Page 9 | It's after 3am and DH isn't back yet, aibu for being annoyed?

tometoyoutodo · 2024-11-16T03:25:07+00:00

Yesterday he left home for a Work dinner at 2pm and has texted just once at 6pm. How would you feel? There's 3 Primary aged DCs at Home with Me.

Artistbythewater · 16/11/2024 06:46

olivechuu · 16/11/2024 06:43

They’re at the casino. 9 times out of 10.

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Hmmm of course they are.

Artistbythewater · 16/11/2024 06:45

There aren’t many places to spend the entire night unless you live in a major city. So I would be hauling his arse out of bed and demanding some answers.

You do seem quite passive op, I don’t think this is helping. He has zero respect for you or the family and life you share.

olivechuu · 16/11/2024 06:45

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olivechuu · 16/11/2024 06:43

Wishicouldnotcare · 16/11/2024 06:36

Where do these AWOL partners actually go after the pubs and restaurants are all shut?
Don't these posters who say they don't care their partner hasn't come home even give a passing thought to where the absent partner is? Who they are with?Who they are spending the night with?

They’re at the casino. 9 times out of 10.

Artistbythewater · 16/11/2024 06:43

olivechuu · 16/11/2024 06:42

Don’t do it then.

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I’m not going to thanks. It is possible to have a great night out without getting shit faced and disrespectful - you do know that don’t you?? Jesus raise the bar. Be better. Expect better.

Wishicouldnotcare · 16/11/2024 06:42

You have every right to be angry OP.
Totally selfish irresponsible behaviour.
I wonder if he will remember where he actually was until 6 in the morning because I would certainly be wanting to know.

olivechuu · 16/11/2024 06:42

Artistbythewater · 16/11/2024 06:37

Fun isn’t getting stinking drunk at 3am like a student! Honestly it’s just grubby and very unappealing. Ditto the fight. Kniuckle draggers.

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Don’t do it then.

Artistbythewater · 16/11/2024 06:40

TickingAlongNicely · 16/11/2024 06:40

It takes 30 seconds to send a text saying that plans have changed.

It is called RESPECT and consideration. Absolutely no excuse for such piss poor behaviour.

TickingAlongNicely · 16/11/2024 06:40

It takes 30 seconds to send a text saying that plans have changed.

Artistbythewater · 16/11/2024 06:39

tometoyoutodo · 16/11/2024 06:37

Thanks to those few posters who understand my concern! Especially @Gingerlingerlonger
He got home at 6, woke the entire house up and has now gone off to bed. I've no doubt his hangover will be awful once he wakes up, I on the other hand have a DC football match, tennis & ballet lessons to contend with plus x2 Birthday Parties (DC Friends) this afternoon.
Realised I started this thread in annoyance after a few weeks of real imbalance in our parenting responsibilities, definitely a conversation to be had today.

You sound far too good for this op. Where on earth has he been?? Disgusting behaviour waking everyone up such a poor example to your dc.
I would have put him back outside. Revolting.

Artistbythewater · 16/11/2024 06:37

olivechuu · 16/11/2024 06:35

3am isn’t an extraordinary time to be out on a night out? Especially not if he was watching the Tyson fight. Adults are allowed to do fun things too.

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Fun isn’t getting stinking drunk at 3am like a student! Honestly it’s just grubby and very unappealing. Ditto the fight. Kniuckle draggers.

Original poster

tometoyoutodo · 16/11/2024 06:37

Thanks to those few posters who understand my concern! Especially @Gingerlingerlonger
He got home at 6, woke the entire house up and has now gone off to bed. I've no doubt his hangover will be awful once he wakes up, I on the other hand have a DC football match, tennis & ballet lessons to contend with plus x2 Birthday Parties (DC Friends) this afternoon.
Realised I started this thread in annoyance after a few weeks of real imbalance in our parenting responsibilities, definitely a conversation to be had today.

OP posts:

Wishicouldnotcare · 16/11/2024 06:36

Where do these AWOL partners actually go after the pubs and restaurants are all shut?
Don't these posters who say they don't care their partner hasn't come home even give a passing thought to where the absent partner is? Who they are with?Who they are spending the night with?

olivechuu · 16/11/2024 06:35

Artistbythewater · 16/11/2024 06:31

Yes I enjoy nights out, but grown ups in thr real world do not get so drunk as to still be out at this time with young children. I wouldn’t stand for it.

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3am isn’t an extraordinary time to be out on a night out? Especially not if he was watching the Tyson fight. Adults are allowed to do fun things too.

Artistbythewater · 16/11/2024 06:34

itsgettingweird · 16/11/2024 06:27

Not a low bar.

Just understand some people want a good night out every now and again and don't automatically assume if they've gone out like millions of others on a Friday night they are laying in a ditch unlike millions of others as a result.

Yes - things can happen. But you can't avoid life in case they do.

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A good night out doesn’t equate to this in my book. Very low.standards and expectations breeds poor decisions and behaviour- as there are no consequences. I would not find this attractive in a partnership or a man.

Artistbythewater · 16/11/2024 06:31

Differentstarts · 16/11/2024 06:25

He's gone for a night out, don't you ever leave the house

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Yes I enjoy nights out, but grown ups in thr real world do not get so drunk as to still be out at this time with young children. I wouldn’t stand for it.

Samphire44 · 16/11/2024 06:29

Surely you can have a good night out though and a bit more communication so the other person does not worry e.g at the call at 6pm or before you go let the other person know you might be staying with x overnight so not home until the morning.

itsgettingweird · 16/11/2024 06:27

Artistbythewater · 16/11/2024 06:15

Some people have such a low, low bar.
Most of us should want to share our lives with mature, considerate partners that have got their shit together for their beloved children, not rolling around in a gutter somewhere at 3am.

Not a low bar.

Just understand some people want a good night out every now and again and don't automatically assume if they've gone out like millions of others on a Friday night they are laying in a ditch unlike millions of others as a result.

Yes - things can happen. But you can't avoid life in case they do.

Differentstarts · 16/11/2024 06:25

Artistbythewater · 16/11/2024 06:15

Some people have such a low, low bar.
Most of us should want to share our lives with mature, considerate partners that have got their shit together for their beloved children, not rolling around in a gutter somewhere at 3am.

He's gone for a night out, don't you ever leave the house

Differentstarts · 16/11/2024 06:23

Gingerlingerlonger · 16/11/2024 04:57

It's not controlling nor odd. It's fear. Fear that the person you love and is the father/mother of your shared children is lying in the street having been stabbed or beaten, alone in the middle of the night.

Once that worry enters your head, it quickly becomes all consuming. It is a dangerous world and only fools pretend these things don't happen.

Life 360

FamilyPhoto · 16/11/2024 06:17

Is he home yet? Do you have plans as a family today? What would his reaction be if you did the same thing ?

Shoxfordian · 16/11/2024 06:17

Just go to sleep and leave him to it, he's an adult

Artistbythewater · 16/11/2024 06:15

Some people have such a low, low bar.
Most of us should want to share our lives with mature, considerate partners that have got their shit together for their beloved children, not rolling around in a gutter somewhere at 3am.

ZekeZeke · 16/11/2024 06:06

Once off, let it go. His hangover will be mighty today.
If its a pattern then you need to sit down and have a conversation.

PortiasBiscuit · 16/11/2024 06:05

My DH is a grown up. I would be bloody furious if he texted me at quarter past three in the morning and woke me up for no real reason. He’s out, it’s Saturday morning, let him get on with it.
Unless he does this every weekend, but I guess he doesn’t.