It's after 3am and DH isn't back yet, aibu for being annoyed?

@Tink3rbell30

no people can drink and have fun and stay out late at any age. You might not like it or find it attractive but so what? 🤷‍♀️

It is though. Hardly attractive, there's no need to be wandering around unable to even string a sentence together at that hour past a certain age. You expect it from 18 year olds.

She’s clearly written that he doesn’t do this often .
who hurt you ? 😂

Parenting's a shared thing. With the kids' calendars packed with so much stuff to do today then it's up to both of you to make it all happen. And to plan and behave sensibly.

Unfortunately he hasn't and I get the impression this isn't a one off

No, he's not safe to be driving them around, probably smells and looks awful and is unlikely to be able to make sensible conversation with kids or adults today, so I guess you're stuck with it all for now.

But saying this evening when he's hopefully more together 'I've planned to meet the girls for a shopping and long lunch trip tomorrow so you're on parent duty today' and not taking any shit sounds like a great plan.

He will of course stick them in front of the TV, give them junk food then moan about being left to do all the work.

But it's time to discuss this.

@Tink3rbell30

ageist.

Some real low bars for expectations here; says more about them op - not you.

I am terrible for carrying on the party with my friends. It is once in a blue moon as I work in a high stress job. However, I always say roughly where I am going, a rough time back and I will send a message if it’s going on late. Just respect really. I don’t want my husband thinking I’m in a ditch. If he’s at home with the children, only fair really. I am not 18 - I’ve got responsibilities and generally not a selfish arsehole.

I'm also at an age where I am capable of having fun without getting plastered but sometimes I like to have fun whilst getting at least a little bit plastered. There's so cut off or age limit to doing slightly daft things and in a basically respectful and loving relationship, you can allow each other a bit of flex.

@Artistbythewater

says who? You? Grownups can do what they want, it’s part of being a grown up. So long as he is ok with OP going out and doing the same and letting her hair down then I really can’t see the issue

🤣🤣🤣🤣 you are fun to be around

"Selfish partners who treat them like crap" wow.. he rarely goes out. It's not a weekly or even monthly occurrence.
And I am definitely not a cool wife..

YANBU. He needs to grow up, that's something 18 year olds do. Embarrassing past a certain age.

Why, just because your tucked up in bed with a horlicks by 10pm after a night out doesn't mean others should

@gannett You've got a good one there 🖤

It sounds like concern for people but it's not.
It's just the self-congratulation signal.
You give yourself away with the insults.

Disagreeing is not desperate. It's simply...disagreeing.

I feel so sorry for those posters desperate to prove their cool wife credentials whilst clearly living with shit selfish partners who treat them like crap.

You really don’t have to put up with being treated as the enabling default parent you know. You’re entitled to expect more from the father of your children.

@Artistbythewater

yeah people don’t have a personality transplant when they have kids! If they enjoyed letting off a bit of steam before kids then they will enjoy it too after kids. And why on earth not?? 😀

@DesertGecko

why? He is entitled to let his hair down from time to time as is Op 🤷‍♀️ what’s the issue?

Isn't there just!

Controlling.

If that's what you feel when your other half is out, you need therapy.

It's not normal at all. It's irrational and controlling.

'Hi I'm calling at 3am because I'm scared you've been stabbed to death'

😂

The last time I had a blowout without DP and rolled back in at 5am, he had nurofen and a fry-up (and some light piss-taking) ready and waiting when I emerged from bed!

I do and I’m a woman 😂 Well my kids are older now but I did it when they were young too. Nobody is telling me I have to stay home every night, fuck that!

I guess it depends if you think going out for the afternoon and then staying out till 3am drinking as a parent is normal or not. I was over it at 25 and married someone who barely drinks, plenty of people are still doing it into old age though.

It sounds like it's not the norm in the OP's house though and it's not the norm in mine. I'd be seriously pissed off that he hadn't messaged to say he was going to be really late and I'd be pissed off that he was completely off his face. It's not the end of the world but I wouldn't be impressed.

If my husband was waiting to "have a chat" with me after I'd had a rare blowout with friends and I was hungover, I'd be thinking they were controlling and not wanting me to have fun. God let people not worry about time and responsibility for once, our lives are ruled by it.

A regular occurrence is a different story.

@ leia24 I lived in a city for almost 40 years.
So yes I know lots of pubs stay open late. And there are casinos and Sports Bars, night clubs and strip joints, lap dancing clubs and brothels. Lots of places. So assuming the person in question hasn't met with some sort of accident or isn't walking the streets or asleep on a park bench or similar he could be at any one of these.Or at some ones house, or a hotel .

Obviously reading this thread a lot of posters wouldn't give a damn which of the above options their partner had chosen. But I would. I would want to know.