visiting an immune compromise person. If someone randomly and without exceptional circumstances asked me to wash my hands on arrival I would leave!

Edizzler25 · 16/11/2024 13:17

Do agree at present with a 9 week old baby recently hospitalised with bronchiolitis after testing positive for RSV. But wouldn’t usually, though I wish this was the norm especially in cold and flu season. We’d all be healthier with higher hand hygiene standards

CaptainRedbeardandbigbadbarry · 16/11/2024 13:15

I am with you on this op. Not many are though. We aren’t weird. Just very hygienic. My husband is the same as me.

Zestyfrost · 16/11/2024 13:15

No I wouldn't. Never even occurred to me.

I do wash my hands when I get back from shopping and when I get in from work.

If a kid came to ours with muddy/dirty hands I wouldn't be thrilled as our house is all white so wouldn't appreciate muddy hands everywhere!

WrongSortOfPoster · 16/11/2024 13:15

Disinfectant footbath, hand sanitizer and a vigorous spray of anti-bacterial/anti-viral is the way to go @SillyFillyDress

mumedu · 16/11/2024 13:13

VainAbigail · 16/11/2024 13:13

You can’t expect anything off anyone. Why do you feel you should expect this??

Well, I guess it's her house, her rules. Is it that hard to wash hands? Jeez.

showersandflowers · 16/11/2024 13:13

YABU. Unless you have a serious condition maybe that requires high levels of cleanliness or you're in the middle of a pandemic 🤷‍♀️

VainAbigail · 16/11/2024 13:13

You can’t expect anything off anyone. Why do you feel you should expect this??

TattyAna · 16/11/2024 13:12

I always wash my hands when I come in from doing the shopping or work. . . . it has never occured to me to suggest that I wash them when I arrive at someone else's home, but, acually,if the offer was made "Would you like to wash your hands?" I might well take someone up on it.
Maybe you could phrase it as a question to adults (but just tell pre-teen kids to do it)?

mumedu · 16/11/2024 13:12

LaineyCee · 16/11/2024 12:47

That sounds unhinged.

Basic hygiene though isn't it, especially at this time of year.

samedifferent · 16/11/2024 13:11

I think washing your hands before eating is normal in several cultures but not all.
I wouldn't expect it of anyone and certainly wouldn't ask adults to do it.
If dc had been getting muddy in the garden I might think to but I'm pretty relaxed about it. Living in a sterile environment isn't actually good for us.

mumedu · 16/11/2024 13:10

SillyFillyDress · 16/11/2024 12:37

Am I being unreasonable in thinking people should wash their hands when coming from outside to your house?
Would you ask kids who come to yours for a playdate to wash their hands?
Would you ask adults?

Basic hygiene. I wish everyone would do this. Gross not to. I might feel sheepish asking people to do this but I think it's the right thing to do. I wash my hands everything I come home and I sanitise at others'.

Mebebecat · 16/11/2024 13:10

I don't remember supervising my own DC hand washing after about the age of six! I'm buggered if I'm going to start supervising random adults now.

WestwardHo1 · 16/11/2024 13:09

I would be massively pissed off if someone told me to wash my hands on entry to their house. Not that it has ever happened.

Do you think they have been playing with dog shit or something?

Katrinawaves · 16/11/2024 13:07

Yes you are being unreasonable and are out of synch with norms.

I’ve never in nearly 6 decades been asked by anyone to wash my hands when entering their home nor has anyone visiting me ever asked to use my bathroom when visiting me to wash theirs, nor have I ever seen anyone wash their hands when entering their own home.

This is a you do you thing I think. If you want to wash your own hands to this extent have at it, but if you ask your guests to do this too many will find that to be very odd!

godmum56 · 16/11/2024 13:06

LaineyCee · 16/11/2024 12:51

Frequent handwashing and sanitising of hands, yes. Asking people to wash their hands specifically when they cross your threshold, no. What next? Standing over them making sure they wash long enough in hot enough water? Making sure they use a nail brush? Lining them up for inspection afterwards?

you forgot conducting the singing of happy birthday.

KlaraSundown · 16/11/2024 13:05

Yes you are being very weird. Back in the day I'd probably have asked young children on play dates to wash their hand before dinner, but that's it.

afrikat · 16/11/2024 13:02

OrsolaRosso · 16/11/2024 12:39

If kids are over for a play date, I would ask them to wash hands before food. That's it.

Same as this

pavementgerms · 16/11/2024 13:02

No!

Dontlletmedownbruce · 16/11/2024 13:00

YABU. Only time I requested it was with premature DC2 in the early weeks.

I rarely wash my hands just for the sake of it. I do pee a lot though and always wash carefully with soap after so I guess that's enough. I tell my kids to wash hands before dinner if they have been playing outside. One spends a lot of time up a tree or in a ditch so I think that's fair.

Wibblywobblybobbly · 16/11/2024 12:59

If anyone asked me to do this, then (unless they were immunocompromised or something) I'd assume they were struggling with severe anxiety or full-on OCD (in the medical sense, not the "I'm a bit fussy" way people often use it).

Are you okay OP?

Fluufer · 16/11/2024 12:58

Only if they were visibly dirty. And then I would hope I wouldn't need to ask. That's really weird.
I usually wash my own hands when I get home, but wouldn't demand it of others.

Bangwam1 · 16/11/2024 12:57

Too controlling to demand it, but I agree with you. We spent two years in lockdown, I get some filth is good but I consider it basic hygiene to wash my hands after touching all sorts. Just logical for me.

ComtesseDeSpair · 16/11/2024 12:56

Tiramisusie · 16/11/2024 12:48

This is weird. Also a bit surprised by how many PP wash hands after public transport. There are germs in the world - it’s not healthy to live in a sterile bubble.

I’d do this if asked, but I wouldn’t want to come back to visit again!

I’ve seen people on the bus cough up phlegm into their hand, inspect it, then wipe it on the handrail. Or reach into their trousers to scratch their backside and then press the bell. After that, taking 30 seconds to wash my hands if I’ve been on public transport just seems a small effort!

Hallllllllie · 16/11/2024 12:54

Crazy.