To think DH is insane to suggest this

OP also created a complex family.

Really - your 3 year old would kick off about seeing her presumably much loved siblings on Christmas Day? Quite a projection - I can see your step DC are a huge inconvenience to you but maybe not to your daughter.

I'm.really confused as to why everyone is prioritising the husband's want to see siblings together. He was the one who created a complex family. He lives with the consequences.
Those are: he doesn't get to see children together on Christmas day. It's really simple.

The OP stays with her dd. The ex with her kids.

OP I completely agree with you.

every single word and follow up post.

Bollocks. What's the point? Deleted.

If your family arrive later in the day could you invite ex and SDC for dinner or even brunch then they go off before your family get there?

Why is it ‘best’ simply because it’s pre-arranged? It is beneficial for children to see their separated parents spending amicable time together for their benefit. Older children will also care much more about leaving a lonely parent at home by themselves.

Nor will the ex!

I think you are being daft saying this though, they are not his DSC. Would you feel the same if it was your kids and you were only seeing 1 of them? He needs to either stand up to her and tell her no, or I don't see a problem in him taking your child there for a bit on Xmas day.

Contrary to common belief, you will not turn into a pumpkin if you have to spend a couple of hours on your own on 25 December.

But you will have your family there. In this situation, someone has to be the bigger person. Two hours while your DD sees her siblings on Christmas Day isn't a massive amount of time. It will give you a bit of space to put your feet up and chill.

@Whyherewego Which is why I suggested alternating the days. But OP won't do that.

I must admit I don't at all see the necessity for the husband to see all his children together. He visits his children for a while. Taking the youngest is not OK, of course the OP should not be separated from her dd on Christmas day. And of course, the ex should not be invited.

I think that either ex comes over for dinner or DH pops round to see them Christmas morning makes perfect sense, either with your DD or by himself.

I wouldn’t be fine with this and OP says she wouldn’t be fine with this.

The ex is only having a strop about it because she’s newly single otherwise she wouldn’t be bothered.

I think in your case OP, I’d grit my teeth and have her and DSC on Christmas Day. State to your DH that if she’s rude or nasty on the day that she leaves.

Yes but that won't be happening. What dH is suggesting is that the 3 year old is brought to a stranger's house for a few hours to spend some time with her half sibs. There won't be any new Xmas toys there for the 3 year old and nor will there be other toys for her.

Hi OP I’m a step mum and I’d not like that but also my DH would not suggest it. There are other solutions than that! Conversely a family member had the ex wife of her partner inappropriately involved IMO - she was invited to every family event still and she moved onto the same fucking street!!!! She was still pally with the ex sis in law who also lived on that street. Don’t think it was malicious think she wanted to remain involved but found this inappropriate and boundary crossing on a lot of levels and disrespectful to my family member.

Would you and your DH be open to the following?: We have two Christmases for the kids, the first Christmas is at their Mum’s Xmas day and they come to us late evening and second Christmas is on Boxing Day. It still has the Christmas feel.

This is a conversation DP needs to have with exP and agree Xmas like adults. If he wants to see the kids he needs to sort it.

I agree with OP my 3 yrd old DD would not be going to a stranger house on Christmas day to see half older siblings.

I would have no issue with the DP nipping to see his children for an hour and then whole family can be together the day before/after.

They are not together as a family unit. You are. You are not stopping him from seeing his DC his exP is.

The OP is not saying the any child cannot see their parent. DP just need to sort it so it works for all children and all 3 adults

The ex is being unreasonable. She shouldnt just get to decide the plans change to suit her.

Your husband should tell her that the kids are still coming to you as planned, although I would be worried that they are of an age where she can guilt trip them into not wanting to ve by saying she will be sad and alone.

You need a conversation with your husband about how your plans should bit change to suit her

I think this is what you need to expect when you get together with someone who already has kids. It could be nice for your kids to see you all getting on.
Like it or not many exes are connected together for life and still love and care about them (platonically)

My DSD is the same! Our niece is two and DSD makes out she’s cool and it’s “to entertain her” but she has more fun with the toddler toys than her own gifts sometimes 😂 it’s nice that they can relax and enjoy things that people might think they are too old for!

OP, I think you’re beginning to sound a little petulant here. Neither are insane suggestions, they are options. I think it’s best for children if their adults can put their feelings aside and be seen to be doing their best for them.

Yes, it would be best if the ex put her feelings aside and did what was best for her children - so they go to their dad's as per the arrangement!

So he wants to go and play happy families with his ex, their shared children and your child too? While you stay home alone waiting for your side of the family to arrive and for him to bring your child home? Absolutely not. What is he thinking suggesting that!

I think it’s different because the ex is newly single after a long-term relationship breakdown and Christmas can be an exceptionally lonely and difficult time during those circumstances. Her children are also getting older and I wouldn’t be surprised if fact she has finite Christmases with them isn’t playing a role.

The OP, on the other hand is happily married with a young family unit. I would expect her feelings surrounding Christmas Day to be a little more robust. In fact they have to be more robust because she married someone with other children to accommodate.

OP, I think you’re beginning to sound a little petulant here. Neither are insane suggestions, they are options. I think it’s best for children if their adults can put their feelings aside and be seen to be doing their best for them. You just don’t like her, but you need to take your emotions out of this.

You may not be the one separated from your child’s father, but you are married to the father who is separated from his children’s mother, so it affects you no matter what.

Quite