To think separated parents have the best of both worlds?

Your post is a bit ridiculous and totally underplays how a marriage split, even a well managed, amicable one, affects the children involved.
Separated parents don't "have the best of both worlds". Co-parenting can be a hard juggle and takes a lot of patience. Not to mention the financial aspects which again take a lot of juggling and can be difficult.
Then there is being single rather than in a couple.
And finally throw in the complication of new partners.

I almost find your initial post offensive tbh.

I am specifically talking about parents who have split and one parent had the children for at least some of the time.

And how often does it work like this? Dad takes kids regularly and reliably?

Contributes to childcare as well as cms so both parents can afford to work?

Both parents earn enough to afford a decent standard of living independently?

Children are settled and accepting of the new lifestyle...

Yeah you should do it. It'll be a breeze. And you already know, the father of your children is a hard worker who pulls his weight. Good luck!

You’re comparing a “perfect” scenario for the separated parents and a crappy one for the married parents. Of course the separated scenario seems better.

In many ways being a single parent has been easier for me. My ex has to actually make an effort with kids and i get a break (not that often).

The 5050 parents, yes, they probably do. Any other type of arrangement and someone will be missing out

I do agree with this though! I'm infinitely happier.

It's easier to be separated than be in a marriage with someone who makes your life difficult/doesn't contribute. Definitely.

just me and in many ways I’m the least important one.

Eurgh this kind of martyr spiel is nauseating.

Anyway, what makes you think if you split that their lazy father who can't be bothered to do much around the house or with them will suddenly be all about contact and giving you a balance? Whilst a break might sound pleasant, it's still challenging the rest of the week, and that 'break' sometimes falls at Christmas, on birthdays and whenever else; would you not be sad to not see your children then?

Swings and roundabouts.

I'm newly divorced, share DC. I am learning to love the 4 nights a fortnight childfree time. It is awesome to get a break.

BUT. On the flip side, I am running an entire household on my own wage. And life is so expensive, and I'm trying to get out of debt. And when something breaks, it's on me to sort it. Though this can sometimes feel better than wanting someone else to pull their weight and being resentful when they don't.

Childcare has to be watertight. I have to leave work much earlier than someone with a partner or no kids, and it's hard.

I have to see my abusive ex nearly every day for DC contact. I can never just block him and not think about him again.

My DC will always have the disprivilege of coming from a broken home, which statistically will have an impact on them (but still better than living with parents in an abusive relationship).

Some single parents never get childfree time, and they'll be on to tell you how bone-crushingly awful that is. And some never get any maintenance money at all, and they'll tell you the same.

Ultimately, I am now much poorer than I was when in a happy relationship. But infinitely better apart than when that relationship turned abusive. And the side benefits of not having to worry about a man-child and having some child-free time are relevant. Though co-parenting with a man-child is still a pain in the arse.

If the non resident parent has the children regularly and pays fairly and doesn’t fuck up the well-being of the dc with nastiness then yes! You get rid of a horrible partner and get lots of time alone. But it’s v v v hard!!!

I think you are assuming that separated parents always co parent well together. Often there is plenty of conflict and there are obviously huge financial pressures unless you happen to have your own well paid job. I think if you are comfortably off and can come parent well then yes it us undoubtedly better than a shit marriage.

If you genuinely think it would be better. Do it.

Having been in this position for 10 years I 100% wouldn't recommend.

Maybe it's your choice of husband?

Hmm you would be surprised I’m a lone parent so I don’t get any break to myself what so ever literally never had a night off in 7 years nothing! ex doesn’t see them so I do everything, but all the single parents I speak to seem to be envious of me they say they hate their children being away from them and wish they could keep them all the time so a lot won’t agree with you but I personally think one of the perks of breaking up is getting regular breaks if you are lucky enough to get them! I would have happily done 50/50..